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Showing posts from 2013

Light my fire 2014

I have to say the year 2013 was definitely a year of "ermahgerd is this my life" - in addition to being introduced to the crazy world of memes (the side effect of working with tech savvy funny pants), I feel like I've catapulted into a new level of achievement not only in my own ahead but in my real world too. I don't think I've ever mentally and physically pushed myself before like this - stretching to the edge of what I know and who I am and flinging myself off of a few metaphorical cliffs. It's been amazing! This is the good shit right here - this whole pushing yourself and rolling yourself forward into a life of constant and never ending improvement. And push you must. I'm not a fan of forcing yourself into anything, but I'm definitely a cheerleader for challenging yourself into new avenues of expression and mastery. What am I here for if not to master my own being, mind, body, and soul? To know people is wisdom, but to know yourself is en

I Love Where I Work

I love where I a lot. In addition to being one of the coolest most chillest environments I've ever been in, on statutory holidays fun things happen. Like on Christmas eve, we had all the Star Wars episodes playing on two big screens all day so that staff had a leisurely atmosphere. Today, being boxing day, we have Lord of the Rings playing creating the same effect. I'm grateful for a lot of things in my life, and I feel it every day. This just adds chocolate sprinkles to the already delicious cake that is my world.   MMM MMM Awesome!

We were driving way too slow

I wrote and published two books this year. I did. I had set the goal of doing three at the beginning of the year. Everyone I've mentioned that to has looked at me like I was crazy. I was. Having put two full books out I've decided to have a one project a year goal now so that I can give that project my heart and soul without feeling like I'm in a self created pressure cooker. Why am I using my iPad to write this? Cray cray... that's my vision now. To focus on one book and bring that to life. Heavens know I'm never going to run out of words...and it seems I'll never run out of people who want to dance with my words. All and all 2013 has been incredible. It's for sure been my most productive year. From working two jobs, coaching clients, and writing two books, I upgraded to a kick ass full time job because I got promoted, grew my coaching practice, collaborated on a kickass article on energy medicine, and even won an award for being a

Early Bird Ping Pong Thoughts

I'll never fail you at this game. It's 12:55AM and I can't go back to sleep. Of all the thoughts that start up, this is the one that wins. I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Today. No. It's this that takes over my moonlit sleep time. This is my favorite game to play. What can I say? What's that one thing in your life that you keep coming back to? For me, it's this - the romance of it, the magic of it, the possibility of it, the it's-in-my-wildest-dreams of it. It's that one thing that's just a part of who and what I am. I'm more than married to it. Like a mirror that never fails to show me my reflection, no matter what does or does not go on, this is that thing that just can't be put down, dropped, put aside. It goes where I go, like a living shadow. Because in the grandest sense, it is what I am. And I know, I'm never alone in my thoughts of this.

Life of a scholar

There's something about listening to classical music while writing on the nature of consciousness that transports me into feeling like I'm in some giant cathedral of a library, sitting on an elevated platfrom by a giant desk with volumes of books tossed around in every direction. I'm actually just at a desk in front of a computer...but the feeling is still extraordinary.

Holograms of the Strange Actress

It's that same old song sung through a different mouth and I'm wondering when you're going to realize the web you'd trapped yourself in. I wonder how long it'll take you to break this record you have repeating. Your girlfriend says she's had enough, she can't take it, can't do it no more. She's getting off this roller-coaster ride bending herself in half over all the dreams she gave up for you. You try to play the song again and all it says is...failed to load. You oughtta be grateful for that. Because when the old song won't play no more, is when you'll force yourself to live something new. The only habit left to break is the habit of being that old you. You know the one, the one that sought this song out, picked it out of a thousand faces, and convinced himself this was it. It's nice to see you breaking's nice to see you breaking through. I'm swinging my legs sitting on a beam of a broken down floating ca

To Your Knees

Let's call Her Dante's mistress And not his muse Let's see through Her mystery Riding into brown eyes with black irisis Taking a trip deep into The spaces of Space From which she hails No man can father his creativity Without first fixing himself to some muse Tucked under the arms of an inspired man Is always Her From folklore to whore to mistress to muse She has many forms none of which have to do With the physical guises that she assumes She is nature and woman and lover and man She is the subject of a relentless obsession A provocative hallucination Causing a collision of your own senses Born for the sole purpose of bringing Every creative heart to its knees Let's not call her Dante's mistress Let's call her his Divine Undoing (c) Kidest M. 2013

We Are Sound

We are only patterns of sound doing the dance of sacred form, are we not?

Hello Marco

Thrice in the span of a single day did I hear the name Marco Three different stories speaking of the same name I like to pay attention And when the strings of life dance together to knit me a new sweater I think to myself...I can't wait to try this new garment on Marco Marco Marco Now that is a beautiful name that I'll never tire of speaking.

The Human Technology

Our evolutionary potential excites me. I imagine that the technologies that will really blow our minds away are the internal ones - when we begin to cultivate our ability to create new, never before imagined, emotions and states, new frequency ranges of feeling, perceiving, and experiencing through the nervous system, we will begin to understand the magic of being human. Can you imagine discovering a new emotion? A new neurochemical sequence that communicates something beyond the happiness spectrum? More cerebral centers to evolve or activate. More bundled nerves, thinking centers, to discover in the body. More understanding of the infinite to unfold.

Don't Deny the Animal

There is a great marriage all around me of animal and spirit of chaos and structure of form and the force that plays it Nature is sex and Sex is Spirit Now with open eyes I look and all I see is what's looking through the lustful eyes of a beast we have our concepts and our stories we have our morality and our boundaries we have arbitrary lines of do's and do nots and in it all we've forgotten that there is no refining the animal within where boundaries are not where forms run free is a world where the animal is only a mask worn by an otherworldly light don't deny the animal the animal is Me (c) Kidest M., 2013

My Live As A Happy Camper

Ever wonder where our over used phrases come from? Happy Camper I use that  one a lot, even though going out into the woods and sleeping on jagged rocks rarely ever appeals to me. The only type of "camping" I've done and will do is one's in which there is a cottage by a lake with beds and a toilet - and of course good company. I love being in the woods and in nature, but not exposed to the bugs and wiggly things and having to sleep on hard ground while having to work to keep warm, build fires and the like. Granted I do like sitting around a nice bonfire by the beach sippin on all the good foreign beer my heart adores. Moral of my post? There isn't one. I  was just reflecting on how content I feel in my bubble, how much I feel like "a happy camper" when my brain farts led me down the road of this train of thought about camping and being happy. Life is good - I look around me at what unfolds and how it unfolds and I can't help but remain in w

Forever In Your Heart

I never left I kept telling you I crawled into your skin And became one with you I'm not just yours I'm only ever you Where ever you go There I am too I came freely into your sight To remind you that you are the light Forever lit, I am with you There's nothing for me to leave on for you I never left I keep telling you We crawled, we walked We shred the shackles around the heart And now we glide side by side You are the dream I live inside You are the flight into new heights You're not standing alone anymore You are flying inside the love you adore We don't have to hold anything We don't have to remember We are forever here in this present As lover and beloved Always one down in the heart Darling, I'm forever in your heart I'll never leave I'll always remind you ~ (c) 2013 Kidest M.

Wonder Not Wander

I realized something recently - I stopped searching "out there" for things, for everything. I caught myself having interest only in the magic of being and having completely got over the wandering into thoughts of "what's happening over there." This to me is the beginning of trusting life completely, trusting that come what may and whatever comes this way, it is all so absolutely perfect that you can't help but just know that life is on your side, that it is life that's got your back. The things that come and the things that don't come are blessings equally, and for as long as you keep yourself in alignment with the higher energies of the unseen realms, your waking world unfolds in ways to continue fueling the journey of your heart. It feels freeing to throw away your cares, your wanderings, your what if's, in favor of this knowing that all is well, all was well, and all will be well. You can know that, you know? You can feel into that reality t

Immortal Fame

Entertainment is a funny culture to me - and not at all the arts and crafts of movies, the genius and coordination that goes into filming a story or putting on a great concert - the culture I'm writing about is all the fan-dom pandemonium that surrounds movies, their actors, musicians and their music. There's true appreciation and then there is freak-me-out crazy obsession. It's a very strange range of human behavior to witness in action. I've been physically present watching someone totally flip out because someone "famous" was in their sight. And for as much as I love observing, decoding, and understanding human behavior, this part of the reaction to someone "famous" is one that still leaves me to scratch my head. Like what is that person seeing in that moment? How are they perceiving this person and translating it in their minds eye? Because in those moments, and there have been enough for me to repeatedly study this, what I see and what that pe

Catch A Feeling

I want to grab this feeling and write it down. Today is all about laughter - the kind where you throw your head back, open wide and let it out loudly from deep within your belly. Laughing without reservation with the volume set to high - 'cause this is when we're high. This is when you and I are the real you and I, this is when we find ourselves back to the real dance of being what we really are. The look, the sound, the feel of laughter...this is us. And thank god for that.

Twirling Maddness

I feel like putting on a flowy girly long dress, walking into the middle of a grassy field and twirling endlessly while my skirt skirts itself like the song of a sufi dancer. That's what I feel like today. That's what I used to do when I was six or seven years old. I've always loved spinning, twirling, getting dizzy. I'd put on one of the dresses that belonged to my mom, short on her, dragging on me, then I'd walk to the center of our gated neighborhood and spin myself, with no one around, with nothing else stirring around me but that feeling. That's what I feel like doing today. 'Cause it's good. Starting from the flustered hello's of the tattooed young man to the way my whole entire day has unfolded, that's what I feel called to do. Funny thing though, I don't have a long girly dress to twirl in. I need to get on that like stat!

On Magic and Books

Sometimes I forget just how magical I am. I really forget. I don't know why. Because it's just a fact of my existence. I am magical. Not unlike the mythical unicorns and faeries of old tales. I'm not convinced that they are tales anyway but that's a whole other thing. But then I'm reminded of it. Like I'll have a thought in some place and forget about it, I'll wish a wish, like a whimsical passing sigh-inducing kind of feeling that passes on, and I move on. And then somehow some way I'll end up back in that spot I made that wish, I felt that feeling, and lo and behold it has manifested into something magical, real, and tangible. It's like I'm this magical gardener who plants with thoughts and consumes with her senses the forms those thoughts have brought to life. I like it. I like it a whole lot. I have it in my heart to keep writing about that. I'm also reading a lot. I don't know what brought it on. And not like the non-fiction labo


Days like today say we're on the right track. Equal treatment, equal offering, equal support, equal opportunity for every being on the planet is not something that should ever be up for debate.

Unsent Letters

I'm dreaming of the South of France and Northern Italy. I'm dreaming of hopping flights to end up in scenes right out of my mind movie. I'm dreaming. I'm breathing. I'm living in between worlds that have gone And worlds that are coming. I'm seeing. You. Sometimes it feels like a wormhole of some kind had swallowed me and then has spit me back out. That's when I realize I wasn't here but now I am. It's a strange feeling, to go for days and days and wake up one morning feeling like...oh hey, I'm here. Where have I been? Maybe we all travel through time and space and universes as unseen parts of ourselves take on missions that are greater than our little minds can understand. So we feel partially here and partially somewhere that our conscious minds don't understand. And when these missionary parts of ourselves return, we feel like our whole selves again. Perhaps? I'm going to stop promising I'll stay in touch with everyone

Some Things Just Can't Be Written Off

Life is good. And quiet right now. It's always like this before things bubble up again and it gets even better. This is my birthday month after all. My days are spent working through my various commitments - jobs, clients, books, dog, exercise. That's the gist of what fills up my right now coloring book. That and text messaging with family. Things bubble and I get the usual preview of things to come, inklings of passing thoughts in someone else's mind, and I shrug to myself hoping my telepathic replies reach the intended destination as my relied upon words through this blog are few and far between. That and the dream-scapade are my chosen platforms of play and communication. Expect me there and you'll find lots more info than in this little corner of the internet. I get a lot done when the body appears to sleep. And I'm assured that it is a much more vivid and lifelike delivery system than our electronic world currently offers us. I've been off the int

Clean Energy, Clean Planet

We're going in the right direction: Germany has the world's first algae-powered building. The largest wind farm on the planet now sits in the southern hemisphere. France is building a completely solar-powered sports stadium scheduled to open in 2015. Algae powered building in Germany   Solar powered sports stadium (concept) - France

Will you...prancercise with me?

This. This just makes me happy. I now envision a world of happy prancercisers every where. Definitely one of my favorite humans on the planet.

Licking SoulMates

Sometimes I meet people and sitting across from them looking into their eyes, glistening maybe from happiness or maybe from cannabis, hearing the details in their names or birthdays and jobs or where they've moved here from, I realize with deep giddiness just what the moment is. Something that will only ever be significant to me. Something that will only ever hold meaning for me and the particular sequence of moments I have had up until this moment where I'm sitting here and they're sitting there and we're looking, laughing, and sharing. And I want to reach across the table and lick this virtual stranger's face as my heart bubbles up with joy for what they represent. But I don't. Because for all intents and purposes that is (in)appropriate behavior reserved only for the closest of friends. *lick*

I stop the world to blog

At times my blog feels like a body. I want to color it up. Paint its toes. Lotion up its elbows. And scrape off the dried eye goo from its eyes. I'm constantly posting. In so many angles both seen and unseen. Sharing is my nature and when I come to share and I look at my blog or whatever other else, and it just doesn't look like what I know it to changes. It doesn't reflect the frequency of my own changes but it changes  It changes in tone. In focus. In content. In color. In appearance. In readership. The coolest thing over the years has been who reads these words. I don't know all of them. I know the friends who use it to stay in the loop of my shenanigans  since I still play the part of the busy i-hate-using-the-phone person. I'm grateful for them and love them. And then there are the rest of the eyes I may or may not ever get to meet. They are plastered around the globe from Beijing to Kazakhstan to Jaimaca. I don't know how they find me

Queen of the Jungle

This one's for all the Queens of the Jungle and the way they know how to wear the mom's voice.  Happy Mother's Day!

Dangling Side Ways

I've been dangling my feet sitting on the tiny point of right now and right here. I feel like I am a billion light years above the ground Smiling brightly and looking down And all I keep feeling while reeling in the magic of being Is how ecstatic I am to be Here

The Fourth Act

Laundry sits fresh off the clothes hanger in my living room and the Buddha stares at me with his eyes closed. I don't know where the past few days have gone, or where I've been (have I been?), I only know that it is all backwards now. This is the most important change I've ever made. It feels like I've shaved thirty two years off my back. My apartment and everything in it needs a redo. My belly needs emptying. And I need to get myself to a desk before everything changes for the best.

I am like Prozac

I got my 6 month review at my tech job. It was more like a high-five fest than anything else. My supervisor's unofficial comment was that I was like prozac for the environment. I just sat in my chair giggling and feeling all sorts of the warm fuzzies. That whole morning felt like an ocean of playfulness and happiness. I'm surrounded by people who can reflect that zing for life right back to me, and that just works to make the space around me that much more fun and infused with a kind of uncapped joy. I don't try to be positive or work to look on the bright side of things. The world to me is a magical place, all I see is brightness, all I see is potential, all I see this something I can't for the life of me find all the words to describe - and if you notice it when you see me, or you feel uplifted, or you feel the happiness, it's THAT, that's what I'm looking at and communing with most of my moments - what touches you in those moments is this Thing that I&#

Follwing the Scent...of Jasmine

My jasmine plant is starting to flower. What I love is the way the smallest flower can take over my senses. It reminded me of a house I walk by regularly on my breaks at work. I loved walking by it. And even more so once I learned the story of the man who lives there. One morning, as I was on my usual walk, a man was taking things out of a car parked at this Jasmine House, and putting them into his backpack. He greeted me joyfully. He kind of had that hippy gypsy like vibe with his bandena on his head and his Mountain Equipment Coop backpack. I smiled and said hello, and thanked him for making my morning walks that much more enjoyable because of his Jasmine. He corrected me and said that this wasn't his house. It belonged to his friend who lets him park his car there. He goes on to tell me that the owner of the house is an architect who built and designed the house to be environmentally friendly. My heart smiles. This was just the meeting I needed. That's when the solar

This HoneyMoon Phase

I completely forgot about this book until I was reminded of Don't Wake Me from this Dream. In the song is a line that says "this honeymoon phase, I hope it lasts forever, I hope these fuzzy feelings never fade" - well right around the time the song first got played I heard about Bruce Lipton's new book. It caught my attention only because it talked directly about the honeymoon phase. It's called the Honeymoon Effect: the Science of Creating Heaven on Earth. This was something I'd never thought about before. As much as I understand and teach that we have complete power in the states of being we move ourselves into, I hadn't yet thought about the possibility that in a relationship, we can create and maintain whatever states we desire, and that we often unconsciously do. No relationship pattern is imposed upon us - it is something we co-create, sustain, and cycle internally. How empowering is it to wake up to that? Funny how these things unfold, how

Vibrational Spa Dates

Every once and again I link up with my heart-sisters scattered across the planet, usually in the form of a skype group call. Who ever can make it makes it and we play catch up based on a theme one of us is inspired to explore. I had no intention of making it to this one as I'd be at work for the agreed upon time. Well lo and behold I got to go home early that day without any effort on my part. I'd forgotten about the call or anything else related to it. I came home and got myself a copy of Words, the movie with Bradley Cooper. I had the intention of watching it later in the day or in the week. I looked at the time and it's mid-day for me. Sweet, I have a whole afternoon to myself. My mom texts me right then. It's been a few weeks since we've touched base so she's waiting for me on Skype. So I get on Skype, which she adorably sometimes calls Skip, and there are messages about the group call. I look at the time and realize I will actually be home and can make

Speak for Me

There comes a point where you cease going to your projections for validation of any kind. That's a good point to find yourself standing on. What is a shadow? How can that ever be a true source of validation? You must look to the Unknown. Look deep into Its eyes and find the only Truth that rests beyond the world of mind. We are, in a lot of ways, taught to continually go "out there" for answers, for support, for connection, for acknowledgement. And while on a certain level connections are delicious and extensions of acknowledgment can reflect to you more than you expect, ultimately the primary source of true and complete satisfaction is entirely within. If you forget this, you will forever be leaving the source of deep inescapable bliss for shadows born of barren lands. Look not to the meaningless for answers. Always go back to the source. Between intuition and what you access when you are in meditation, whether walking or sitting, or simply being in your being, i

When's not to Love?

When everything you thought was fiction becomes a reality and everything you thought was reality becomes fiction That's when you know you have become who you were always meant to be. It makes me appreciate my destiny that much more. That a future love could have seen me as this before I saw myself. That a heart can know what it knows That a heart can accept what the mind had denied for so long And stay steady Thank you dear heart for knowing what you know I'm amazed and excited to wear this skin that's taken so many scenes to form itself as me Thank you life for putting me exactly where I'm meant to be It's not fantasy This is the real world This is where we were always meant to be.

Going the Distance

Ever wonder why it is we know what we know? I met with my personal trainer to go over how to do my set of workouts properly, and I'm still sore in very strange places. Firstly, I learned that I know nothing about the body and how it runs. I knew nothing about big muscles and small muscles and learned things that as I absorbed made a lot of sense to me. Most of my life I've been a mental acrobat. Ideas, thinking, writing, using my mind and being my mind come easily. My body? It takes some conscious paying attention to, in a way that I didn't always know how to be in it. I used to work out regularly in high school and I for the most part have been skinny most of my life. But that doesn't necessarily mean fitness.  Somewhere along the way I completely unlearned what I knew about fitness. And while I pay attention to what I eat because I'm vegetarian, I don't really pay attention to my level of fitness. That all came to light when I tried to do laps in the pool

Natural Beauty

Not Earth DAY, Earth LIFETIME

It makes more sense to treat the earth with respect and consciousness every single day that you are on it than on one arbitrary day every year. We have some really weird traditions. Turn off equipment, power, electricity you don't need every day. Reduce your waste and dependence on plastic every day. Recycle every day. Re-purpose everyday. Consume water consciously every day. All of it. Every. Day. You want to be fit? Then just have one day a year dedicated to good eating habits and exercise. You want to know more and learn more? Then just have one day a year dedicated to learning and knowing. You want to live your dreams? Then just have one day in the year dedicated to making them come true. Yeah, it sounds absurd when you put it that way right? Change comes when you make that change a lifestyle, a living practice, a way of being in the world.  It applies every which way you can look at it. 

Green Campaigning Grows!

More BC Greens commit to measuring their campaign Carbon Footprints! Jane Sterk (Leader - Victoria-Beacon Hill) Andrew Weaver (Deputy Leader, Oak Bay-Gordon Head) Adam Olsen (Saanich North - Gulf Islands) Carrie McLaren (Burnaby - North) Mayo McDonough (Nanaimo-North Cowichan) Spencer Malthouse (Victoria-Swan Lake) Kerry Davis (Cowichan Valley) Ian Gartshore (Nanaimo) Darwin Burns (Burnaby-Lougheed) Chris George (Shuswap) - and our first BC interior candidate, Thats 10 so far, and we're anticipating more over the next few days!

Do you love the Earth?

Living where I live, I get to wake up each day to a nature abundant environment. I am grateful for this and often find myself awe struck and my breath stolen by the beauty of this planet I get to be on. I often find myself saying - I love this planet, I love this earth, I love this home. Questions and conversations around "green" movements to me include creating awareness around this one thing - our awareness of our love for the earth. Do you love the Earth? Do you love being on this planet? From my observation, our love for our home isn't or doesn't seem to be at the forefront of our collective awareness. Many are so absorbed in the moment to moment minute details of human life, that this broader question of: "do I love being on this planet? Do I love this earth?" isn't a point of reflection. I feel it - I feel that if we were truly aware of how we feel about being on this planet, how we feel about the Earth, if we were taught to think and co

The Right Kind of Planet

RKOP - right kind of planet This is an idea that's brewing in my heart-mind right now, and has been for a little while. At first I thought I'd love to work for/with Jason on creating some sort of street team or group or forum where the conscious planeteers of our community could gather to heart-storm and brain-storm up solutions and points of action on how we can (continue to) contribute to and influence changes in support of reducing our footprints, supporting our local farms and establishments, and creating a culture of conscious consumption...having a co-creative space where we can acknowledge what we are doing and look to grow into what we could be doing. I know many of the people of the rkop community already consciously choose to be the change, and thought it would really create a growing collective of change makers. I was waiting to think about and feel into this consciousness that's been bubbling up inside of me, pushing it aside for a few months until I made co

Carbon Offsetting During Political Campaigns...Way to go Green Party BC

A few years back I got to work on a project that addressed carbon accounting, offsetting your impact, and learned a great deal about the impact we and everything we do has on the environment. It was eye opening and at the same time empowering to know that there are things we can put into action now. And for the first time EVER, members of the BC (my Canadian home province) Green Party will be purchasing offsets for their campaign's impact, greenhouse gas emissions, on the environment. This excites me. Progress looks like this - it is a start! A carbon neutral party will, I envision, evolve into a carbon neutral government - and that definitely gets my vote.

A Love So Great

It was so much more love than she’d ever felt that she didn’t know what she was feeling. It was being hugged from the inside, out. It was cellular love. It was a love so thorough, so complete, so wrapped through her that she thought she was having a heart attack! It was love that was so pervasive she didn’t know what to do with it. She couldn’t describe it, she couldn’t label it, she couldn’t contain it. It was bigger than she was consciously, and vibrationally, ready even to endure; a love so great she couldn’t quantify it or understand it. And in time, little by little by little, she and so many others of you have raised your vibration until you feel on a very constant basis that Love wrapping through you. -Abraham-Hicks-

Mystery, especially He

“Nothing you become will disappoint me;  I have no preconception that I'd like to see you be or do.  I have no desire to forsee you,  only to discover you.  You can't disappoint me”  ― Mary Haskell To presume to know you, to judge you by your words or actions or anything else visible in this world, is to forget that you will always be the beauty of a great mystery expressed.  And if what I have seen and discovered, if what I have witnessed up until this moment, is only the edge of the beauty that you are, then it is only gratitude I hold in my heart for what of yourself you share. Everything you are only draws me deeper into our embrace. There is nothing in you and there is nothing of you that leaves me with anything short of awe and wonder. You are the long awaited miracle in my world, the eternal answer to the songs in my heart.

Dear earth inhabitant...part 2

"I’m saying that there are many things about our culture – from the way we live and how society is run - that actually contribute to people being sick....The only way to live healthy in this culture is to be in it, but not of it"  - Dr. Mate   What will it take to tip the iceberg of unconsciousness toward consciousness? I went to a big store the other day only to see shopping cart after shopping cart being put into plastic bags. As far as I could see in all directions, I was the only person at the checkout line with my own reusable bags. I triple checked scanning the aisles on either side of me. It was such a weird moment. Really? We're still here? Come on. While I can understand the occasional "oh I forgot my bags" person in line, to see that many people just without hesitation walk out with six or seven plastic bags of items was weird - I thought I had seen progress but it may have all just been in my ima

Leaning into...disorder

Oh man, where do I even begin to write about the day that has made itself today? Lately, the words and I have been on break. After releasing my new book , it felt like my brain had committed itself to solely be interested in speaking and interacting with images. I could stare at pictures and engage and interact with images of all kinds but the moment I turned my eyes and mind toward words, blankness, void, total death of thought would come up. I took it as a sign that portions of my word-threading self had flown off into the deep to work on the next book. And then today happened. A total professional chaotic mess I was gifted to clean up. Cleaning up my own mess, I'm all over - cleaning up after someone else's total lack of organization however makes me want to break already broken things into tiny pieces of sand and then throw them into someone's eye. Okay, maybe it wasn't that big of a thing in the grand scheme of things, but for someone who is an organizational n

Love is Equal

Our Glass Elevator

It's so warm inside of here. And full of so much love. I can feel every drop. As we're going up. All we are is love.

I Am In


This Love Is On

I feel a great love brewing I feel it in my bones Where ever you are my heart There I am most at home I heard you but I didn't listen When you wrote about how you adored me I was looking but I didn't see it The love you were extending so freely You blew away my ego As all it kept saying was no And you elevated my heart In this love that's a work of art You brought me into being In this world we are dreaming I once felt so far away Traveling  galaxies, you brought me to stay You floor me with your telepathy And your heightened heart alchemy A reader of light so clear The beauty being, you were never not here You put on the hair I like Top it off with that hat Your eyes are lit with love And I'm all ready to start Do you feel like starting something? Do you feel like taking my hand? What was that thing you said About the ocean and the sand? I feel you in my breath I feel you in my chest I feel you in everything And in that I know I am


Oh, Hark

I wanna do it big like Oprah. Build schools in Africa Build some bridges and blur some lines All the while redefining open minds. I wanna stretch you out into the stars Leave a mark in your open heart. Remind you there is no dark When you're the light, oh hark Hark the songs the silence sings There are no binds, there are no stings You know the saying, let freedom ring... to be continued... (c) Kidest Mengistu, 2013

Love is...

Love is what fills you up of life while emptying you of all your wounds. That's why it stirs you and strips you at the same time. Scribbles from my journal.

I will see the world

I know that some way and some how I'll get to stand in all the places I dream of standing in, taking in the sights, and sounds, and energy of all that is great and here. And while this map shows the places that have history, structures, places that excite my heart, I think there's something for my heart in every inch of this beautiful world. Travel excites me. Adventure excites me. New experiences thrill me.

2013-03-05 Reading

One of my go to mirrors is cards and oracles. It's a way to just notice what maybe circling in my field, and I find so useful to bring to light those parts I may not be consciously aware of - and most often it accurately echoes exactly where my focus is.  For instance, right now I'm in the process of finishing up a book on success that I'm hoping to have available for readers in the next month. I just have a couple of the chapters left to tweak and wrap up, send to a few friends for feedback, and it'll be good to go. Success has been my focus for the past several months and sure enough, it's what's in my field and showing up in the cards. I am totally manifesting and being manifested by dreamy things - life is a good dream. Here's the spread for right now:   Card 1 (The World) : How you feel about yourself now   » You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arriv

Once Upon A Muse

once I was a muse now I am a friend then I will borrow a heart that I don't intend to return ~ Kidest  March, 2013 I think if what you're doing in your world always seems normal and sane and "just like you" to those that know you best, then you're not pushing out your boundaries of being enough, you're not growing yourself into new spheres of being and experience. I don't know how healthy a precedent it is to state that for myself but I recognize how many times I've heard "this isn't like you" or "Kid this is crazy" to know that those are the exact moments that moved me into bigger playing fields of being, of seeing, of feeling, of living. And I love that. It's not that I propose a life of recklessness, but more so occasions of it where you do what you don't expect yourself to do, you say what you don't expect yourself to say, you live what you don't expect yourself to live. There's actually

The Spotlights

oh man. i don't always understand the energy that pulses and moves. this is so new. one moment i'm washing my hair and watering my plants. and the next i'm standing in a surge of heat and focus that's coming through like like a thousand spotlights have just been turned onto you. i suspect it's the special effects of the dragon totem i've tapped into. the difference though? i dive into these surges and swirls, these spaces and movements. hands and legs and heart and mind. all in. and that part of it i love. even if the ringing in my ear gets louder and the push through feels like i'm ploughing through some non existent snow bank, i move into whatever moves with commitment. my motto seems to be 'fine, let's do this' but with almost a combatants attitude. no more hiding from power. no more shrinking from change. no more hiding behind the curtains of dream things made of nothing. and then i know i'm in the right flow when this is what

V-Log: Creativity

I'm A Director

It was sometime around the time I decided to drop out of graduate school. I had been reading Eckhart's A New Earth for the second time and was in This space I often expand into when I'm contemplative. I passingly thought, " I wonder what my life's purpose is ." That same day my roommate and I had a movie date - I'd known her for years, since junior high school and was renting the second bedroom of her condo in Toronto from her. Because she worked shifts at varied hours, and because I was likely going to be leaving the city, we had decided on seeing Happy Feet, just the two of us.  We were both completely in love with the idea of penguins that sing and dance - singing and dancing was a big part of our group of friends. We got into the subway station. I went through the gate first. And just as she was about to go through, the gate stopped working. And everything slowed down. Literally. It was as if time and space had warped and I stood there near a pillar in

When You Wake A Sleeping Giant

I wonder what happens. I keep trying to go back to sleep but something keeps poking and prodding at me and all I feel like is an angry grizzly bear who is a couple of galaxies tall and a few universes wide. I don't know what all these jolts of electricity amount to, but I sure am excited to find out. The flow comes in and I feel like I can run a few times around the whole planet. I'm getting much more energy for the effort. It's as though God stopped drawing me in ice patterns and has now started using fire to paint my portrait. Or maybe he's using neon colors instead of invisible ink. Don't mind the burns. Don't mind the brightness. It all amounts to dreams fulfilled in the end. This was always going to be a good show.

My Jessica from Brooklyn

Once upon a time, I drove down winding roads into a little town called Killington Vermont and met a girl named Jessica who was born on the leap year of February and at the time lived on the east end avenue at 63. I always like to think of her in exactly the thread of detailing she showed up in 'cause it adds sparkle to the marvelous painting that this entire life is. We became instant friends and she's even the first love-face to gift me with rainbow knee-high toe socks. Love is rad. Has it really been 5 years?! And today I am so over the top happy and proud and in ecstasy about her bus adventure of standing up for herself and owning the space she occupies and the ground on which she stands that I had to immortalize the EPIC feeling that's just flooding my being. If every being on the planet spoke up and spoke out, if every being on the planet stood up and stood out, my what a world this would be. Good God may we all breathe fire and send out a thunderous roar whe