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Showing posts from 2011

The Dawning of New Minds

Days away from it being the year two thousand and twelve and I'm thinking to myself...or I should say still thinking to myself HOW IS THIS ALL HAPPENING? Life is an absolute and wonderful mystery, and we're getting to play and tap dance on the frills of its twirling skirt. Lost in the details of our every day human moments, we forget the vastness that is unfolding in and as us right now - the whole expanse of the cosmos, the whole expanse of multiple timelines, the whole field of unending unknown realities carry on, and here we are, reading a blog, stirring a mug of hot apple cider, or chatting about that lady who did x, y, and z the other day. What we let ourselves contain in awareness and what we're CAPABLE of containing in our awareness amazes me to no end. Every time I sit to contemplate something, the narrowness of our everyday conversational content makes itself known. We favor the small details and make them important - we make small thinking important and ove

What is not love?

The best tester for how stabilized you are in your perspective of love is change - what is your default response to change, to new information? When defenselessness, transparency, and the steady recognition that there is no event, no appearance that is love-less, that there is no space where love is not...become your first nature, that is when you know that you have moved yourself out of the illusion of separation. It's an ongoing exploration of where you are holding your self in relation to that unified tension-less state. Love is on all sides of the equation.

All Made Up

I went to pick up some make-up and the lovely lady did my whole face. It was good times. I've never been the wear make up every day kind of gal. I often opt for a hat and a face wash before I head out for the day. But once in a while, it's so much fun to put on the layers of goo that makes my face look artsy.

Bubble Gum Isn't Always Good

And then this one time they made me drink bubble gum vodka

Monkey Business Monkey Love

This makes me so happy! I love that today started this way!

I Am Sovereignty

A most liberating sense to hold within yourself is one that says: I will never conform to your definitions and expectations of how I ought to be in the world. You can never be confined to the limits of someone else's mind, or your own for that matter.  You cannot be captured by the mind. You can be perceived by the single heart, you can be clearly seen through the eyes of love, but there is nothing that can contain the totality of who and what you are.And there in rests your freedom to be your self, all of your Self in any given instant. It's one of our most interesting patterns - we want people to fit nicely and neatly in the boxes we've created in our own mind for them. We make our approval of them mean more than their own self approval.It's safer that way. It's safer, they're safer if they are put in the box of the known, the familiar. We're conditioned to remain blind to the Unknowable nature of the life that organizes itself into all that is see

Be in Wonderment!!!

One of my favorite things about this life, is just HOW MUCH there is to fall in love with every day. Every day is a chance to ask the question: I wonder what I'm going to get to fall-in love with today? I want to make a "you're my favorite" pin and stick it on everything!!! EVERYTHING! Including the fat raccoon I saw the other day. See the magnificence of everything in your view. Acknowledge it. Go discover it. Move out of the mind of familiarity and into the heart of wonder. Are we really here, being this, experiencing this, living this!?!??! WOW!!!

Trippin On This Fantastic Voyage

I drove up island on Thursday to give a talk on creativity followed by a one day workshop on Saturday. It was incredible to be in that space. I've been a speaker in smaller environments, and with being on the radio for a few  years have grown comfortable just letting it flow. But there's something more when it's a live audience. The eye contact, the way they adjust and shift in response to what I say, the way they register and interact with the information flowing out of me is INCREDIBLE to witness. The more I grow, the more humans fascinate me. One of the participants at the end said: "thank you for that thorough scrubbing" AH! The whole trip was indescribable. The organizers offered their basement suite for me to stay in. It was a two bedroom suite bigger than the house I live in right now, which had its own entrance so I came and went as I pleased. Every part of this trip was lined with the ease and fluidity of the talk and the workshop. Everything was J


Sometimes it's like you have to poke holes in yourself to let out the pent up steam - the tension that's been bubbling unnoticed underneath your skin. Why don't we notice these reactions in the moment? Why do we put off releasing tension until it's already changed us in irreversible ways? I find that any place where I don't have the space to really be honest, to authentically be whatever version of my self I happen to be in the moment, to say what I need to say and to say what I won't say, is a place I outgrow. Meaning if I can't grow and expand in that space, in that relationship, I grow out of it. I think it's like that for most - communication is a way to grow together and the absence of it is a way to grow apart. Either way you can't help but grow, the outcome being growth that unites you with another or growth that takes you away from another. What nourishes and deepens all relationships, regardless of their form, is real communication. It&#

Everything I need

I have everything I need. We go through life thinking we need external things to feel complete, that we need things 'out there', impermanent objects, to complete us. That it's when we have object x, object y, and object z that we'll finally feel like we have it all. But what I get to step into everyday now, more aware and more awake to the power that lives me, is how fully equipped I came into this delicious world. I already have it all, all the tools I need to live the life that thrills me are built right into the structures of my being. The light of clarity over this grows and glows brighter each day. It is not the fleeting waking world that holds answers but the world of Being that precedes and contains it. It is not the echo that charts our course but the sound that sources it. Only when we look to the origin, the causal principle of our own self and world do we discover that the most reliable power in this life, is the one that's within us. Life is that

Finding Joe


Let's make everyone FEEL this Love

If there's one thing I know, it's that more so than being thought about, talked about, or believed in, it's the love that is felt that invites hearts into opening. This is so clear to me. I notice that when I'm feeling love, the way people move around me is very different - it's like we're all dancing, doing the waltz together, we move and we look and we gesture in ways as though there is a silent song in the background guiding our flow --- it's amazing when you notice it and are amidst of it. Love, when it is being felt, seems to extend itself out from your own heart and directly touch the heart of those around you. I love all the ways love transforms, rewrites, and recodes this world. All that we know about one another is secondary to all that we really are to one another. ~ Love ~

Veda Physics

"in my father's house are many mansions..." why does this continuously bring me back to the multiverse/parallel universes model... ..."Because You are unlimited, neither the lords of heaven nor even You Yourself can ever reach the end of Your glories. The countless universes, each enveloped in its shell, are compelled by the wheel of time to wander within You, like particles of dust blowing about in the sky. The śrutis, following their method of eliminating everything separate from the Supreme, become successful by revealing You as their final conclusion" (Bhagavata Purana 10.87.41) hmmm....

How Wow Now

Now Wow How I think the more you commit to seeing all that is incredibly extraordinary in all that seems ordinary, the more aliveness you infuse into your own being. It's our own perception that makes or breaks how much energy we find in each and every moment that finds us and each and every face that meets us.

I Got This!

Exactly what it's like right now in my reality bubble :) Just magisize everything ~


A red basket of fixtures in a corner and I'm "seeing red" = angry, fuming, rage, heated emotion... Follow that up with mention of the base chakra (color red) from someone, blue phase light vs. red light convo, and a red shirt gifted to me while I'm wearing a red shirt all in the same 24 hour period and I think...notice what you notice. Red. So what's here? A thrust of massive energy to be tapped into...fuel for the fire...symbolic ignite-r. It's never about what it appears to be about. Be expanded enough in your view to see the common thread weaving your scenes together. Read your moments like a story book...from a birds eye view. In this thread there is an invitation, an invitation to accept the power of the fire, the power of the flames and to let my creative forces become unleashed, fully, completely, wholly. To let the inner dragon out - for on its wings are the magick of alchemy and in its breath rest the power of fire. Red. It's

spiraling upward into infinity

The timing is what astounds me - like clockwork we unfold unknowingly on schedule. The right conversation, the perfect time, the perfect reflection and you're back into the fullness of Being Love. And then there it is - the echo of that shift looking back at you through eyes that beam at you like your favorite melody. You are remarkable.  And we are spiraling upward into infinity. What I call being IN being in that all-inclusive state of Self - living as the spacious field of Being that contains everything and everyone. So much of what we call "love" and "being in love" is incrusted with resistance, with separation, division - you can't hide behind walls of separation and other-ness and consciously take in the pervasiveness of Love. Put down your separation. Walk through every wall. Contain everything inside yourself. This is the tension-less state of ease you're made of. This is the Home of all homes. Love.


This movie playing out before never ceases to amaze me. On days like today when everything flows from one scene to the next with grace and ease, I seem to wake up a little more to the magick that weaves my worlds together. I feel at home in these moments awake to so many facets of this waking dream. I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm awake! Why do we forget and what makes us remember? What makes us forget and why do we remember?

All Ways Free

I am clearly a magickal sea nymph moon child. Clearly. I refer only to the ways the moon and the ocean move me! Put them together and wow. Wild forces. Wild! And I love 'em up because under the surface of all that they stir up, they point me to the boundless deep of a dark and loving silence where everything is dissolved into no-thing. Oh the wonder of all that we're under! What is caged by the waking dream and what is free of it all are here right now - it's all in where you put your attention.

What it's about...

It really isn't about making the best of anything, rather... it's about bringing the best version of yourself into it . It's when you fill up what "is" with all of yourself, with the fullness of your consciousness, that you grow and expand the field of your reality to contain more - and it's that expansion from the inside that translates as more expanded "desirable" moments.

You've Made Me Whole

you bring to life old forgotten songs inside my own mind and into my heart you roll forcing the light in your eyes to shine on the cracks I've hidden inside and now you've made me whole you stretch my bones to hold more love than i've ever held before my eyes met yours and lit the fire i willingly burn in now that i'm yours there is no space you've left unignited there's no corner inside of me in which you're uninvited breathe me consume me wear me out until all there is left of me is you and only you you bring to life everything i am inside your mind and into your heart i climb letting the light in your eyes burn through the walls i used to hide and now you've made me whole - Kidest 2011

The danger of a single story

I will make burning my aim

THE SHIP SUNK IN LOVE Should Love's heart rejoice unless I burn? For my heart is Love's dwelling. If You will burn Your house, burn it, Love! Who will say, 'It's not allowed'? Burn this house thoroughly! The lover's house improves with fire. From now on I will make burning my aim, for I am like the candle: burning only makes me brighter. Abandon sleep tonight; traverse fro one night the region of the sleepless. Look upon these lovers who have become distraught and like moths have died in union with the One Beloved. Look upon this ship of God's creatures and see how it is sunk in Love.

Quite Like Us

I've never seen or felt A beauty quite like us It's how we show it Without showing it The way we speak Without using words The way we know When nothing is revealed But it's in the way we feel And I see the way they look at us Like they know what we're not saying Like they feel what we're not expressing Like they hear the way our hearts beat Even when we're fighting In the quiet corners of ourselves Where we keep it locked in And tucked away Never to be spoken Never to be shared And there's still never been A beauty quite so sacred A beauty Quite like this us we're being We can change the atmosphere With a simple gaze We can suck out all the air With a change of mind And we change it all back again When we rest in the hearts That beats like one That tick together On the second hand Of a cosmic clock I've never seen it written A story quite like us I've never breathed or lived  A beauty quite like us I'v

Mind Alone

The mind itself appears as wind in the moving element, lustre in the lustrous, solidity in earth and void in the space. If ‘the mind is elsewhere’ the taste of food that is being eaten is not really experienced. If ‘the mind is elsewhere’ one does not see what is right in front of oneself. The senses are born of the mind, but not the other way round. It is only from the point of view of fools that the body and the mind are said to be quite different; in fact, they are non-different, being mind alone. Salutations to those sages who have actually realised this truth.  - Yoga Vasistha

Black Cat

If a random stray black cat crosses your path...bend down and pet the darn thing. Black cats need love too ~

emotional cliff diving

i figure, if there are things in my life that keep flinging me off emotional cliffs and testing me, it's because life wants me to remember i have wings and am built like the rock of Gibraltar. there is a purpose to every madness, a rhyme for every reason, and clarity in every confusion. nothing shows up that isn't for the evolution of your own consciousness, the expansion of your heart cave. nothing.

the Goal, the Means, the Destination

Sometimes it's like living in two different universes... Or maybe it's more like I've traveled in time, and then was the future and now is the past and I don't know how to get back those moments of certainty, where the magic was at its peak, where whole moments organized themselves to speak your name, to show me your face, to make you appear as the everything that you are to my being. Love. It was how everything around me wrote itself. Every step I took was lined with the light of your being, written with the magick of who we are. Every thought I thought, every feeling I felt, every thing that stirred within me was leading me, directing me, pulling me into recognizing, knowing, feeling, living your name. Love. Everything is different now, what felt to be something that absorbed me, that fought with me, that tangled and knotted me up in ways I didn't know were possible is gone. And I look for it. I look for it as though that was how loving was m


Hurling Yourself into the Abyss

"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering its a feather bed." — Terence McKenna

Like A Moth to A Flame

Like a moth to a flame Burned by the fire...

Perfect Moments

I can still feel the sun on my skin. I can still feel the fun of driving with the top down. I can still taste the delicious food. I can still smell the rue, fragrant in the traditional cup of coffee. I can still feel the abundance of all the places life takes me. Thank you for who I get to meet. Thank you for the way my moments come together. Thank you for the good company you always send my way. I live perfect moments!

Full On Mastery

It makes no sense to go for anything but full on mastery. That goal is the only thing that will reveal to you the dedicated creative fire that lives inside. Whatever you set your sight on, whatever you begin, when you make your goal, the outcome, MASTERY itself, something is unleashed inside. Whatever I've taken on, that becomes my purpose. I'll try anything once, and if upon trying I like it, I'm staying in it until IT and I are completely one. Mastery is the full on integration of something into your being, the merging with it until you are that thing itself. When you are, you move and express the reality of that thing effortlessly within yourself because you've become it. You've become one. Mastery is not dominance. Mastery is developing a seamless oneness between your self and the thing to be mastered. My quest is the same in what ever I take on: what am I capable of accessing here and becoming? What am I capable of tapping into and bringing into life he

Crossing the Bridge

"I had grown up in a house with a fence around it, and in this fence was a white smooth wooden gate, two holes bored round and low together so the dog could see through. One night, the moon high, late for me home from the school dance, I remember that I stopped, hand on the gate, and spoke so quietly to myself and to the woman that I would love that not even the dog could have heard. I don’t know where you are, but you’re living right now, somewhere on this earth. And one day you and I are going to touch this gate where I’m touching it now. Your hand will touch this very wood, here! Then we’ll walk through and we’ll be full of a future and of a past and we’ll be to each other like no one else has ever been. We can’t meet now, I don’t know why. But some day our questions will be answers and we’ll be caught in something so bright...and every step I take is one step closer on a bridge we must cross to meet." — Richard Bach I've been blessed with amazing connections in th

Embracing Otherness

"Let's not be freaked out by our bountiful nothingness. It's more of a Reality than the one's our selves have created. Imagine what kind of existence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life, and marvel at what comes next. Simple awareness is where it begins." - Thandie Newton


When I imprison you in judgment, I'm imprisoning myself. When I set myself free of judgment, of the conditional view, of the view that some unfolding was something other than love... I set you free too. And so goes the dance of true love, true oneness - nothing is done to anyone other than the One that I am. I am. The accordion plays. The neighbors make it seem as though I'm in some piazza listening to locals laugh and dance in the square. And I am here present to the Love that we are. Wow ~

Moon Cat Magick

I am grateful for the depths I am able to access with the support and guidance of one of the clearest mirrors of Love I've ever come across. She has many names - today she is Moon Cat. At the end of my session I realized my daughter (who isn't born or conceived of yet) will be named: Sophia Oh the depths we access. I'm so grateful for the guidance that comes, and the angel whose woven himself into my every moment of awakening to the Love that is in everything, as everything. When I'm seeing love in it all, I'm being my full whole self. THIS is meaningful to me :)

I Am Mother

My dog does this thing when ever I sit down on the floor or lay flat on my back for a stretch or just for whatever reason - she jams herself right into me and makes herself at home. I put my arms around her and always feel like the most fortunate person in the world. She just melts all over me with no awareness of personal space or any of all the nonsense thinking minds come up with. It's the moments with her that remind me why it is I want to have children. I was joking around with a pretty friend at work. I said something like "go get yourself fixed" referring to his trip to the chiropractor. To which he made wide eyes and replied "I probably should since I don't want kids anyway." My return was "I do, I want like ten, though we'll see if that's the case after I have one." After that convo I was thinking about WHY it is I want children and the moments with my dog and the feeling of sharing that kind of a bond with a person really touche

Mystery in Everything

I've been in the mood for old school J lately! In Love with the Mystery

Back to Perfect Days

This is what my life looks like. :)

Breathing Love

It's not worth it to hold back It's not worth it to separate It's not worth it to hide It's not worth it to fear It's not worth it to shrink It's not worth it to defend It's not worth it to be anything other than fully vulnerable I'm awake to the subtle ways in which I had been undermining my capacity to feel and flow love. Creating something that is naturally true as 'too much work', creating the effortlessness of Oneness as something that needs mental input, moving from an inner dialogue of full blown love and appreciation to an inner dialogue of judgment and resistance in all its colors - there are so many ways we undermine our capacity to feel love, to be love, to breathe love. Resistance builds only when I'm not paying attention to what I'm REALLY saying inside myself. And that resistance turns into walls - thick invisible walls that I create and wrap all around me so no one can get in, and I can't extend myself beyond

Feel What You Won't

How come blue is the reference for sadness? Isn't it a higher frequency in the electromagnetic spectrum? Curious. I caught myself saying "I'm blue now" referencing a change in the color of the shirt I wear at work. And today I wrapped my arms around a lovely heart who had just finished wiping tears from her eyes. Sitting to write more pages in one of the books I'm working on, a co-worker's comment popped up in my head. Notice what catches your awareness. "So how come you've been so quiet lately? Are you okay?" He asked it with actual concern, like something was wrong. My initial and immediate response was: I'm good. I didn't realize I had been quiet lately - and as I flip through the moments of the past couple of weeks I notice...yeah I have been less of my flitter-bug-y self lately. I'm usually super happy to see people - my heart lights up, and I choose for it to light up for everyone. And yet lately there I was, a littl


some moments don't need words. like fire lit skies at sunset. you don't need words or verbal sentiments. the view so clearly speaks for itself. there are moments in the day like that. like laughter, looking at someone laugh and light up from the inside. that is one of my favorite views right now.

beautiful strangers

i love those moments that just seem so random i've had the most wonderful afternoon of love festing with a sweetheart. i'm headed home. i walk to my bus stop and have a seat. i'm half day dreaming and half enjoying the world all around me. this tall boy walks up to me. puts his arms in prayer pose and bows his head. namaste. i noticed i had one of my mala-bead bracelets on and wondered if that's why he greeted me in that way or if that was just the way he greeted all. he stat right next to me. bubbly. blue eyes. beautiful soul. and then he offered me an ipod charger. it  was hilarious. he carried on. and then asked me if i found muscle-y men attractive. i answered, 'no, i personally don't find the over-developed muscles thing attractive' he didn't seem satisfied with that. he said some more amusing things, said his goodbye and was on his way. i just sat there laughing. beautiful days ~

Life Lives & Life Dies

a customer at my work had these amazing tattoos on his arm - big dancing skeletons with mexican flare. he told me it signified día de los Muertos - day of the dead - and he was going to add more to that tattoo to create something memorable to remind him of his cousin. billions of beautiful species are birthed into being right now. and billions of beautiful species are dying in this very same breath. this is happening in unimaginable scales all around us. life exhales itself into life and life inhales itself into death in each moment. and what i often find myself feeling in moments when i observe human reaction to death are we so unaware of how much dying there is in each and every moment? how is it that we are shocked and startled by the death of one individual in our view, when death is happening in each and every second all around us? it's so strange how indifferent we are to the death of one form of life and in complete misery to the death of another form. when w


it's way more fun when you play with a model in which right contains left, and up contains down - everything is embedded in everything else. everything is contained in everything else - the whole in the one, and the one in the whole. i in you and you in me. he in he and she in she. that in this, and this in that. The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along. i love that rumi talked about holograms decades ago... welcome to my hologram/hologame ~

my motto

my motto is: dive deep into the fire of love - fearlessly leap into its blazing center. if it burns, it's only burning away all your delusions. whatever the outcome, you are cleansed and rebirthed in the fire. like a phoenix. you never lose for stepping into the flames. you only gain more of your Self.

Brightly Burning

It's wrapping up isn't it? I don't know anything I only know the energy Moments when I realize that no matter the situation facing me, the story, the moment, the expression...I'm standing there burning brightly. For you. And to be That...really is to live without being involved in anything other than the light within. The longing we sought, the journey we took, it all led us to leaving the world behind, with all the bridges burnt so we could never go back to it...not in the same way we left it. To be in the world and not of be standing amidst the noise and not hear it or see it, to simply be the light needed... That's all.

Like A First Breath

"i've been stealing hearts where i don't belong i'm breathing hard when you come on strong the more i love the less i know ...stealing hearts" ~ Silent Love Song (Jason/Raining Jane) The song is not so silent after all. I wonder what it is that creates the need to breathe deep. What is that? When you're in the energy of connection, whether with a beautiful someone or in meditation, it's like you NEED to let more air in and you NEED to let more air out. Breathe. Breathe again. I've been looking at this the past couple of days - as that's all I can do to keep myself from what feels like splitting at the atoms. There's just more energy buzzing through that it's stretching everything that is me. I focus on something in my world and suddenly I can't breathe deep enough - I can't breathe hard enough. Why? What's happening physically, energetically, mentally? What's taking place atomically and anatomically? I'

Merging Now

Past couple of nights have been interesting - like I'm more charged up than usual - a friend said it could be the full moon but I typically remain in an easy rhythm throughout the lunar cycle. I also have a daily practice to release any and all charge from my system enough to keep things flowing and relaxed. It's what makes my moments as perfectly orchestrated as they are. I find anytime it feels as though my focus is scattered, or I have a hard time locating myself fully in the moment, it's only because I'm some how disconnecting myself from the moment, from the what-is-ness of right now. Beautiful feelings and possibilities pull at my attention, the energy of moments past linger on, and my focus becomes frayed enough so that I become a little more physically unbalanced. It's subtle but I find it's in these moments that I bump into furniture or end up scratching and scuffing various parts of my body - a behavior to tell myself I'm not fully in my body anc

Constant Light

When God asks: can you be a continuous source of light in the world? I answer: yes papa love, I can! In my view...that's all we are here to do, be. Not to shrink and flicker and contract in response to the going on's of temporary patterns, fleeting appearances, but to remain steady, to leave the light within turned on, at all times, and in all directions. To be Or not to be A steady lighthouse That is the question. Be Love K.

Moon Beams and Orchids

Purple and white orchids Moon beams in goddess dreams It all comes together Like a neatly tied bow On a cosmic gift From the goddess of thunder Lightning strikes as our hearts ignite To live the words we write You are he and I am she King and Queen of a world made of rainbow streams Alive in the gladness Of being the light in the madness Awake to our oneness We are


I'm everything and more The whole world in my core A mirror of your light A secret kiss in the night Bigger than the dreams dreamt Wider than the feelings felt I'm the center of your heart Felt close when miles apart I am you and you are me We are one so can you see I'm all you've lived and more The whole world in your core  - Kidest

More awake than EVER

I love this life and the way EVERYTHING in sight mirrors to me just how in the flow I am. As the days go on and the curtain keeps opening wider and wider, I'm awake to the power I have within me. Each moment serves as my platform to watch myself, to watch the inside and see what I'm making up and what I want to do with what I'm making up. I'm making up everything about everything right now - in a sense, there is no reality, there is only make believing! It was different before - my platform was somewhat solitary - there weren't as many people in my life then as there are now. It was all theory before - being in-powered, being a love prophetess, being in my fullness. It was all theory and knowing without the actual opportunity to really practice and step into it. I had opportunities but they all seemed distant and delayed in a sense - it wasn't in my face, everyday human interaction, everyday human connection. I shift my own perception while in a conversation a

Hooked on Physics

Over the past few years I've had a growing interest in the science that sounds a whole lot like the ancient knowledge teachings of the far east. Physics. My brain warps and curves when I meddle in the concepts, and it feels good because I feel like I'm on the brink of seeing both sides of the equation - the observer side and the observed. And I know that with just a little more concentration, the concepts will become intuitive and second nature to my growing perspective. Life is as theoretical as it is physical. And I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time - it's really all that time but there are those times when I think I know and that just confuses the whole thing. I'd like to directly download into my mind the understandings of: Brian Greene, Lisa Randall, and Lee Smolin to start with. And then I'll re-install Walter Russel to get back to the meta in the physics. And somewhere in between all that, I have to remember to paint my

Choosing the Effortless Path

I've been noticing that there are two ways in which things happen for me in my life. One where I run on the hamster wheel like there is no tomorrow and get or move into what I want to experience in minuscule increments. And the other, where I do nothing, absolutely nothing and find myself in the right spot, at the right time, talking to and connecting with the right people. The first way is full of effort, and sweat, and carries a heavy sense of having to engage in some inner fight to get the outcome - and it rarely ever works out to a desired standard anyway. The second way is full of a carefree flow - a 'whatever' attitude that co-mingles itself with some magical force that just picks you up and moves you around like a chess piece. In the not caring, in the not investing, in the 'whatever'-ness, in the letting go of attachment to any outcome, you flow into many an unexpected magic. I no longer wish to make anything happen in my life. I no longer wish to MAK

I Like the Way

I like the way you come my way And I like the way you smile And I like the way you pretend To look straight ahead While looking right at me from the sides I like the way you move closer And I like the way you try When you come on by Every time you come on by I like the way you look at me When you make it obvious you're looking I like the way you play like a child Masking how deep you've gone within And I like the way you sound yourself And the way you pretend to hide What you know the way you know When you know all that you know I like the way we move together I like the way we come together I like the way we laugh together Each time we let ourselves come closer Every time we let ourselves come closer It's a conspiracy all around me To bring me closer to you It's an invisible strategy To let me feel you too I like the way you walk around And the way you stay by me I like the way you linger on Even when you make yourself leave I like the

It's All Gone Down

It's like some brilliant artist Out of some heavenly realm took all the whispers of my heart And carved them out as you Beauty and light Childlike delight Laughter in the awareness And magic in the timing Of the way we move Every angle and shade Made to reflect An easy perfection I can recognize I so recognize it It's what I breathe When you come into view It's what I feel When you bring yourself closer And make your way to stand Right next to me And walk on right beside me And every moment that our paths intersect Weaving through the isles Wearing uncontrollable smiles We make believe That we don't know How it's all going down How it's all gone down Another me and another you This me and this you It's all gone down Here and everywhere In all conceivable realms It's all already gone down We go up As it's going down It's already gone down

Living Lightly

The more I wake up to the programs and from the programs we've made up the more I see, breathe, and feel the light in everything. There is no weight in anything, it's all weightless. There are no dark moments - it is all arising from and within the ocean of light that is our Being. The rain is light, your tears are light, the night is light, your moments of forgetting are light. What we divide in our own mind will appear divided to our eyes and in our life. When you wake yourself up from the illusion that there is anything other than the vibrant luminosity of creation here, in this moment, the light of your awakened recognition will dissolve the imaginary shadows you're creating with your own mind. Wake right on up to your living Lighted Self. Live lightly ~

Zero Waste Grocery Store

Thank you more please!

God Sends Me Angels

God sends me angels every where I go - they take on human form and stories and theatrics, but the gleam in their eyes and the love in their hearts always gives it way. God sends me angels every where I go - they hug me when we first meet and love me in all the ways I need, and in those silent moments when our eyes meet, I know what I know. God sends me angels every where I go.

Happily Ever Now

Playing out my mythology On a stage Built by Kings Made for Queens The dream is always bigger than we conceive Always brighter than we believe And the energy that swirls Always peeling off the layers Of the myths we keep ourselves Hiding Under Hero's and Heroine's Warrior's and Fair Maidens It's Happily Ever After We're always after When all we ever are Is happily Here Now

I Heard It

I heard it happening when I was in the in-between state of sleeping and waking up. The shift, the recognition, the realization "wait, why have I been telling this story that this thing that I want is going to cost me that thing I love to do" and then "I can just as easily step into the recognition that the thing that I want most can enhance that thing that I love to do"... It's amazing what happens when you let go of the very story that's been keeping you from experiencing the best of all worlds - you can have your cake and eat it too, 'cause whatever it is that you really want also really wants you - AND it is something that will add to your already amazing life and enhance it into even more than you imagined! I love watching those limiting programs just fall away, and living the knowing that the sky has already become our possibility. Love is having all that you've ever dreamed of and all that you never thought to ask show up on your door ste

BLESSed in BLISSings

I had the brightest of days yesterday - feeling so blessed for the ground I stood on and for the smiling love that was all around me in every direction. I love connecting. I love looking people in the eyes, seeing their smiling face right in front of me, exchanging words - mystery to mystery. My heart felt so open that I was able to access even more love and "put down my separation" as Matthew Engelhart puts it, in all directions! No walls, no walls, no walls. That was another amazing thing - getting to chat with Terces and Matthew on my radio show - you can catch the convo here ----> Awakening to a Higher Calling with Matthew & Terces Engelhart The world is so beautiful - the magic so pervasive. I have so much to be grateful for. I am so much to experience. I have and am so much to love. Thank you for where I am, who I am, and all that is with me. I am showered in the love of existence. I am saturated with gratitude for being where I get to be, being who I get


I'm raising $400 for my radio show Be Love Radio so that I can upgrade the account to host longer shows and have more call-in lines available to listeners. After some conversations, I can always tell that there's more to go after 30 minutes, that way more energy and expansiveness is at the door waiting to flow in. And I creating the space for that. I'm excited to watch BLR unfold. It's been an incredible thing so far - the conversations have been so full of upliftment, inspiration, and empowerment that I choose to bring more of that into the world. Here's to the magic of giving and receiving!


Emptying out completely is like giving the mind a radical face-lift - peeling off all the layers of concepts and knowing's you've accumulated as you play in linear time to leave a transparent noggin' of complete unknowing. I don't know what anything is. No before. No after. No me. No you. Nothing being what you think it is. Nothing happening in any direction. Empty. Empty. Empty. I'm ruthless in my letting go, fearless in my surrender to the void within. Diving deep and giving it all up. What you see through the emptiness of mind is beyond what the word 'mystery' can contain. It's garbage day today.

Never Had to Wait

I never had to wait The lines had all been set The words already spoken In black lines on white fields The picture ever so clear Not such a mystery here I never had to wait For anything Not for anything Nothing was in the way The path so wide and open Arms ready to embrace What came from miles Wrapped in the heart of Grace I never had to wait For what was written to be mine Before land and before time I never had to wait For anyone Not for anyone It's so easy When you live it and you see When it's in the air you breathe No you never had to wait Not for anything Not for me


Things I did today: First the cheesecake Then the topping Then put it together... And then tossed together my favorite korean dish - at least my version of it anyway without the fishcakes - Dukboki My neighbor who is originally from Greece spoke a few Amharic words to me today (ethiopian). She knew how to say THANK YOU, and WHY. She was so lovely - first introducing herself as I fumbled out back trying to get my dogs toy, in my house shoes and socks, up a hill - it wasn't graceful. Then telling me her name and asking me where I'm from. And then she threw words out at me - I love it when people do that. I then agreed to give her a cooking lesson for an ethiopian dish she likes - since I've got all the ingredients and all...right here next door. I love my world. And now it's time to enjoy today's baking fest result - the kitchen in my house is going to be where it's at. YES ! ;)

There is only Now

Attached to your own biases of this waking wilderness Attached to your own filters of misconceptions Attached to the illusion of time And the fabrication of a story You'll never see things clearly What you see before you Will always be yourself What you have seen before you Has always been yourself For there never is a 'them' out there Only the 'them' you construct in your own mind When you can see that you are forever projecting Your own images and limitations on what you perceive as 'other' Then you will be able to see this 'other' As your Self And only then do you know what Love really is. Love never separates Or fails to recognize The light that is in everything And as everything. Be Still Be Love

Fond of Castles

Some moments are more surreal than other's - it takes my brain more time to register all the beauty. In fact, I think my brain moves into a slow motion reel while switching itself to a high definition lens. I was spell blinded riding into what maybe my next amazing work space. All around was ancient green trees standing thick and tall. On all sides I looked out was the majesty of life speaking out and speaking loud. And then the view turned into this... Seriously?!?!?! This isn't even the whole picture. The property is located right by water and is home to gorgeous birds who are the perfect decorative marks adding to the beauty of the whole experience. The buildings themselves, castles that they actually are, have a rich history. One I happily listened to as my charming interviewers with the British accents showered me with the information. I exclaimed once again to their delight: SERIOUSLY?!!? I think they loved me. Life really is majestic. It only makes sense that

It's all my community!

The planet is my community. INspired by everyone coming into view. This guy is on vancouver island - my appreciation for human beings just grew that much more.‎"The only thing between a dream and a reality is fear."

I Am Stretched

I feel like I often start my blogs with "one of the most amazing..." I was just about to do that again. Stretching - that's what brings me to my type pad in my otherwise word filled day. I started the day with reading one of the many books on my exploration journey, then had another amazing sharing with Erin Ross on Be Love Radio as we continued on with our Getting That You Matter series. I'm a total believer in her book on the topic which is due out sometime this year. Getting that we matter, getting that we have an impact in every moment because of how we're choosing to resonate and how we're choosing to occupy the space we take up both energetically and physically, really IS the starting point to living a conscious awakened life moment to moment. When I do the shows, one of my goals is to stretch my capacity to listen and to stretch my capacity to allow something greater than myself to fill up the space of the show. I find most of the shows reach

On the Philosophy of Total Rad-ness!!!

I've been walking around my house, proudly announcing almost everyday that my various planted things are growing.   I think anytime you end up doing something you didn't know you could, you can't help but want to shout it out a little here and there - to make sure that there are other witnesses to your newly discovered genius. A few months ago, being a garden grower on any level would not have been on the list of my I Am statements - and I have plenty of those. I am a woman, I am a coach, I am a writer, I am an inspirer, I am a radio show host, I am a friend, I am a dog owner, I am canadian, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am employed, I am I am I am. Now I can add, I AM A GARDENER. It's been such a rad experience - to go from not thinking of doing it, to just doing it, and to it coming out perfectly. I planted lettuce, sage, basil, chives, mint (I love fresh mint tea), and rosemary - all from seed and all of them are breaking through the soil peek-a-boo-ing a

In Dreams

"Love is a Stranger" ~ Rumi ~ Heart came on solid footing with breath refined to warn the best of communities. Heart placed your head like a pen on the page of love. We are joyous pennants in your just wind. Master, to where do you dance? Toward the land of liberation, toward the plain of non-existence. Master, tell us which non-existence you mean. The ear of eternity knows the letter of eternity. Love is a stranger with a strange language, like an Arab in Persia. I have brought a story; it is strange, like the one that tells it. Listen to your servant. Joseph's face enlightened the well in which he was suspended. His imprisonment became a palace with orchards and meadows, a paradise, a royal hall, and a chamber of sanctity. Just as you toss a stone into the water, the water at that very moment parts to receive it. Just as a cloudy night is dispelled by a clear dawn, from his humiliation and loss he views high heaven. Reason do not envy my mouth. God witnesses the

Good Night, Great Nights

often the most profound thing to do is be silent and take it all in

Why Yes, I'd Love to Dance

Not having a full-time day job these past few months has meant more time to dance around my house while: baking, doing some gardening, cleaning, cooking, playing, and cooking some more. I attempted to read and write while dancing but it doesn't work as well. I've also been doing a lot of daydreaming, which sometimes spookely has turned into catching flying prophetic visions.  It's all good though. I'm supernatural by nature. When I dance, I like to picture the whole entire Universe as my man, I curtsy  and/or dance up and down the air like we're at a nightclub and no one's watching. It's fun. And for some reason gives me energy blasts that shoot up and down my everything. I think the Universe likes my moves. It's either this or I get up in my head and start getting zapped by thought storms about this potential job, and that potential job, and that professor who may have had some work for me but then didn't, and that interview that I went on las

Things I've said in the last hour:

Love is my guru. Love and fun are childhood sweethearts. My heart does cartwheels for you. Waking up from sleep today I felt like someone had taken some spark plugs and zapped my heart a bagillion times. Today my devotion to love, my commitment to be Love's devotee is coming so easily and effortlessly. Life is about loving, staying open, extending, and extending some more. I feel at my best when I'm in that space and when I'm being anything less, the world loses a little bit of its color, a little bit of its glow. I love noticing the difference. It only strengthens my decision to be open that much more. A loving me, a loving world. It's that simple.

Flight of the Firefly

I want to wrap my arms around the whole world, give it a nice squeeze and kiss it on the forehead. The only thing to do, is just love - feel it, think it, flow it, wrap everything that's showing up in your world in it. Just love. We can either focus on the narrative and get lost in the mind maze of thought stuff, or we can just stop, drop into the heart, and flow the light of love. One of the best questions I can ask myself I engaging the mind where I can engage my heart? Am I listening with my mind or my heart? Am I in separation or in connection? I love you. I love you. I love you. That is all of it ~

Eye See

If you zoom out far enough out of yourself, or if you zoom out farther into your Self as it were, the Universes read like a story book. I live a life of one unified movement. Events that are one appear to happen as separate occurrences all over the world, all over the cosmos. But the thread of oneness reveals itself if you know how to read the pages of the cosmic story book. Or rather if you learn how to see more than your eyes show you, if you learn how to read and trust the impressions your inner senses register second after second. An event miles and distances from you can be known without the use of your physical sense instruments. What these inner sensors are, I don't know - their feeling perceptions, images and knowings, intuition and all that can be called non-local communication downloading into your brain and body to tell you that something has shifted, something has changed, something just moved in a different direction. It translates differently but the feeling and t