I felt nothing. I scanned myself for any reactions and nothing. I didn't feel hurt or anything else. In fact, I thought, well no matter how it appears to others eyes I know things are perfect just the way they are, that this after all is something divine in every way. And then I thought about it. This happened weeks ago. It didn't happen in my reality until this very moment. Why? Why in this precise moment did this story come, right as I'm writing an article on how everything manifests out of our beliefs? Divine Orchestration - the Universe always conspiring in miraculous ways to benefit ME. The words I had just written to my readers echoed in my mind. "What is it that I think and believe about myself and my life that this story just found my ears right now?"
And there it was. An old definition. I've always had this background story in my head that said "will he like me even though I'm black?" Or "are they looking at me like that because I'm black?" Or "is this store clerk judging me right now because I'm black?" There it was, this old story waving at me like a little kid caught doing something bad. It's a pattern that emerged only once I came to this part of the world, where I heard stories about racism, where I was taught through historical tales and TV shows that I could be treated differently because of the color of my skin, that people may not only not like me but hate me because of the color of my space suit. I've never directly experienced racism. My life is an endless sequence of kind souls showing up to show me what Love looks like. It's these thoughts that I have no reason to think apart from hearing second-hand stories. Notice how I didn't even directly encounter the negativity but received the second-hand info weeks after?
So I took this moment to be exactly what it was. A chance to once again transform myself and choose to transcend and dissolve old stories, very outdated one's at that since my self-definitions have expanded in profound ways over these past years. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to release this old background story. I'm going to choose to see that it is only Love that meets me through every eye. And Love sees ME as I am rather than how I appear in this temporary world. This is definitely a background story I'm awake to now and ready to release.
Thank you for the chance to transform my beliefs Apartment 8, you are a well disguised gift from Love itself.
Too Infinity I go! The symbols are seldom lost on me.