Tuesday, March 20

Love Fills

There was a spike in the love meter in my life last week. Toward the end of my day, I felt my heart opening wide and ripples coursed through me like the waves of the sea. I felt like myself again.

I had gone to see a massage therapist the week prior and knew on first entry that I had not been present to myself for quite some time. I had gotten lost in my own mental spinning, giving hallucinations primacy and letting my state of being in presence fall to the background. I always recognize this state. I'm unfocussed. I imagine if you were looking at me as a painting on a wall, I'd show up blurry and without clear lines in those moments. And there I was, as my session went on laughing and re-connecting to who I am in my center.

She told me there was a lot of tension around my heart and all down my back. I knew this. It was the very reason I'd gone to see her. I felt the tension of where I was holding myself and had spun my own mind into knots everywhere. As I came undone on the table, I could see where I was holding myself and how I was holding myself. That was just the beginning.

It continued on from there - my return to my Self was inevitable as the crack of recognition opened and the light of my own being shone through the stories that had preoccupied me. I tore through my own illusions and laughed again. My own creations veil the ease, joy, and lightness that is always here right Now.

And then there it was, yet another shift in my own attention as I recognized how I had been spinning myself out of my own stage for characters invented in my own imagination. I laughed again as it dawned on me and as I stood in the presence of Love once again. I felt it all. I felt that love reach down deep into my bones. I felt it sound its sound in every atom of my being. I felt it all and I shivered and sighed and took deep breaths. And I walked into my moments feeling the glow of being my Self return.

All there is in the world is either the echoes of your own resistance or the echoes of your own openness. Where you are standing in the knowing of love all around, the world shows up glorious. Where you are standing in the resistance to love all around, the world shows up tense and dark and painful. That's all the echo ever is, in body, mind and world all you ever see is whether you are holding yourself open to the love or whether you are shutting yourself off.

As the chest cough and achy bones followed, I knew what undoing had brought them through.

How much love can you really stand in your life? Can you let it immerse you in its light and maintain your openness? That's the question we live answering in each and every moment. Giving all of yourself into the energy of love is all this moment is about.

Love doesn't hurt, resisting it does. Love fills the holes our resistance creates. Where we tear ourselves apart in resistance, love welds us back into wholeness. Love unties all the knots and washes us clean of all that tension creates within our being. Love fills.



Sunday, March 11

Om-elettes and Latte

Sometimes I forget how solitary I create myself to be. I'm at home in the quietness in myself, withdrawn, collected, at rest. It's when I'm out with friends, reconnecting, laughing and sharing that I remember that giggly part of myself that loves to play tag with the stars and slow dance with the sun in the brightness of daylight. I love play. I love laughter, I love the sparkles that dance like fireworks in the eyes of those in communion with me.

Omelettes from John's Place = GOOD
Re-connecting with old friends = GOOD
Sharing stories with my Matimba over tea = LOVELY

Feeling my heart dance from the connections = PRICELESS

Life is alive in me always ~


Saturday, March 10

I See You

I forget just how much I see and take in about everything and everyone around me until someone reveals something they want me to know, and I've already known it for some time either because of a dream or an insight or this inner thought-less knowing that just bubbles up when I look at them.

I don't see the usefulness of terms like clairvoyance and precognition anymore. Nor do I see the usefulness in believing that verbal disclosure is the way human beings get to know one another. From what I notice, we are constantly disclosing who we are through every thought that radiates outward, through every physical posture we hold, through every gaze we meet or avoid, through our every pore. We are an endless stream of bits and bites that is constantly communicating where we are, who we are, and where we are going.

There are no hidden motives or movements in consciousness. Everything is out in the open. Life is total transparency. It is the illusion of fragmentation and divided-ness that creates the filter that you have to try and make effort to be known, to be seen.

When you've learned to observe your own inner atmosphere, when you've gone inward to look at whatever self you are being, from that seat of observer-ship, the rest of the universe shows up naked - you see and read the movements of everything around you like an ancient seer who now holds the secret to all universes. Patterns show up and you know what they are communicating. Synchronicity rises and you know what it's pointing to. Information bubbles up within you seemingly out of the blue, and you know something that's about to happen in your world or to someone in your world. This is all normal when you recognize that you are having your being in a unified ocean of consciousness.

Everything is already known, your knowing that just depends on how much you open up and expand your consciousness.

Friday, March 2

Out in the Open

I kind of love the way it all makes sense when you just take a step back and look at everything one more time. Suddenly, it's like life has been whispering everything you needed to know to you since the very beginning.

And yet, it's only when you're really ready to receive what you've been asking for, when you've released all of your resistance to it, that the whole picture becomes clear to you.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you go in your mind as the very pieces you've been blocking out so the picture remained incomplete suddenly reveal themselves.

Words only reveal what's already been out in the open the whole entire time. Every answer is already in plain sight.

Turns out, sometimes you don't even need to say what you think you need to say...because you've been saying it all since the very beginning.

I love this life, and I love even more the way the loving is echoed back to me in a thousand and one different forms ~

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