Monday, January 28

Going Growing Glowing Up

"When the woman has found the superior world, the man must not expect her personal love unless he also goes up to live in the same world. It is simply fair that he should do so. The woman who lives in a small world must not expect the love of a man who lives in a great world. He would lose much of his greatness if he should give his personal love to such a woman.
The tendency of all life is onward and upward. Therefore, to ask anything to come down is to violate the very purpose of existence. If we wish to be with the higher, the greater and the superior, we must change ourselves and become higher, greater and superior; and this we all can do." - Christian D Larsen
This is what I've lived, and when I read what I've lived through the words on pages, I take second notice in the lesson. I watched myself easily turn away from the pull of a sweet heart. It was an instant "no I'm not interested" - not only because I already feel myself spiritually coupled with my equal but also because I'm firmly choosing what I will and will not walk into now, consciously aware that not every space can support the reach of my internal heights.  Sweet hearts are everywhere but they are not necessarily expressing from spaces that will allow you to remain in your greatness and grow and glow in that greatness.

If it takes too much of yourself to make it work, if it asks for more of you to be focused in it than in the greater world, then it is not a meeting of equal spaces. To be of equal weight spiritually, energetically, means you are working or sourcing out of the same spaces of consciousness - you are standing on the same spiritual ground. And what I've learned is that we are not all working out of the same spaces of consciousness. And that's okay but when it comes to personal love relationships, it's that much more important to pay attention to what you're going to plug into. Imbalance of any kind where you feel the relating is taking more from you, or is sourcing from you, is an indicator of your leaving your space or "coming down" to reach your love. Sometimes we go into something because it's convenient, familiar, right next to us not really evaluating how much of ourselves can actually fit in that meeting, relating, loving, and how much the relationship is going to rely on us as its source of power.

What I see now is that a relationship is or can be sourced by the greatness in us both - that the light we are awake to in our being needs to be similar or equal, that we are showing up as wholes sourced by our inner source rather than looking to each other for power, support, balance and so on. There is a certain degree of sharing where we can share, and love, and express in the mutuality of our togetherness - but that togetherness is balanced and supported by our own connections to our Self, our Greater Presence. Any tendency to mistaken that sharing as the source of our being, any tendency to mistaken the relationship as the source of anything will create imbalance. It's the difference between me looking to the God-Verse in me and him looking to God-Verse in him for all things, all answers, everything, and me looking to him and him looking to me for those things. What we are sourcing from determines just how much we access and where we access it from.

I once stepped into the dance with a guy and for months felt like I was walking around a cloud of darkness half suffocating in the congested space and half determined to make it work. Make it work? I look back at it in gratitude now awake to the realization that's so beautifully illustrated in the quote above. Although love and loving are one, although higher, greater, superior are ultimately meaningless, in the expressive dance of diversity in our waking world, I have found you have to choose what you will and will not walk into, what you will and will not enter into relationship with.

I choose that relating with the being who is my equal on the spiritual scales of self awareness. I choose that relating that reveals and supports the greatness in us both. I choose that relating that awakens us to the power of Now and the spaciousness of Here. I choose that relating that is in service of a greater expression.

You can't diminish yourself enough to make anything work. In the end, all you end up doing is giving up the greatness you had so worked to move into, embody, and express for the sake of "making it work." In the waking world, not every space you walk into is a space made for you - not every shoe fits right, not every size fits well, not every color compliments. While on the one hand all is done by you and through you, on the other hand the diversity of that doing is something you have to consciously discriminate and evaluate.

Is this space before me one that takes me higher into myself, one that calls to the Infinite within me, one that fuels the 'never-coming-down' fire of my expansiveness, or one that asks me to come down from my Self?

You have to be inquisitive in the steps you take and unapologetic for what you graciously rule out as not for you.

I know where my Home is, and I know now that the things you want to step into are the things that...take you up, grow you up, glow you up.

No need to settle for anything less than the limitless. "Good enough" won't do.

Hand in hand we'll fly away for He and I are of the same and in the same greater, higher, superior world. If such a thing couldn't at all be described, you'll still know it all inside your heart.

I once had a lady come up to me after I gave a talk on 'unleashing your creative power' and say "there's a man that's always standing beside you." She was very adamant about the presence of this imaginary man who stands beside me and serious in how she just had to tell me about him. Funny how she could see him even before I could really feel him. At the time I just  nodded and smiled like I do when people extend their hallucinatory observations. Now I realize that yes, my equal, soulmate, other whole, or whatever definitions you want to give to him has always been Here beside me, even now unseen as he may be to my physical eyes. My disinterest for unbecoming spaces is manifold and probably also due to the fact that I feel his realness now. And for all the doors that opens and closes, I am eternally grateful.

Thanks dude! I will keep licking the apparently empty space next to me until you place your face into it and your hand in my hands.

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