Saturday, June 12

Dear Beautiful Man

from my various type fests...
...That amazing connection you feel, that powerful energizing experience, is you connecting to the highest power within yourself - it's you connecting to whatever higher power you believe exists in this Universe. It has little to do with me and more to do with your choice to experience yourself fully opening up to this power, to fully letting it flow freely through your body. I know we have a tendency to create in our minds that we feel this open, this amazing, because of the other person. But every person for me is a chance to connect to the Infinite within us, and to recognize that THAT is what's happening in these moments - we are allowing the full force of this power to flow through us, and because we do, because we have someone in our experience we focus on without any resistance, without any negative stories, memories, judgments, or expectations, without any filters, we experience this pure energy - this amazing "I can't get enough of this" energy. I want to be a reminder of this recognition. I want to be a living question to the people in my life experience, asking "can you see that this powerful connection you feel has everything to do with who you really are? That in this moment you focus on me with such openness that you are allowing yourself to experience who you really are?"

...The greatest thing I can do for any man in my life, is to call him toward his own soul, to his own connection to the Infinite within.

...Imagine that the way you daydreamed about me, what you feel and how often you feel it when you focus on me, that yummy beautiful-ness, is how everything in Existence feels for you and how often it feels it for you. Imagine a Universe that is so in love with you, that is so enchanted and thrilled by the simple fact that you exist. The stars, the heavens, the trees and all the earthly things, everything in existence in this vast Universe, use the feelings you feel for me as your reference to understand the energy that is holding you where you are in this moment - to understand that the energy you experience as these feelings is all that is ever swirling around you waiting for just the slightest excuse, the slightest opening to come flooding to you and through you. Feel what you feel for me, and go deeper into it - say to yourself "this is the way the whole entire Universe feels toward me." Stay with that. Feel the power of that. What you feel for me is but a preview to how truly adored and loved you are by That which there's no adequate name for.

...For me, the LOVE I choose to feel choose for another being, no matter the context of our relationship, is about me...In the moment I feel amazing focusing on someone, I have CHOSEN to be open, to look at them without any stories of any kind, I have chosen to Be Love in that moment. It isn't about what you want me to do or not do, or how you want me to feel or not feel, my choice to focus on you and feel this amazing energy course through me, is mine. Can you feel the power of owning your perception? And the power of owning what and how much love you generate within yourself while you focus on ANYONE?

...So let's let go of the stories our minds want to make up. Let's let go of the expectations and everything we know and think about what it is to be truly connected. Let's just be present to each other, continue to be fully open and unguarded, and aware of where we're taking ourselves in our thoughts and everything there after.

... I believe in coming together as two wholes rather than two halves. I think we're all capable of being bright blazing suns and then casting the fully empowered light out onto the world. None of that "you complete me" stuff - but more the "I complete myself, and it is that completeness that I share with you." Then the connection becomes about choice rather than need - "I am already full and I choose to share that fullness with you" rather than "I need you in my life, you make me feel X Y and Z." It really is different because you hold yourself accountable and responsible for what you feel. "I feel X Y and Z because I'm choosing to" - it acknowledges that every feeling you generate in yourself has everything to do with your choice rather than an outside reason, source, or anything else. It puts all the power to feel anything in your hands, and yours alone. Total empowerment. No matter who or what faces you in the world you can always at all times feel like you are overflowing, because you've chosen to make the only reason in your life for why anything happens be YOU. You're the reason for your own happiness, you're the reason for your joy, you're the reason for the amount of love you feel. It's just a really different way of showing up in the world - being your own Sun.

More and more I'm so aware of how I'm showing up in this world and how different I look and feel to the man looking at me in this moment. Moment after moment I find myself asking him in some shape or form "how true are you being to yourself right now?" That's all that matters. The love anyone feels for me isn't about me, it's about recognizing and remembering just what we all are, and what this amazing beautiful world is made of. I am so full and so free on that recognition alone.

We are so capable of coming together, standing tall, breathing in the power within ourselves and shining that onto each other.We don't need to fill up each other's cups. We need only give up the illusion that our cups aren't already full all on their own and then come together from that fullness moment after moment.

I am complete and whole. He is complete and whole. Why make up anything else?

And the stuff in between? The butterflies and the hours of kissing, the warmth and deliciousness of every whisper and gaze, of every waking moment of openness, the gratefulness and the endless giggles - that's the unbelievable icing on the cupcakes...mmm


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