Friday, October 15

Thank You, I Love You: Choosing to Live Acknowledgement

I've always had this ability to see the best route to something. When someone starts talking about something, some problem or something that needs to get done, my mind goes into computation mode thinking up the most efficient way to do it. I see lists, or steps, charts or whatever else and instantly begin to organize the information. Sometimes I even feel like I'm looking at multiple screens simultaneously in my mind and one of them pops out or stands out. It's an automatic process and response and it's only now that I'm seeing the reasons I became manager of basketball teams in high school, or co-president of the dance club, or a restaurant manager, or was left in charge of running a 1/2 million dollar project without supervision. I'm a natural born leader, I've always been one. Even the personality tests told me so. I can see why every employer or supervisor I've ever had wanted to keep me longer. I've never been let go or fired from a job. It was always me that flew away, and up until now, up until these recent weeks of writing cover letters and refreshing my resume, I hadn't really thought to acknowledge the way my mind works, the way I work.

I used to recoil from acknowledging my own accomplishments, my talents, skills, abilities - what I bring to my environment, my world. My University degree had been hiding under a pile of binders in the closet. My various certifications were tucked in between various folders, out of sight - unseen, forgotten, unacknowledged. When my super accomplished thesis supervisor, a professor and clinical psychologist who I deeply respected, said to me that working with me felt more like working with a colleague to her, I dangled the comment at a distance inside myself, never really letting it reach or touch me. Until now - 4 years later. It's never too late to receive acknowledgement, it's never to late too allow yourself to be touched by your own achievements. I sat myself down and asked: can I allow myself to acknowledge what I have achieved so far in my life?

Deep breath. Can I tell you, it took me a few rounds of asking that question to finally receive the self-acknowledgement - to allow myself to see and accept that YES, I have succeeded in my life over and over again. Success is not one giant stroke of paint across the canvas of our lives. It is a sequence of little dots, little steps along the way. Every moment is a success. Every achievement, no matter what scale you are using to measure it, is the achievement of a lifetime - your lifetime, your unique one-of-a-kind never-to-be-repeated-again lifetime. Do you remember how big of a deal it was when you first learned to use a spoon or took your first steps or said your first syllables? Everything you do in this world, every thing you put into expression, every to-do you cross off your list is a big deal. YOU are a big deal. Acknowledge yourself. Embrace what you're doing and what you've done in this world. Every bit of it. Reach back into every point in your life and tell that version of yourself: Thank You for doing this, I love you.  From your ability to tie your shoe, brush your teeth, to your ability to read, share, express and BE YOU - reach out and touch every you that you have ever been with love and acknowledgement. Tell every you that you have ever been, the 4 year old you with the bottle, the 7 year old you with your finger up your nose, every one you have ever been: Thank YOU for who you are right now, I love you. Reach out, reach back and acknowledge each you that you were at every age. FEEL that.

Now because I am living from inspiration and choosing to share it, acknowledgements, thanks, expressions of love, SOUL LOVE, are sent my way daily if not more frequent than that. And as I choose to receive them, to let them land on me, every second of my life is highlighted to me in such an elevated way. The more I raise myself into receiving, the more my whole life is raised and acknowledged, seen, by something inside of me. I want to find the words to capture the experience, but I'd rather you feel it for yourself, in your own life.

If you were to right now see that the whole of existence was standing to acknowledge you, who you are, all that you are and have ever been, what would you feel? Read that again. At least three times. Stay with the question. Go into that. Deep into it - immerse yourself in that.

That's what I'm talking about.

I love you.
I am grateful for you, for every little thing and big thing you've done to every little and big thing you will do.

Life is madly in love with you. I know it!

♡k.

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