All the world’s a stage and we’re putting on the performance of a lifetime.
I figure five sleepless nights is good cause to revive this old blog. I have every intention of writing frequently here, since writing is one of my many trusted mirrors that lets me look at myself in a way I understand best. But that intention floats into nothingness somewhere between the full time job, commitment to produce a book every year and life in general. It’s always there in the background though – this thought that says “I really want to post a blog…”
Something about the rare full moon last weekend brought with it some energy that my conscious mind hasn’t caught up to yet. Ever since July 2015 hit my life has been unfolding like a dream, an even more vivid dream than one that brought me many moments of magic. Only now I’m not longer the passive observer I once was watching a movie from some un-locatable space inside myself. Now, this cycle, this round, this go-about I’m right at the front of the surf board, not only riding each dip and rise of the currents painting my moments but quietly directing the movie itself. I’m mixing metaphors to keep myself from saying anything while at the same time bringing two worlds to collide in front of my eyes. Two beautiful, very beautiful worlds – three if I factor in the years in between them and paint a face I only now see as the mid-point reflection of everything I’m waking up to.
Somewhere some how this is as meaningful as it is meaningless.
One, one was magnificent. Beautiful, epic, tittering myself on that edge between sanity and complete loss of all my edges. I reached for something so big, at least it seemed that way at the time, that I learned how to raise the earth up and above to propel me into new levels of understanding…everything. I made magic, beautiful inexplicable magic. Bending trees, raining rainbows and riding on the neck of shooting stars. One taught me how to be One in a world that denied oneness but only on the surface. One leaned in and whispered to me about my eternal luminous-ness, a light so bright and a sound so cosmic that it broke the rules of time and space and wove a show fit for a celestial audience. All the world was our stage.
Two, that mid-point was a lesson in individuating, in noticing the merged self and learning how to not be swallowed up to the point of disappearance. We’re not here to disappear. We’re here to learn to stand in all the states of being, the one, the other and the whole without losing any one of the numberless perspectives each state presents. Each is valid, worthy and must be embodied fully. A balanced interchange requires balanced players, players capable of standing in all shoes without losing grip on their individuality within the underlying thread of oneness - to forget yourself is to forget a part of the whole. To lose yourself is to lose a part of the whole. An impossibility exercised only because you haven't learned how to be fully you - fully individual and simultaneously One. Two was about emerging from oneness and dissolving into oneness intact.
Three, I don’t yet know everything about three but I know it’s as epic and beautiful as anything I could have ever dreamed would come to me. Three I suspect is about a trinity – learning to create self and other out of the wholeness that always contains us – learning to allow self and other in the wholeness, to contribute consciously only that which is bright and beautiful. Three is about embracing the destruction of boundaries and elevation of independence – contradictory you would think these are but in dissolving self and other, and resolving to set both free to completely be totally self and totally other something reveals itself – an indestructible core for which there are no words.
We don’t create relationships…if we pay attention enough we’ll learn to notice how it’s the living entity that is the relationship, that is the living intelligent force field that creates the you and me out of itself.
Three is not about you as One.
Three is not about me as ‘two’.
Three is about noticing that primary unseen ooze that forms itself as you and me. Three is not about awareness of self or awareness of other. Three is about the space out of which self and other emerge.