Thursday, February 24

Welcome to My Office

When I came home from work the other day I felt like I entered a completely different atmosphere as I stepped through my front door. A lot goes on in my home. I play soothing melodies constantly - when I leave my house I usually have some meditation or relaxation music keeping my dog company. I constantly infuse my home with soothing aromas of jasmine and sandlewood and lavender. I meditate, do yoga in different rooms, and have my sessions with clients. So the energy of my home is noticeably expansive and clear. I feel it most after a busy day - the moment I walk through my doors I feel like pounds and pounds of weight just fall off me. Like there's a screen that I walk through that just peels all that stuff off of me and leaves it outside my door. My home is my home, my oasis, my ashram, my office, my playhouse - it's everything. And I love it!

I notice the spaciousness even more when I'm doing sessions with clients. Most of my sessions are done via skype or through email right now. The view from my desk coupled with the sound coming from the constant flow of the river behind my place adds to the serene and open energy that just emerges in my sessions. It's palpable and everything around me simply supports it and enhances it. When I have had in person visits elsewhere, the energy is that much more alive so I got to thinking today what it would be like if I had myself a little ocean front office somewhere. I keep meeting people who want to or at someone point wanted to have a center of some sort, a holistic center that's near water and surrounded by nature. Anywhere out here can be that space. And what I notice from my own environment right now is that the space we create and the space that we allow to support us makes a difference.

I'd feng shui my office space, put all sorts of soothing natural objects like wood and rocks and bamboo in it. I'd get a massage table so my clients can lay down while we do energy adjustments. And I'd let the sound of the ocean and the view and the energy do what they do naturally - anchor, enhance, and radiate this living force that is the true magician of our world. I'd infuse it with all the love and magick in all the universes and I'd let it form itself into the portal of transformation, ease, flow, and connection that would best serve all the layers of my clients being-ness. It'd be that and yet so much more than I can think and conceive of right now.

It's going to be amazing!

Welcome to My Office

Wednesday, February 23

I Let Go

Any time I hear someone talk about what's not working, what's broken, what's going wrong, what's being done wrong, my impulse is to say STOP. WAIT. Freeze Frame (a la star trek holodek programs)...

What do you want to see happen?
What vision do you want to empower?

The practice is to immediately move yourself into asking for what you want instead of resisting and reacting to what you don't want.

Well what would it look like if...
Well what would it feel like if...

It's the difference between useful and not-so-useful (not at all useful) states of mind. I get it that we've habituated a way of relating and conversing and reporting around "what's wrong with the world" and "what's going wrong with the world" but no matter how loudly you shout at or against perceived problems, they will stay the way they are and even grow bigger and more scarier than they started out as. Resistance is like a growth hormone to whatever pattern is being resisted.

So someone comes and they start telling me about how that thing isn't working, and why, and how horrible it is and I let go. I go against that impulse to say STOP WAIT freeze frame, and I let go. I let go of all these protests to their expressions. Even though I know the power of shifting, even though I know how un-resourceful and dis-empowering it is to stay in that state of complaining and resisting, I let go. Even though I live daily the power of looking and moving in the direction I want to go in, in thought, feeling, words, and action - rather than continuing to stare at and shout against a direction I have no interest in going in, I choose to let go. And I say, you know, this is okay. Not everybody in the world needs to be a master shifter, a master releaser, or anything else for that matter. They just get to be who they're choosing to be. And that's awesome.

What a practice!

Unconditionality - letting go of the need and desire for anyone to be other than they are. Letting the complainer be a complainer. Letting the pessimist remain a pessimist. Just leaving everyone alone to their chosen expressions of self. I tell you, it's a practice. A reminder to myself that I don't have it figured out for everyone else. I have it figured out for me. That's it. And those that want my wait-stop-freeze-frame, will ask for it. Otherwise, my practice is to just let everyone BE.

Resisting resistance never gets anyone anywhere...useful.

Everyday I grow!



Friday, February 18

I Love Miracles


In a fast moving world like ours today it can be easy to overlook the endless and amazing miracles popping up all around us. With a simple click of a button or a few keystrokes, I can catch up on the going ons of beautiful friends all around the world. My world is global - what once was a circle of five or six close friends, now is vast sea of global connectivity bringing along with it that much more information.

I don't know about anyone else, but for me noticing miracles and seeing these amazing cosmic conspiracies that show up as unimaginable coincidences and moments too surreal to be seen as anything other than extraordinary, started out as a conscious practice. I'd ask myself: what miracles can I awaken to right now? And there they would be. Things and moments my mind had overlooked would suddenly become highlighted in my awareness. They'd just pop out at me and I'd marvel.

Our mind does this thing where whatever it doesn't understand, it'll push out onto the peripheral, and whatever shows up in the fashion that miracles do, it categorizes as "weird" or "coincidence" or "chance" or what have you.

From my life: It's a miracle when the guy you have a crush on shows up at the same spot that you're at with your longtime friends. Of all the places he could have been at in a city of 800,000 people, he was at the same place at the same time you were there. That is a miracle. It's a miracle that funding suddenly comes through for a job you just learned about and applied to and got over night. It's a miracle that an item you had a dream about showed up in your waking world. It's a miracle that your consciousness moves as it does! It's a miracle that a purple car you doodled rolled onto your driveway. It's a miracle that a friend brings over the exact thing you had been wanting to have. IT'S A MIRACLE!

I have these amazing moments of synchronicity and wild meetings all the time, and the moment I register them and notice them as miracles, I'm suddenly awake to the amazing platform of creativity and inexplicable wonder this world is. A book I just learned about suddenly pops up in my view, a new model of experience I'm curious about suddenly has a presentation up the street from me, the flour I bake with suddenly appears at a store closer to me that I no longer have to commute across town - it happens all the time. Miracles. This amazing life working behind the scenes to sooth every slight crinkle of desire and wonder in my being.

Miracles are the norm. And the more you awaken to them right now, the more you will feel the love that is here in this network of grace and wonder for you. Just for you. Not because you asked or pleaded for it, but because you're here and you exist.

Life adores YOU ~

Saturday, February 12

Current Diary of Pipi Longstockings

I'm sitting down to do a proper entry while munching on bean sprouts dipped in hoi-sin and chili sauce.

I used to write blogs like they were my personal journal entries complete with pictures and creative expressive adventures. For some reason that stopped. I don't know why. I don't know why anything is why. That sentence is meant to be like that. The space in my head gets down to a funky language rhythm these days, confusing the matter so that throughout everything it's evident that words only take us so far.

Anyway. I promised myself this wasn't going to be a heady-head entry. And so it's not! I see the word snot in it's not. So here I am - actually talking to this box like I used to. Just letting it all flow out. Asking myself, what do I want to talk about? And I have something!

This past week, I've been feeling like myself to a whole new degree. I've been doing presentations around the community for work and wholly mother of carelessness. No voice in my head. No judging. Nothing while I speak, before I speak, and after I speak. Just smiling, speaking, moving on, making eye contact, engaging and cracking jokes. Who is this girl??? Granted the presentation is only 20 minutes or so long, but I'm just there. And I caught that. I caught myself just being fully me without receding into self-judgment, self-rejection, and the whole list of self bullshitting we practice ourselves into. It's amazing. A bright shiny woman I met recently said I'm very spacious and that I'm very much an extrovert. REALLY? And it's true. Gone is the girl who used to run and hide behind her mother, or find a quiet corner and pray her friends will stick by her side at parties and gatherings. Gone is the girl who went wide-eyed in a room full of strangers. And here is this girl, woman, being thing. Careless. Carefree. Not considering anything other than the awesomeness of the moment at hand.

Maybe it's the whole having a radio show thing - I don't know what it is exactly. I just notice that I'm more being in my being these days than ever before. Not self-correcting or even wanting to self-correct. Nothing. And I kinda love it. I say, Hello Me! Nice to see you this fine shiny sun day!

I feel it - this is the way we're meant to be, just present, delivering whatever we need to deliver without any background mental static. No need for approval or disapproval or being seen or not seen or whatever else. No needs. Just being. Being without the illusion of needing anything.

Awesome is THIS.

I've also decided that this island is where I want to settle on down. I love it out here - it's unlike anything else. After a full year of living here, I can't see myself anywhere else - at least anywhere that's land-locked. Water, mountains, trees, ocean - all of these are a necessity in my world now. I can't go back. Scrap that. I choose to not go back to anything other than this.

Endless gratitude for the constant awe-evoking view that keeps me centered, the magickal ocean that just gleans all sorts of mysteries, the sound of the river in my backyard reminding me in every moment just how abundant life is. I think everyone should have a river in their backyard, or the ocean - whichever. It's just so obvious in its message. Flow flow flow flow know?

I was sitting in a professors office the other day at the university, chatting about research while I turned to look at her view. Snow capped mountains. Yeah!

I hope you're enjoying your view as I'm enjoying my rainy gorgeous beautiful world!

LOVE to the max!

Thursday, February 10

Peter Russel

Peter Russel is one of my favorite expressions EVER!

Pete and Duane’s Window

More at:

Thursday, February 3

Center for Consciousness Studies

My ideal job is winking at me. 

I love doing research, the process from beginning to end. What some people find meticulous, I find engaging. The whole thing, from the point of asking the question to finding out if anyone else out there in the world of academia has asked it, to going out into the (global) community and collecting data from hundreds if not thousands of people. I love finding patterns and noticing the relationships inescapable in our world. I loved the process so much that I did it for 6 years - it was my job. They paid me.  Working at the University and at the hospital, asking questions. Why do mood disorders arise? What makes substance use related to bipolar disorder? Why? When? Who?

I was born to ask questions, to find evidence, and to create practical uses for the information and patterns revealed. Then enter the phase of Kidest in QuantumLand. I took a year off from the world. It was a trip. I learned. I traveled. I leaped. I clawed out my concepts and identities. I left my job. The frames rolled on and my questions changed. Or at least I noticed that I had always been interested in a different line of questioning. At the root of my curiosity was a deeper calling.

Let's track back to why I got into psychology to begin with, why I spent over four years and then some learning about personalities, swallowing theory after theory, and discussing case after case of diagnostic summaries. Curiosity. After the patterns we know as depression and schizophrenia entered my reality bubble, watching loved ones completely change before me as these patterns became identities, I asked - why is it that they are experiencing life as they are and I'm not? Why am I unaffected by the  life events that are affecting them?

Though I thought my questions were about patterns, my questions actually went deeper. The deeper you go into your own being, the more you see and access other dimensions of the same question. It was noticing these patterns that actually fueled my own explorations beyond my studies in psychology. It was then that a deeper world made itself known, the world prior to definitions, labels, and even the seeming continuous identity that experiences the waking world. 

And then what?

I came back to the world of work. Yet the world of work showed up in a different way. My last two jobs have been kind of "off" topic in so many ways. One was about research in sustainability, and the other one right now is on seniors and new mothers. Of the dozens of jobs I sent my amazing resume to, these were the one's that wanted to play. They were nothing I'd looked at before, and they were/are both short-term and temporary. So I started looking for "sustainable" work in another city. I looked and I looked and little bubbles of possibilities would appear and then POOF they'd disappear. Finally I let go. I said, I don't know what's going to happen when this current contract ends, and I'm okay with that.

And then what?

I discovered the city that I'm in is working to open a Center for Consciousness Studies. WHAT??! Right here?!?!?! THAT would be my IDEAL work place. To get to do what I love - which is research - on a topic that I live and breathe day in and day out. The University of Arizona has a Center. And there's also the Institute of Noetic Science in California. I knew there were a few all over the US. That a center/institute would open up in the very city that I'm in right now? Nope, did not expect or dream of that.

I wrote to a few of the individuals expressing my interest when the center opens. I don't know when it's going to open or how far along they are in the process - but here's to all of it coming together in the next month! The whole idea THRILLS me to no end. I didn't know what my dream work was until the possibility of this showed up! Doing research, publishing, presenting at conferences, and adding to the growing evidence of how Consciousness is really the ultimate beginning and basis for every aspect of our reality. YES!!!

The Universe so absolutely dreams a bigger dream for you.

Who knows what's next? And how much cooler and better is it going to get?

Tuesday, February 1

Matrix Energetics At Play

No matter how many other models of transformation I dabble in and try out, Matrix Energetics (ME) is still by far the most playful and open.

I played with a group of new friends in my island wide community over the weekend and one of the women reflected to me what I already knew. That this model is a PERFECT fit for me, for my outlook, for how I see, for how I like to play. The language, the openness, the platform of play comes so easily to me. I don't know why. And the why doesn't matter. What matters is how it feels the moment I step into the awareness ME makes available to me. Gratitude doesn't even begin to express how I feel for how practical this model has made all the insights and realizations that have dawned within me over the past ten years. And the very noticeable shifts that show up? Life reaffirming just how malleable this playhouse we call our world really is.

Thank You More Please!

Baby Smiles as Meditation

You know when you're having a frazzled day and something pops up in your face to get you to slow down, get back to earth, and just remem...