It was sometime around the time I decided to drop out of graduate school. I had been reading Eckhart's A New Earth for the second time and was in This space I often expand into when I'm contemplative. I passingly thought, " I wonder what my life's purpose is ." That same day my roommate and I had a movie date - I'd known her for years, since junior high school and was renting the second bedroom of her condo in Toronto from her. Because she worked shifts at varied hours, and because I was likely going to be leaving the city, we had decided on seeing Happy Feet, just the two of us. We were both completely in love with the idea of penguins that sing and dance - singing and dancing was a big part of our group of friends. We got into the subway station. I went through the gate first. And just as she was about to go through, the gate stopped working. And everything slowed down. Literally. It was as if time and space had warped and I stood there near a pillar in
I wonder what happens. I keep trying to go back to sleep but something keeps poking and prodding at me and all I feel like is an angry grizzly bear who is a couple of galaxies tall and a few universes wide. I don't know what all these jolts of electricity amount to, but I sure am excited to find out. The flow comes in and I feel like I can run a few times around the whole planet. I'm getting much more energy for the effort. It's as though God stopped drawing me in ice patterns and has now started using fire to paint my portrait. Or maybe he's using neon colors instead of invisible ink. Don't mind the burns. Don't mind the brightness. It all amounts to dreams fulfilled in the end. This was always going to be a good show.
Once upon a time, I drove down winding roads into a little town called Killington Vermont and met a girl named Jessica who was born on the leap year of February and at the time lived on the east end avenue at 63. I always like to think of her in exactly the thread of detailing she showed up in 'cause it adds sparkle to the marvelous painting that this entire life is. We became instant friends and she's even the first love-face to gift me with rainbow knee-high toe socks. Love is rad. Has it really been 5 years?! And today I am so over the top happy and proud and in ecstasy about her bus adventure of standing up for herself and owning the space she occupies and the ground on which she stands that I had to immortalize the EPIC feeling that's just flooding my being. If every being on the planet spoke up and spoke out, if every being on the planet stood up and stood out, my what a world this would be. Good God may we all breathe fire and send out a thunderous roar whe
I knew nothing about Valentines day when I first moved to North America. There was no such thing in my culture, so I was beyond stoked at this expressiveness of love, friendship, and togetherness when a bunch of my 5th grade classmates came flooding into my world with little cute cards and candy my first year on this side of the pond. And at this point in my life, anything to do with cultivating love awareness whether directed inwardly at the love of self or outwardly toward an apparent other, is a blessing no matter how it is expressed. Some odd thoughts on Valentine's Day by Jean Houston "Who is your double in the extended realms of the Soul? For whom are you here as the asymmetrical partner, the exotype of the archetype? Who or what is it that is yearning for you, calling to you, the Beloved you are always trying to remember?" The remembrance, discovery and deve lopment of this union enables the emergent creative forms of the depth world, the world of
It's been a weird stretch of moments of late. I keep hitting my head, literally. I flung myself off the edge of the bed and ended up flipping head first onto the floor. WTF. I underestimated how close to the edge I was sitting so when I leaned back to get something, boom-smack-thump. My dog ran out of the bedroom freaked out because of how all of a sudden I went from sitting and doing arts and crafts to cirque du soleil-ing myself onto the floor. I laid there until the dizziness went away and was just like...umm. Funny thing then is that my headache went away. But it happened again only this time I ran my head into someone's arm. I normally wouldn't care except for the repeated after-effect on my head and vision. Dear self. Get it together. There are better healthier ways to enter into altered states of consciousness or cure headaches. I would much rather opt out for a nice sit down meditation or energy session to reach whatever I need to reach than flinging my head int
The whole drift of my education goes to persuade me that the world of our present consciousness is only one out of many worlds of consciousness that exist . - William James Nothing is ever as it seems.
It's Saturday night and I feel so light Dropped in my heart and I took to flight Right over to you And I'm coming through Time stands still as you feel me Wrapped in the colors of our destiny I'm all you've known I'm all you've seen From yesterday and all eternity And here we are both Floating out in the atmosphere I'm sitting here and you're lying there Working out this rendez vous Not knowing if we're coming through Yeah, you're coming through We let go of the memory That told us absence was a reality Now all we know is our inseparability And now we see we're both right Here It's a lot of laughter and a lot of awe A little bit of crying and a little bit of sighing 'Cause finally, finally we are right Here Finally, oh finally, w're both so clear ~ Kidest Aum Feb.09 2013
If there's anything I've come to recognize in more ways than I can explain, it's that we're stronger together. What pulses, what moves me, what emerges and stirs, and the levels I reach within myself are deeper and higher, wider and brighter. And the reflections that come are louder, bolder, and more beautifully colorful than anything I could ever imagine. That's all the evidence I need to know how perfect whatever comes next is and will be. I am fearless. And I am ready for it. If I am to step, I'll step up with Grace. If I am to leap, then I will leap in bounds. Whatever it takes and whatever's at stake, I'll meet You all the way. Not just halfway. This dream is more than worth everything I am.
That's what I feel like today. Like I could power a light-bulb. Or even a small town. Don't ask questions. There are no references for this. No labels to put on it. No names to give it. No conditions to impose upon it. This is What Is. Be. In the zap and sting of a Great Love. This is what this love looks like.
Do you ever wonder why it is we leap toward some things and inch only little by little into other's? I find myself to be a mixture of recklessness and cautiousness. I don't so much leap into some things as I hop into them like a three year old who has just figured out how to play hopscotch...wobbly and slow. I figure if an alien ship came tomorrow with a friendly alien and said "hey want to come see my home planet", as much as I like to think I'm adventurous, I'll probably ask him to draw me a map of his home planet in great detail, then send me pictures, and then arrange to have an intergalactic skype session or two first. I like steps. Life has always been gentle with me, every situation that aims to help me grow seems to be wrapped in comfort, love, and nurturing energy - like the whole entire universe is whispering to me "it's okay if you can't do this yet, go ahead and try, and if you don't want to we'll try it again tomorrow.&quo
I am not really sure what made it come about but I had a strong inkling to create a new personal twitter account that's not related to my coaching/empowerment endeavors. It's kind of funny but I never really felt like using @kidestom for anything other than inspiration, motivation, metaphysical poking and prodding of the concepts we entertain. So @mskidest was born for all other in the moment brainfarts and brain thoughts I feel like sharing - a place to be my personal self without having to be wise, contained, focused or anything else. Everything from the erratic neurotic randomness that goes on in my head to the wide eyed tranced-out happy stoked-ness for life will, I imagine, make it on that page. I love words. I don't seem to refuse the opportunity to keep plastering them everywhere! I want to blog about my dreams of late, they've been utterly romantic and warming. And yet the words right now have not fully formed, so I'll leave it at this: I love this love th
After my body pretended to be on a cleanse (even though I wasn't), I've written pages, posted a new post on my website, created more items for my zazzle store, and uploaded a new video to youtube all within a span of about a day and a half. Peculiar ain't it, how things work?