Tuesday, March 2
I am Unguarded
The more I open up, the more I choose to keep myself open to the things and people around me, the more I discover those little pockets of stories that prefer that I stay guarded, reserved, and protected. These are those little self-made or inherited stories that have me pull back from something or someone, that poke at me to save myself, to protect myself, to self-preserve. But what these little tendencies are really doing is separating me from creating a real kind of sharing of myself with the beautiful face in front of me, or the divine situation I'm in the middle of. Everything that keeps me closed up, that has me pulling away from something or someone is just a story in my head. Something old. Something learned. Something to let go of from somewhere within the folds of my mind.
Ever had that experience of being fully and completely One with something? Like there was no space between you and this something or someone? The energy is amazing and energizing for days on end. It is one of the most amazing experiences of this life, and it is this experience of total Unity these little stories stop us from engaging in.
I'm in this space where I WANT to share all of myself with whatever and who ever is coming into my experience. I want to just melt into oneness every which way. To sit across the table from a sweet friend and say everything in my heart. Talk with a guy somebody and say whatever is in my heart and really be transparent about where I am and who I am in that moment. Really connecting with the life form in front of me. No reservations. No shields. Just full out bare nakedness. Really creating an open flow of sharing. Why hold back? What are we protecting?
I continued this conversation in my head with my shiny sisterfriend Christy, and neither of us understood this pattern. This pattern that says "if I really share myself, if I really put my whole self out there, my whole heart out there, then I'm going to get rejected/hurt/wounded (and so on)." I did away with that belief as fast as I recognized it. Things are unconscious until you're aware of them. After that, they are just choices you make.
I choose to be unguarded. I choose to share everything I am. No holding back. No hiding behind anything.
I AM completely unguarded. Hopelessly open to everything! With nothing to lose and everything to gain.
in alotta love,
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