Saturday, July 30
Feel What You Won't
I caught myself saying "I'm blue now" referencing a change in the color of the shirt I wear at work. And today I wrapped my arms around a lovely heart who had just finished wiping tears from her eyes.
Sitting to write more pages in one of the books I'm working on, a co-worker's comment popped up in my head.
Notice what catches your awareness.
"So how come you've been so quiet lately? Are you okay?"
He asked it with actual concern, like something was wrong. My initial and immediate response was: I'm good.
I didn't realize I had been quiet lately - and as I flip through the moments of the past couple of weeks I notice...yeah I have been less of my flitter-bug-y self lately. I'm usually super happy to see people - my heart lights up, and I choose for it to light up for everyone. And yet lately there I was, a little more closed off, more inside, more retreated.
Not to the point where it's noticeable though, unless you're really paying attention.
And I wasn't paying attention. I hadn't really noticed how much of a difference there had been in me let alone in how I was showing up to other's in my world.
I'm glad someone else noticed it!
Events impact us - even if we process information differently, and we know how malleable our playground is, and we know the power of our attention and focus, there's still that initial confrontation with some information and the reaction from it that needs to go acknowledged. You have to process the energy, the pattern and really let yourself be with it before you can move through it. Because otherwise it's just a game of masquerading around as something other than yourself.
It took today's sequence of events...the being "blue now", the tear faced beauty, the co-workers comment for me to ...wait-a-minute myself back into my being to feel and acknowledge that sad part of me.
It goes without saying: say what you won't say and feel what you won't feel.
'Cause until you do, the energy isn't going anywhere. It's staying with you!
So feel what you won't feel and let it be a passing cloud in the field of your awareness. Because it's only after you've felt it, processed it, that you can be all of yourself again.
Be fearless with your "low" feelings as you are with your high one's. They're all perfect!
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