Saturday, February 23

I'm A Director

It was sometime around the time I decided to drop out of graduate school. I had been reading Eckhart's A New Earth for the second time and was in This space I often expand into when I'm contemplative. I passingly thought, "I wonder what my life's purpose is."

That same day my roommate and I had a movie date - I'd known her for years, since junior high school and was renting the second bedroom of her condo in Toronto from her. Because she worked shifts at varied hours, and because I was likely going to be leaving the city, we had decided on seeing Happy Feet, just the two of us.  We were both completely in love with the idea of penguins that sing and dance - singing and dancing was a big part of our group of friends.

We got into the subway station. I went through the gate first. And just as she was about to go through, the gate stopped working. And everything slowed down. Literally. It was as if time and space had warped and I stood there near a pillar in the underground metro station while person after person stopped and asked me for direction. It was very weird, like I was the only person standing there who could be asked for direction. I stood there pointing this way, and that way, and up the stairs and toward the exit over and over again. Meanwhile, the line had formed at the entry gate and people were now coming in via the person booth. My friend walked up to me and said "what was that, that was weird". Time and space returned to their normal speed and I walked through the rest of my day more aware of my purpose in the world.

I recognize that what we contemplate is what we create a template of consciousness around. Whatever we ask, we are participants in the answers we receive, and sometimes it is blatant how grand this whole design really is. You have to pay attention to the questions you are asking, because you're constantly asking questions. The answers always show up with a loudness  that is to the degree of attention you've put into the question. Ask attentively and the answer will be loud and clear.

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