Friday, November 13

When it’s Epic

What makes a story Epic?

If you go by Hollywood’s portrayal, an epic story is one of grand adventure – it could involve alien invasions or alien abductions or some endless sequence of overcoming one out of this world obstacle after another. “Epic” in the mainstream sense is equated with some larger-than-life external experience showing up to redefine the way you look at the world and maybe even yourself. But in this presentation, it’s all about what’s happening all around you and what’s happening to you…seldom is it about what’s happening through you.

I’m not sure what made me ask what makes something “epic” to me. I was reflecting on the past ten years of my life, looking at all of the adventures I’ve gone on and the changes I’ve experienced and I could only settle on one conclusion. What makes an experience epic for me in my own life is not when something apparently unbelievable comes along wrapped up in a giant golden bow but rather when something comes along and unwraps things inside of me so that I once again awaken to how everything is happening through me. The epic thing is the thing that makes me look at myself differently, makes me feel more empowered, more loved, more supported, more connected, more capable, more magical than I ever thought I could be. It makes me more self-aware and reminds me and reflects to me that all that I behold, whether believable or unbelievable, is my own doing.

What’s epic is never the thing "out there" but the thing inside your own being. The only larger than life thing there is, is the living power inside every being. That's it. Everything else is a mirage formed and deformed by the degree to which this living power is allowed to express itself fully through you.

The Universe doesn’t actually have scales in what it presents. Any scale that is perceived is a human construction and not an actual elevation or devaluation inherent in the thing being perceived. There are no great things and great people and small things and small people. Regardless of the wrappings something comes in, it is not greater or lesser than something else. No event, no circumstance, no individual or groups of individual are held to a higher value than others in the cosmic sense - only in the realm of conditioned thinking does such a gradation exist.

The core of everything that shows up is epic. If you focus on the wrappings, you will become entranced by them falling to the belief that they are as their surface suggests. But the surface, the wrapping, the appearance will always be an unreliable presentation. The value of what shows up, its true service to you and your evolution, is not in its appearance but rather in what it makes you aware of about your own being. If you focus on the core of whatever is showing up though, you will without fail awaken to the epic capacity inside yourself.

Every moment is an epic moment when you condition yourself to focus on its core, its essence, the substance out of which it has been formed.

Sunday, November 1

Where ever I go, there I Am

What I love is waking up with the urge to blog!

I know it's still a few months early to be writing about this past year but I have to say 2015 for me has been a year of exponential growth, not just in the material sense but in the immaterial as well. I think every season I feel more tuned in, more in touch with the inner unseen wizardry that runs the who. But every season I'm proved wrong as I reach deeper into my bottomless boundless beginning - that beginningless space that writes all the stories of all times and all spaces.

Maybe 35 is the magic number because it has been both a rebirth and rocket blast into new spheres of empowerment for me. Bolder. Stronger. Better. Faster. All of the above with a heavy dose of even more lightness-ness.

The more I awaken, the less I seem to need to do to live everythign I desire to live.

Friday, October 2

All Eyes on Three

All the world’s a stage and we’re putting on the performance of a lifetime. 

I figure five sleepless nights is good cause to revive this old blog. I have every intention of writing frequently here, since writing is one of my many trusted mirrors that lets me look at myself in a way I understand best. But that intention floats into nothingness somewhere between the full time job, commitment to produce a book every year and life in general. It’s always there in the background though – this thought that says “I really want to post a blog…”

Something about the rare full moon last weekend brought with it some energy that my conscious mind hasn’t caught up to yet. Ever since July 2015 hit my life has been unfolding like a dream, an even more vivid dream than one that brought me many moments of magic. Only now I’m not longer the passive observer I once was watching a movie from some un-locatable space inside myself. Now, this cycle, this round, this go-about I’m right at the front of the surf board, not only riding each dip and rise of the currents painting my moments but quietly directing the movie itself. I’m mixing metaphors to keep myself from saying anything while at the same time bringing two worlds to collide in front of my eyes. Two beautiful, very beautiful worlds – three if I factor in the years in between them and paint a face I only now see as the mid-point reflection of everything I’m waking up to.

Somewhere some how this is as meaningful as it is meaningless. 

One, one was magnificent. Beautiful, epic, tittering myself on that edge between sanity and complete loss of all my edges. I reached for something so big, at least it seemed that way at the time, that I learned how to raise the earth up and above to propel me into new levels of understanding…everything. I made magic, beautiful inexplicable magic. Bending trees, raining rainbows and riding on the neck of shooting stars. One taught me how to be One in a world that denied oneness but only on the surface. One leaned in and whispered to me about my eternal luminous-ness, a light so bright and a sound so cosmic that it broke the rules of time and space and wove a show fit for a celestial audience. All the world was our stage.

Two, that mid-point was a lesson in individuating, in noticing the merged self and learning how to not be swallowed up to the point of disappearance. We’re not here to disappear. We’re here to learn to stand in all the states of being, the one, the other and the whole without losing any one of the numberless perspectives each state presents. Each is valid, worthy and must be embodied fully. A balanced interchange requires balanced players, players capable of standing in all shoes without losing grip on their individuality within the underlying thread of oneness - to forget yourself is to forget a part of the whole. To lose yourself is to lose a part of the whole. An impossibility exercised only because you haven't learned how to be fully you - fully individual and simultaneously One. Two was about emerging from oneness and dissolving into oneness intact. 

Three, I don’t yet know everything about three but I know it’s as epic and beautiful as anything I could have ever dreamed would come to me. Three I suspect is about a trinity – learning to create self and other out of the wholeness that always contains us – learning to allow self and other in the wholeness, to contribute consciously only that which is bright and beautiful. Three is about embracing the destruction of boundaries and elevation of independence – contradictory you would think these are but in dissolving self and other, and resolving to set both free to completely be totally self and totally other something reveals itself – an indestructible core for which there are no words. 

We don’t create relationships…if we pay attention enough we’ll learn to notice how it’s the living entity that is the relationship, that is the living intelligent force field that creates the you and me out of itself. 

Three is not about you as One. 
Three is not about me as ‘two’. 

Three is about noticing that primary unseen ooze that forms itself as you and me.  Three is not about awareness of self or awareness of other. Three is about the space out of which self and other emerge.

Monday, July 20

The Black Eyed Peas - Yesterday

This is now my 2015 summer jam featuring all the jams that were the soundtrack of my youth!

Monday, June 8

The day I realized my dreams are living me

For as long as I can remember I have loved achievement - that feeling of accomplishing something you set out to accomplish. Now I didn't always understand what that feeling was about, what the benefit of feeling that feeling really entailed, but I knew I fed on it. Whether it was managing or running groups and teams in high school, or taking on challenging work roles in my various professional adventures, or deciding I was going to write a book every year and have my own business, there's always been this undercurrent of loving the process of producing something new or at least something that's new to me.

I'm addicted to the feeling of achievement, which I recognize as being a part of the creative process, a driving force that fuels and mobilizes you into realizing whatever it is you've set out to realize. That drive for achievement is a resource that connects you to so much more than you can grasp or realize from the mere absorption of these words.


This is the formula you move through and every phase of it is worth the internal activity that it comes with.  All of it is worth consuming because the end of I HAVE DONE IT brings you to the beginning of a new I CAN DO IT.

I think we all come into the world with some core passions, and the moment we mobilize ourselves toward living these passions, these passions themselves start living us. Meaning we set out to actualize them and they in turn form themselves into circumstance and situations beyond our imaginings. You get back what you put out, only when you get it back it's magnified manifold and represented in a beautifully timed and orchestrated masterpiece that you forget that you were the point of ignition for this work of living art that has now become your "right now".

Today, June 8th, was a moment of such recognition - where I faced the living reflection of what I've been dreaming of, where I faced myself as a Universe and as a person. It was beyond magic and miracles. It was something that left me electrified and speechless. It is my life right now.

And I'm so high as a kite about it and ready for the cycle of creation to recycle into a new spin of living the life of my dreams while being lived by them too.

Tuesday, April 28

Waking up to Harris

What is this feeling? Is it Bliss? Is it Nothing?

There's a point you reach or maybe you've always been at it but didn't know because you were distracted by the shininess of your own thoughts...

Anyway, there's a point of total and utter quietness you reach when you keep letting go of the idea that you are you. It's magic and brilliant to repeatedly watch yourself form and dissolve in the field of your own awareness.

I just finished Sam Harris' "Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion" and loved the angle he presented around awakening. Waking up from the trance of being a "me" of any kind is taught and re-taught in countless cultures, but in some of them there's a condition attached to that dissolution of the "false self" as though it's something you have to earn or will be granted only if you do a series of ritualistic exercises.

I love that we're at a point where we have the neurological data to illustrate this functional dysfunction in perception that arises from the way thought happens, and that there is an accessible universality to debunking the funk of your own way of perceiving the world. It doesn't have anything to do with religion, or rituals - it's about understanding how everything you take yourself to be works. No dogma. No condition. Just discovery.

It's Bliss.
It's Nothing.
It's a feeling that belongs to no one.

Monday, February 9

The Magic Work Bus

You know what happens when a “not in service” bus stops for you, the driver opens the doors and says “ wanna take a chance”, and you climb on? You get to work 30min early on a day you should be running late because buses are on a weekend schedule.

Wink received Universe, wink gratefully received!

Baby Smiles as Meditation

You know when you're having a frazzled day and something pops up in your face to get you to slow down, get back to earth, and just remem...