Friday, December 31

Happy New NOW: ThankYou 2010, Hello 2011

Darling 2010,

It's within you that I learned how to live on my own for the first time ever.
You placed me by the Ocean in my private little oasis.
You gave me the perfect place to call my own, and my own it was.
I walked and I drove, I laid and I dove, I climbed and went back to walking some more.
Then I flew higher than I've ever flown before.
You brought me encounters with more deer, and wild bunnies, glorious owls, and so much more.
I got to see wild salmon flipping in the sea.
Gorgeous mountains saluted me from all directions.
Ocean sunrise and ocean sunsets and ancient trees that stood tall for miles and miles upward into the sky.
I fell asleep to the sound of raging river over and over again and woke up to a spring time of pink and white blossoms.
I went on a boat ride to a floating restaurant and dined oceanside under the sun.
I took a ferry across the sea to the most amazing mind-bending gathering of my life.
I met and melted with more hearts than I've ever dreamed of.
Insights and glowing hearts, buzzing, and humming, life flowed into love and into bliss.
And I started my very own Love Broadcast a la Be Love Radio.
I leaped into the matters of consciousness with 8 episodes reminding on the power of YOU.
I laughed and laughed and I cried in the middle.
Joy filled my moments and light radiated from my eyes.
And my Heart? My Heart opened in ways I never knew it could.
What an amazing arrangement you became my beautiful 2010.
I thank you for all that you allowed me to ingest and digest.

Dear 2011, 
          I SO am excited to meet you. As much as I live and teach the practice of forming intentions and envisioning the moments ahead I live in a deep let go of everything I make up my moments can become. For to make up that I know or can fathom what's ahead, is to impose limits on what I  again and again am amazed to find out is beyond anything I can conceive of with my mind. 
         So 2011 I am excited to see what you and I become. I am excited how we are unveiling and revealing the Unknown Gracious Mystery that births this You and I. I love the possibilities ahead and melt over and over into the realization that anything can happen in the frames I know as my up and coming instants. 

Thank you from this Here Space 

Tuesday, December 28

Astrology And You

When it comes to planetary and celestial influences, I always feel a little poked with irritation when someone shows up being completely dis-empowered by their astrological forecast. "Hey, this planet is doing such and such and so my reality for the next 14 days is going to suck". Guess what? If you play by that rule, then you are choosing that reality. To me, that is as much a state of victim consciousness as any other.

Here's the thing about your power. You get to CHOOSE your part in the games you play with and in this platform.  You observe every single one of your experiences into being within the rule-sets and expectations you chisel into place. Ask what you are consenting to. Focus not only on how the celestial forces can influence you, but on how you influence these forces as well. Be empowered in all directions of your reality. Notice the participatory nature of your world and include your own power in the equation. Nothing is ever imposed upon you. Nothing. Choose what and how you interact with all aspects of this vibrational platform. Choose what you give power to in your world.

I am amazed to come across amazing creators falling victim in this area of their experience. Where in everywhere else they claim and powerfully own their observer-ship and creator-ship, here suddenly they no longer have the power. SEE the inconsistency in that for yourself.

Every model you employ in your reality is a belief-pattern, a frame you're imposing on how your moments can show up. If it's useful and fun for you to have your gadgets and digital toys short-circuit because "mercury is in retrograde" then by all means continue to play with that belief parameter. If it's not useful, then ask yourself, what would happen if I were to give up this belief in this moment?

Am I negating the power of the energy fields we know as planets in this platform? Not at all. I'm just introducing your own power into the equation.

Play On,

Sunday, December 26

Familiar Face

You know that feeling when you see someone and you KNOW them - everything about them is familiar, like you've seen them before and met them before, even though you actually haven't? I'm on a quest to discover what the recognition is implying. What is that loud familiarity? What is it that pulls your attention into looking at them again and again?

The Heart always knows what the mind may not be ready to recognize.

I am grateful for everyone I see and everyone I don't see, for everyone I meet in every lifetime and everyone I don't ever meet! It all fits. Beautiful blessings rain in on my world and what BLISS it is to feel it all before it has even fully formed to my eyes.

Deeply in LOVE,

Friday, December 24

This Is Banana's!

I am grateful for my circle of friends who showcase hilarity like this!

Just put a banana in your ear!

Sunday, December 19


if it isn't inspiring you to be open
if it isn't inspiring you to be more transparent
if it isn't inspiring you to hold space
if it isn't a space for you to connect to Love
if it is fragmenting
if it is exclusive
if it is closed off
if it isn't awake
if it isn't reminding you of your more-ness
                                            your magnificence
                                                           your beauty
then it's obvious isn't it?

Everything is in service of you exercising your choice, your power to choose.

Saturday, December 18

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.
— Paulo Coelho

Wednesday, December 15


A little while ago I got a knock on my door about how our recycling bin was cardboard only. The island gig on recycling is interesting to witness.  I live in a complex of apartments housing a lot of people! First I furrowed my brow and looked at the apartment manager like WTF. Then I woke up to my sense of empowerment. Nothing is FINAL. Ever.

So I got to work calling the city waste management and the property manager of all the apartments who is located in another city to get information and to make my case. And I made my case. Well, the amazing woman looked into it, talked to city waste management on her end and got to the bottom of it.  It turns out, the giant green bin that we have is for mixed recycling and so she's going to get on getting the sign changed ASAP and conveying this correct information to her properties and local managers so that everyone knows not to throw recyclables in the trash. All it took was my asking questions, my taking action - making a few calls, sending a few emails. The result? THIS!

I am grateful! Most of the time we just have to ask the questions! If you simply accepted the "this is the way"-ness of the way things show up, you won't experience the outcomes you want. You have to be willing to ask: what if this was different? When there's a knock at your door with information you know just doesn't resonate - ask - what other possibility is here? What other possibility could be here?

And then follow through. Step into whatever action-steps occur to you.

I wanna go knock on all the doors now and tell them the right info!

Tuesday, December 14

My Favorite Client

This little birdie flew into the window and landed on my balcony. It was barely moving so I scooped it up, brought it inside and did some energy work. Then just sat in Stillness looking at it. Such a gorgeous little being. Its little eyes started to droop so I got up to look for some bird-friendly seeds. Came back to find birdie all jazzed up and ready to fly. So I opened my window and off it went. Inspiration? Magick? Love?  Yeah, it's EVERYWHERE!

Sunday, December 12

The Creators Way

     I'm getting to have the most amazing conversations in the world - conversations that open up so much and have me feeling like I am on the most amazing platform ever. EVER. Every single one of us are CREATORS in this world, focusing on and adding to whatever has our attention. By the mere fact you exist, I hold, you are creative, and creating. You are molding the universal substance, with your focus, with your thoughts, with your speech, with how you choose to be and how you choose to show up everywhere in your world. And lately, I'm noticing how there is a way we can communicate that just sets the inner spark that we are on FIRE. I'm getting to be a part of conversations, interactions, sharing's that have an energy about them that from beginning to end, I Am Inspired! WOW!
     And inspiration is a funny thing - a funny thing that isn't meant to be boxed into one form. You can be inspired by the way an ancient tree leans on an awkward angle and yet manages to continue to grow, flower, shed, and grow again. You can be inspired by a woman on a bus, a bag lady of sorts who has decorated her cart with all sorts of stuffed animals. And she wears her creation proudly and boldly. You can be inspired by a gentle rain, an open heart, or someone...anyone... showing up in your reality ready to be real. Amazing creators creating life and being created by life - this is all that surrounds us. This is what we are immersed in, endless ongoing inspired creation. Inspiration is ever-present.
     If we're looking around in our world not feeling the sense of AWE, not feeling the miraculous, it is really only because we're in our own head mangled up in thoughts that are driving us to focus on the mediocre. The illusion of mediocrity rises only when we look at the world through closed eyes. When you look at life with small eyes, you miss out on so much of the magick, the synchonicity, the miraculous, the detailed intricate wonder filled wonder that is Here Right Now happening across universes and gateways, in hearts and awarenesses of beings everywhere.

Creation is BIG. So why look at it with small eyes? There is so much brilliance in this world to be seen, to be felt, to be heard, to be touched, to be in communion with. SO MUCH!


Wednesday, December 8

Evidence of True Love

It is amazing to see Love at work - this embracing, inclusive power that adds and adds and adds to your world, to your seeing, to your being. True Love is so apparent in its transparency, so obvious in its beckoning, so powerful in its call. Who Love calls you to be is undeniably obvious. How Love calls to you is unquestioningly clear.

Rush to answer,
      Rush to listen,
          Rush to go where you are directed.

True Love, the invitations of your own Heart, are only leading you into more Love.

I am living this!

Friday, November 26

Flowing Forward

The river behind my home just flows, fiercly, abundantly, and never-endingly. There's nothing about it that tries to figure out how it's going to flow and where it's going to flow to. It just flows. It just IS.

That part of us that needs to figure things out, that needs to *know* what's going to happen next, where we're going to be going next in our own flow of life and living, tries to grasp at the unknown only out of insecurity and mistrust of the not-yet-seen, the unmanifest.

And so it is to that portion of yourself you say:
     let go,
        trust the flow,
            trust that the current knows where it's going to take you
                and what it's going to do with you.

There is an all-pervading force that is organizing, orchestrating, and looking after every tiny detail of every moment. That conscious chatter that tries to squeeze the infinite-ness of this power into *knowing* through the lens of past experience and insecurity, only veils the miraculous hand that is at back of all that you see and don't see in your world.

This vast playground of Great Magick knows exactly what it is doing, with a precision and depth that your conscious mind cannot wrap itself around.



Thursday, November 25

Love is Life Believing in Itself

❝And love….Love is life
creation, seed and leaf
and blossom and fruit and seed;
love is growth and search and reach and touch and dance.
Love is nurture and succor and feed and pleasure.
Love is pleasuring ourselves, pleasuring each other.
Love is life believing in itself.

And life….
Life is the Sacred Mystery singing to itself,
dancing to its drum, telling stories, improvising, playing.
And we are all that Spirit,
our stories tell but one cosmic story that we are love indeed,
that perfect love in me seeks the love in you
and if our eyes could ever meet without fear
we would recognize each other and rejoice,
for love is life believing in itself.❞
~ Manitonquat

Sunday, November 21

Miracle of BEING

Surrounded by a mild mannered winter wonderland I am awake to the miracle of BEING. The miracle at the root of all miracles is that I Am, is that you are here right now awake and present to this moment. Everything is contained in this awareness. When you recognize that you are the miracle, you stop waiting on the miracles you think you need. Beyond mind, beyond having, beyond doing, is this Being Here Now. And there is a majesty and grace in that, that words cannot touch. It must be experienced and felt directly.

Thursday, November 18

In The Future

Things that will likely be conversation norms in the near future (if they aren't already for you) --

1) Hey I gotta go synchronize my hemisphere's, I'll [insert instant communication software here] you later!
2) My telepathy's acting up again, I think I need a 3rd eye attunement
3) Oh sorry, I was on a link-up with my e-pal in the pleiades star system...

-- I'll stop here. I've already said too much.

Saturday, November 13

Love Is King Love Is Queen

This past week I stretched even further. It felt amazing. And while I have the same feeling of accomplishment while doing asanas and stretching further into a pose than I've ever done before, here I'm talking about doing something I've never done before. I've been hosting radio shows for over a year now. It was something that just kind of came together effortlessly, one scene flowing right into the next until I found myself being on the radio having conversations with all kinds of interesting beings in this world.

Then I expanded out of the group project that is Joy Vibe Radio to my own little Love channel, Be Love Radio. Again it just flowed, amazing inspiring guests kept popping up, everyone kept saying YES to be on the radio and within a month I found myself being pulled to do a show on my own - a full show, no guests, no co-hosts, no live sessions with clients, just me. WOW. I put up a little bit of a fight in my own head making up all sorts of excuses for why it was going to be difficult to be on the air by myself. Even though I put my expressions out in all directions, from blogs to youtube video's, for some reason the longer time commitment of a solo radio show a big deal.

So I talked myself forward. I stepped into it. We're always doing that. We're always either talking ourselves into growth or we're talking ourselves into complacency, into that space that feels comfortable and familiar. But you know what? We're born to keep expanding, to keep stepping into unfamiliar new experiences so we can really connect to the more-ness of everything that we are. What I experienced just for that small step, just for that stepping into it was an expanded sense of energy like nothing else. I felt like I had stepped into my own in a whole new way, and WHAT A FEELING. Now it all seems effortless.

Right after I decided to do this solo show, I received a request to have Avasa & Matty Love on BeLoveRadio - if you don't know about their new debut album Love Is King Love Is Queen, please do your gorgeous Heart a favor and have a listen. Share it. Buy it. And tune in to BeLoveRadio for their open sharing on Sunday Nov. 21 2PM PST.

I am so completely inspired by what LOVE is moving me into!

Where are you holding back from what your heart is leading you into? 
Where are you refusing to step into something unfamiliar and new? 
Where can you talk yourself into allowing your growth?


Wednesday, November 10

I Can Be Grateful Now

That I can feel love, gratitude, appreciation for this moment and everything within it,
for anything and everything in my life,
for things that haven't even appeared yet,
that THAT is in my power breath after breath amazes me to no end.
Circumstances are irrelevant, because
we can always choose from where within ourselves we receive and respond to our moments. ♡

I can be grateful now.
I can feel grateful now.
I can be in love with life now.
I can be in love with me now.
I can be in love with you now.
I can be and feel whatever I choose...NOW.

No matter what!

Ya kno'?

Sunday, November 7

How It Happened

And this is how it happened
I took Love's hand
And followed it everywhere it led
With each breath awed
At the way it showed

And this is how it happened
Each moment woven in Light
Flooring me in delight
In each waking moment
Inspired to be
The More that I Am

And this is how it happened
This is how Love brought me to your eyes
Each scene deeper than the last
Freed from doubt and unrest
At Home
In You
As Me

That is how it came to pass
That is how it came to be

Sunday, October 31

The Clarity of Love

It's as if LOVE is constantly asking me to notice what I am in integrity with, what I am in alignment with, what I am congruent with. It feels so good to see with the clarity of Love that at any moment my focus wanders into not seeing the light-essence of those in my world I FEEL the discord.

What I know is this: nothing is about how someone else is making me feel, nothing is about what "they" over there are doing or not doing, nothing is about how "they" are behaving or not behaving. It is ALWAYS every single time about from what point within myself I am looking at "them". From where within myself am I choosing to observe "them"?

There really is no "them" - there is only my projection and the story I am making up in my own mind about Love.

It takes a certain sturdy-ness and steadiness to see through the eyes of Love, and when I am in alignment with that seeing I can feel myself lift off the ground in remembrance and in re-cognition that LOVE is the only thing worth seeing and noticing. Because everything else is a projection of resistance, an illusion born of our willingness to see something that's not even there. So my question is: Am I willing to see through the eyes of Love here, am I willing to see what Love sees here, am I willing to recognize what Love KNOWS here, or am I going to align with resisting this seeing?

It's a practice, a conscious decision to KNOW beyond the world of sensory perception. If we hold to the understanding that everything is Love, then doesn't it make sense that all we experience as something other than Love is our own resistance to that knowing, our own contradiction, our own negation of what we hold to be True? We don't experience discord because of "other's out there" - we experience discord because of the disparity we create in our own seeing and being.

I am grateful for the moments that let me climb deeper into this K-NOWing. Life is the greatest teacher I've ever known.


Friday, October 29

Your Elegant Sweetness

The mind creates division
And division is another name
For devastating pain.
The heart creates oneness,
And oneness is another name
For spontaneous joy.
- Sri Chimnoy

I think it's the genuine sweetness in someones voice that creates this beautiful resonance in my heart. In the space between words and things is this energy that swirls when someone is expressing themselves from a place of love, from a real conscious intention of seeing, being, and expressing love in every way. It's because I've had the opportunity to feel that connected sharing that I'm committed to surrounding myself with more of that and weeding out everything else.

I am so grateful for the beings that have shown up in my life these past years to connect at this level, from this center. Each connection has opened something amazing within myself. Every time I meet someone who is living this, every time I share with someone who is being this, I'm drawn into an even deeper love affair with everything that we are.

So to my mirrors of love in this world:
      thank you for choosing love instead of judgement
          thank you for choosing to uplift instead of tear down
              thank you for choosing to unite instead of separate
                  thank you for choosing to see yourself in me
                        thank you!
I love you!


Thursday, October 28

Fulfilling Love's Promise

"Are we going to use this relationship to awaken together?"

Imagine if this was my standard question on a first date, a job interview, a tenant/landlord inquiry, or the prelude to the blessing at my family's Thanksgiving dinner. Culturally we keep looking for “the one”: the perfect job, partner or circumstance to create our fulfillment. What if the one we are looking for is really the One, the one consciousness expressing as many? What if love is a presence - a state of mind? What if relationship is about awakening to this realization? What if life is an inside job and what you are hoping that a relationship can fulfill can only be attained in your awareness? In this book you will be trained to generate your own love experience, to say the hard things, to create an environment for being transparent, and ultimately, to create unconditional love in all your relations!

This is what I  live and embody, this is what I WILL live and embody, in all my connections!


Wednesday, October 27

Yes You

Self-love is not only a requirement but a prerequisite to fully understanding and honoring the magnificence that lives inside of you. Connect to the light within. Listen to the light inside. Know that there is none greater and dearer to you than that which lives within you. You are Love in all its glory.

Tuesday, October 26

Creating the Past, Remembering the Future

❝It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards❞ - the Queen
This has been coming up a lot for me lately - this illusion of time moving only in one direction when in fact there is no movement of anything at all. Time does not move me. I move time. Time does not flow around me, time flows FROM me. Time is completely perceptual, a dimension of consciousness only. So then why is there this condition that memory can only be accessed in one direction when the very idea of linear direction itself is made-up? I have these experiences sometimes that I'm actually observing the me I appear to be right now from a distant "future" point on the space-time continuum, that this awareness that I am is the awareness of the future 'me' who has already had all of the experiences of this lifetime (all versions of them) and is now looking "back" to trace her steps back to the point she's at - that I am a memory she's having from "over there" in the future. In a sense, I am a memory my future self is having...

I know, I shouldn't be so careless with my crazy like this plastering it all over the internet. I blame whoever has been dosing my tap water with LSD.

Thursday, October 21

Life is So Intensely Gorgeous

That I get to wake up to the most inspiring view everyday constantly brings me into a deep state of gratitude. I woke up to a fog-filled colorful morning today and just felt myself fall into an even more profound sense of love and gratitude for my world, for my life, and the way it all unfolds. I love the beauty of our world. I love the beauty we are capable of discovering in every second of this life.

We live in such an incredible world. There is so much beauty to explore, to discover, to come face to face with in every moment. We may sometimes fall under the illusion that we know this world, that we know what this view we come into day after day is all about, we may tell ourselves that when we look we are truly seeing this living paradise that surrounds us every which way, but I am under the clear impression that we don't. That there is so much more for us to discover here, there is so much more breath-taking beauty contained in everything is absolutely and loudly clear to my eyes.

Friday, October 15

Thank You, I Love You: Choosing to Live Acknowledgement

I've always had this ability to see the best route to something. When someone starts talking about something, some problem or something that needs to get done, my mind goes into computation mode thinking up the most efficient way to do it. I see lists, or steps, charts or whatever else and instantly begin to organize the information. Sometimes I even feel like I'm looking at multiple screens simultaneously in my mind and one of them pops out or stands out. It's an automatic process and response and it's only now that I'm seeing the reasons I became manager of basketball teams in high school, or co-president of the dance club, or a restaurant manager, or was left in charge of running a 1/2 million dollar project without supervision. I'm a natural born leader, I've always been one. Even the personality tests told me so. I can see why every employer or supervisor I've ever had wanted to keep me longer. I've never been let go or fired from a job. It was always me that flew away, and up until now, up until these recent weeks of writing cover letters and refreshing my resume, I hadn't really thought to acknowledge the way my mind works, the way I work.

Thursday, October 7

Faces of Love

The most amazing thing I'm learning right now is the power of authenticity, integrity, and acknowledgement. I'm being introduced over and over again to beings who are LIVING the reality of Being Love in every way, with such openness and transparency. It's INSPIRING and ENERGIZING. On my first Be Love Radio show today I got to connect with Ryland, a being choosing to show up as Love in his world and community - it's a MUST listen. CHOOSING is the key word. We all have this amazing capacity to choose how we show up in our world, to choose who we're going to be, what we're going to represent. And the most powerful thing to witness and to connect with is the actual practice of this intention, this decision to BE LOVE.

Someone who is living this practice in their day to day world resonates in a way that the more they express who they are, the more you feel yourself opening to allow more of this transforming power stream we call Love. There's an authenticity to them, a transparency, an openness that really lets you connect not only to them, but to the deepest most profound aspects of yourself - in that connection you feel it, you are them, they are you, you are the same powerful essence showing up as two. Everyone I spoke to who listened to the show today FELT it, and my heart soared for it. THIS is what I want. Making this connected stream, giving this power more avenues to make itself known, to make itself available for all of us who choose to truly show up in Love and as Love in the world,. I want to broadcast at this frequency all day every day. I want all the Lovers to feel connected, plugged in, and inspired to keep embodying this choice, this call to be the more that we are.

I didn't know I was going to branch off from the group radio show I was doing for this. It just flowed. A small nudge turned into a deep call - DO THIS, create a channel that is dedicated to bringing shows about the power of love, being love, embodying love, CHOOSING love. And the few amazing reflectors I consulted only said YES, DO IT, GO FULL SPEED AHEAD. And so here it is. Tune in, tap in, stay tuned to for more amazing shows, and share it with everyone you know.

All I can say is, I am so grateful for the exchanges I get to have in this world. I am so grateful for the beings who come to make my world so much brighter and fuller by simply being who they are.
As the embodiments of love, how shall we live? What shall we do and what shall we not do? How shall we live? How shall we demonstrate what we know, deep in our heart? How are we to make real in this world what moves silently within us all? It is not enough to ask and answer, Who am I? That is only half the equation of wisdom. The other half is to ask and answer, How shall I live? But answer slowly, and deeply. The first shout is likely not it. You've got to get down below the surface.
How shall I live? is the question that brings us from the mountaintop of inner realization to the valley of daily living. Here, in the valley of daily living, is where our realization is polished and tested. This is where we show ourselves, where we tell the truth about our love and loves, where we finally make sense of the whole thing not in words and ideas and theories, but in the simple way we touch living things. In our daily living is where we demonstrate what we know about being an embodiment of love. - Robert Rabbin

Let your Heart lead you, for it will only lead you into your bliss, into the center of connectedness that dwells and is alive inside of you.

Love is the only reality. And now it is the only topic.


Tuesday, October 5

Oo We, Yes We

I've got a bottle, sweet the victory
I've got your love, the power of your glory
Aah, Ooh we, alright

You've got your love and I've got mine
Put them together, and they work fine
Do you believe me, baby

Sunday, October 3

At Rest

My Heart leaps each time my mind wanders
As if to say "Stay, Be Still, Be Here"
Into the deep emptiness inside
I am swallowed
- k. OM

Thursday, September 30

I Reiki You

It was a few years ago that my curiosity with energy work and energy play took me into the world of Reiki. I got my first degree attunement/certification, then my second, and will at some point go for the master attunement. Why not? I'm a "go all the way with every adventure I step into" kinda gal. I had been reading about chakra systems and the like for years before I stepped into playing with these kinds of reality constructs. It was adding the practice of actually dealing with the body and everything else that appears in this world as just patterns of energy that made all the theories and abstractions about an energetic playground real.

Then enter the world of quantum physics. This shifted the experience and practice of energy play to a different level for me. I discovered Matrix Energetics, or maybe it discovered me, and off I went to explore the field of miracles. I went and immersed myself in the concepts and practices. I got my level 1 and 2, and attended the practitioner certification class because I just wanted more. I got to and continue to get to experience my world and environment in a really indescribable way - a way that keeps morphing so quickly that my concepts have to keep expanding and my mind has to keep short-circuiting. Whatever I know, however well I know it, is a box of limitation I impose upon myself. Naturally I'll keep participating in this field just to maintain the level of awareness it brings about when you choose to engage with your reality as only light and information, and then remind yourself that even that is a limiting box you're choosing to play in.

I put together a little video a little while ago on how anyone can really transform their experiences while holding an energetic model of reality and themselves. If you see yourself as an energetic being in an energetic environment, where all you allow yourself to see is a field of light and information every which way you turn, then the "stuff" of your world becomes much more malleable than if you were to look out into your world and see solid physical fixed hard stuff. Whatever lens you choose to view yourself and your world with presents you with a specific type of experience. It's the physics of this space-time playfield.

So here's the vid getting a little into it:


Sunday, September 26

What does $1.2 Million look like?

Money dreams don't really come to me that often. I dream all sorts of things, most of which come true. And I've had dreams of "stuff" showing up that does end up showing up in really fun ways. But money dreams, I didn't used to experience. Not like this one. I woke up with the echoing of:
$1.2 Million
It's $1.2 Million
I kind of just stayed in bed a bit puzzled and then started to think about what that even means. It was specific. It wasn't raining money or there wasn't a pot of gold in a mystical forest. There was just this distinct exact echo: $1.2 million. $1, 200,000. What does $1.2 million mean? What does that look like? I could think of stuff: a large estate, cars, luxury, ease, travel, boating, $1,000 pants, and $500 lunch tabs - that kind of stuff. But I couldn't really SEE the dollar translation, the stack of money bills. The physical figure.

Not that I really needed to see it. I was just curious. 

I love money. Money and I have an awesome relationship and if I'm at the point of dreaming about millions, HEY, who am I to question it!!!

After all, Money and I are made out of the same stuff! So what does $1.2 Million look like? After some thought in bed I realized, it looks like ME.

I love this life!


Saturday, September 25

I Love My Brain

It is a genetic imperative to explore the brain.  Why? Because it's there.  If you are carrying around in your head 100 billion mainframe computers, you just have to get in there and learn how to operate them.  There is nothing in the outside universe that isn't mirrored and duplicated inside your brain. - T. Leary
I love this 3 pounds stuff in my skull that processes billion bits of data second after second. The more I work on my book(s) (apparently working on one book wasn't enough), the more I'm AMAZED at the amount of information my brain/mind opens to flow. There is so much going on around me, and yet I can focus and concentrate as though the only thing happening is me writing. But then the kettle clicks and even though I'm not paying attention to it, I HEAR it. My dog moves, and even though I'm not paying attention to her, I see her move in the peripheral. All this information is being processed at the same time as I'm downloading thoughts and putting them into words through these fast moving fingers on this laptop. None of it I have to consciously think about and execute. It's all simultaneous. Immediate.  Automatic.

It's just brilliant!

Gosh we're amazing (organic) computers!

KidRobot ~

Thursday, September 23

I Am Paradise

I used to have this charming soulbrother who would say to me "you are paradise in human form".

Lately I've been so in touch with the bliss center of my own being that I know he was on to something. We all have this inner oasis inside ourselves. It makes itself known, it makes itself available when we turn the focus of our mind and attention back into our inner world. I feel it around my heart and when my attention turns on itself, this feeling takes over everything. Everything I'm aware of, everything I feel or notice in my world suddenly presents itself in a new light, in a more serene and surreal light.

But it's the realest thing there is.

This center of pure something-ness that words can only point to. There is no paradise "out there" in the world, this is the paradise, this center within myself. This is the heaven. You are this. I Am this. I Am Paradise. I Am Heaven. As you are.
He who looks outside [his own heart] DREAMS, he who looks inside [his own heart] AWAKENS - Carl Jung
The greatest love and lover of all things lives inside ourselves, inside our own heart. That is the only true retreat, the only true rest, the only true center of fulfillment.

What a flawless design this whole thing is

in bliss,

Thursday, September 16

The Happy Town of Single-dom

I guess it's only known news once I've blogged about it. I go on about my life without ever really generating quarterly reports. Though I should, 'cause the way the majority of the lovers in my life know about the happenings in Kid Town is through my electronic blah blah blah's. I've never been one to pick up the phone and make announcements of my stuff and with all this physical distance and absence of loveface time with my awesome friends, I've gotten worse at the whole thing.

Clearly, my awesomeness has no boundaries.

I've always known that relationships were meant to be easy, and I proved myself right this time. When I realized that there was no such thing as endings, that there was only transformation, that you never leave anyone in your experience but rather just change the role you play in their lives, the way I moved and communicated in my relationships became more open, more transparent, more based and centered in love. My new conclusion and experience is that we can come together in love and gratitude, but we can also go our different ways in love and gratitude. So when it was clear that my perfect practice partner and I were traveling in different directions in life, the transition back into friendship-land flowed naturally, with continued open communication and heart-centered love.

That was really all there is to it. Nothing but love flowing and transforming every which way.

So now I'm looking to see how my perfect so and so, who is where I am and headed in the same direction of where I'd love to go in this world, forms himself before my eyes.

We'll dance all night long, and laugh, and talk about this delicious ridiculous world endlessly. We'll make amazing (veggie) meals together.. We'll hold hands and make definite plans, travel the globe, and bask in the still center living in our hearts. We'll spin in love, we'll sleep in love, we'll make more love. We'll do everything there is to do and more, and we'll do nothing at all. He is wise, and centered, knowing of his own power and more. He loves to smile and boogie down till the sun comes up. He's taller than I am and filled with light. He is light. He's rad!

Tell him I say hi when you see him!

"Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along." - Rumi

This quote is precisely the reason I'm looking down my shirt saying "okay, you can come out now lovemate!"

In Love All Ways,

Writing A Best Seller!

Right now I'd compare writing a book to the practice of asanas (yoga poses) - stretch a little further, hold this pose a little longer, deepen...

I'm used to writing articles. My mind is fully flexed in the ability to allow 1000 words to come through in one sitting, that now when I reach about that, it starts packing up its bags. Okay mind, stay in this pose a little longer, flow a little more, stretch...AH! 

Here's to stretching to 3000 words in one sitting! 

Openly Allowing,

P.S. Tune in to an awesome show with Jon Marro (the gorgeousness behind ) on speaking your truth tomorrow on Joy Vibe Radio

Wednesday, September 15

It's Always Been Love

I'm not sure what called it forth. I was laying in bed before sleep, and there it was, a flood of bliss coming over me followed by a mental image of my grandmother. It was so vivid. In that moment I was sure I was feeling her essence - the who she really is-ness of it - the who we all really are-ness of it. I hadn't thought of her in years. I left her arms when I had just turned 10 to move to Canada for my mom's job, and aside from long distance phone calls here and there hadn't been in her presence ever since. She transitioned years ago. And yet just like that there she was standing in my mind, alive in her most purest forms radiating something I could only describe as bliss.

I don't believe in death. I don't think I've ever really been convinced about it. It's always been foreign to me when someone in my family passes, 'cause I don't feel it - I don't feel their absence. So I concluded, nothing dies. Yes, something happens to the body. Everything transforms. Life is just a series of physical metamorphosis. Sure.  This Love-Bliss-Essence taking on forms, shedding them to only re-cloth itself once again into a different form. And I don't mean reincarnation, I don't believe in that either. But I mean...what comes and goes as mother, father, brother and more - that is a deathless presence that I feel in everyone - whether they have a body or have shed it.

I used to call her Emayeh - that's one of the Amharic terms we use for grandmothers, loosely translating as "sweet mother" or "dear mother" - a term of endearment. She was the sweetest being in my world while I was growing up, giving me her last dollar, teaching me to cook on a little ground level coal cooker that she would prepare for me 'cause I was only like 7 years old and 4 feet tall. She was nurturning, and as I look back at my mental recordings of her, there was a mystery to her too. I knew her stories sure, but now I see how she wore her infiniteness so visibly. I had a different bond with her and my father than I had with anyone else in my family, for reasons that I don't really know. All I'm confronted with when I look at that bond is this recognition...that we've all always been so much more than meets the physical eye. So much more.

It feels amazing to see all of those early moments come so alive within me, moments I haven't thought about in years, all because of a feeling that washed over me before I went to sleep. I doubt any of us will really ever come to understand the depth of Love that manifests as the light beings in our lives. No matter their form or role, they've always been this pure essence of Love. All ways.

Deep Inside the Mystery,

Friday, September 10

Puppy LoOovE!

Best love face EVER!

Ah snuggle fest!

Best feeling EVER!

I could just live with squeaky fidgeting little puppies and be the happiest squealing with joy person on the planet!

THANK YOU for this awe-mazing day!

Thursday, September 9

Best Life Ever

I walk out of the meeting room giddy in my heart for no particular reason, the main door opens and it's the mailman. We lock eyes. He gives a happy "HI" with a big smile on his face, I return with "THANK YOU" with a smile to match his as he plops the mail down onto the ground. Other meetings, he'll yell back "you're welcome" as he walks up the stairs out of our little building.

Every day I ask this Universe - how come you get even more and more beautiful every time I wake up to you?

Saturday, September 4

Gently Breathing

The wind is blowing at the trees outside my window like they're a summer dress on a beautiful woman. It's moments like these that I feel how magnificent my life truly is.

Tuesday, August 31

"My Life Plan" According to Kid

I'm going to get another dog and a cat. I'm going to call the dog 'Kitty' and the cat 'Puppy" just for kicks.

It's a good day to be supremely amused by life!

If not today, then when?


Thursday, August 19

In That Unitive State...

21 The Self is free from desire, free from evil, free from fear.
As a man in the arms of his beloved is not aware of what is without and what is within, so a person in union with the Self is  not aware of what is without and what is within, for in that unitive state all desires find their perfect fulfillment. There is no other desire that needs to be fulfilled, and one goes beyond sorrow.

22 In that unitive state there is neither father nor mother, neither worlds nor gods nor even scriptures. In that state there is neither thief nor slayer, neither low caste nor high, neither monk nor ascetic. The Self is beyond good and evil, beyond all the suffering of the human heart.

Wednesday, August 18

Best Day Ever

I came in to work to find this on my chair!!! The blessings of each and every day multiply, and life wow's me with the amazing beings and moments in my life.

Dear Magic Bullet,

I am so freakin' excited to play with you. We'll make smoothies together, and guacamole, and salsa, and pesto, and gazpacho, and soup, and herbal facial treatments,  and yummy desserts, and so much more! Thanks for coming to play with me in my world!!! I love you!

Tuesday, August 17

Morning Bliss

I love this feeling - this deep recognition, knowing, of the amazing-ness of life that manifests itself into a full out bliss fest. YIPPEE! YAY! YES PLEASE I exclaim when the energy swirls around in my heart. AH! There's magick in choosing to dwell on the gifts of this moment. There's an ease to choosing to love and appreciate what appears. There's this comfort in trusting that Life, this magnificent intelligent Universe, is tending to the details of everything like it has been doing for eons and eons. And there is so much power in knowing and owning what and who I am, and what this entire world is.

Monday, August 16

Dear Ocean View

I am so grateful I have been basking in your beauty for the past week! I love coming home to you. I love strolling out onto the bedroom terrace to take you in. I love sitting out in the yard with the planted tomatoes and lavender and the dogs, feeling your breeze swirl all around me. I love looking out and seeing sail boats and sun light dance upon your open body. Thank you for the feelings you gift me. Thank you for having made yourSelf a part of my life. Thank you for everything that you are! I love you!

Sunday, August 15

Birthing My Magick

Do you ever wonder what our moments would be like if all we ever did was talk about all the amazing possibilities before us and everything we aspire to be, do, have in the world? Can you imagine what energy we would create around us and within us moment after moment if our focus was locked in the direction of our desired realities?

When I look ahead, I see myself continuing to be involved in work that continues to promote sustainable practices in the home, in the workplace, in the restaurants and institutions like hospitals and universities. I see myself continuing to co-create a magnificent world of conscious informed choosing. I see myself continuing to evolve and grow my commitment to serve, to continue to assist and inspire the ready mind into opening to the clarity and immense power within. I see myself continuing to do one on one work. I see myself doing tele-seminars and play-shops and creating a Heart-Awareness based community of beings who choose to experience and show up in their world from their Heart Center. They inspire me to do the same. I see myself creating more material presenting alternate ways of looking at the world and everything in it, through the heart, through a different lens, through the lens of what makes miracles possible.

Thursday, August 12

Abundant Blessings

Start the day with a little....

Then mix a little bit of this for the gorgeous ocean-view ride to work....

Climb into this at the end of the day...

And then snuggle up with these gorgeous play beings...
Life right now is abundantly beautiful, easy, and glorious!

Wednesday, August 11

worlds within worlds

thought of the moment: worlds within worlds embedded within one another - all here now. what you access, which world you show up in and which world shows up for you, is entirely dependent upon the bend of your consciousness - how the angle of Light that you are, lands upon the field of infinite patterns, the field of infinite worlds.

it's an interesting picture in my mind...

Sunday, August 8

Garden Fresh

The other night we settled down with some soul friends for some grown-in-the-garden home cooked goodness. It was amazing, to be able to just stroll into the garden, pick out the desired goodies, and then put them together into the most amazing veggie curry I've ever had.

I love earth. I love what she gives to us and how good she is to us. I love that we can grow our own food like that. I love that just in this year alone I've learned SO MUCH about farming, and organic practices, and seeds, and compost, and the environment, and US.

Can we just altogether say...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

I love this life!

It Was All A Dream!

"When you realize it's a dream you can afford to play. The same thing happens when you realize that ordinary life is a dream, just a movie, just a play. You don't become more cautious, more timid, more reserved. You start jumping up and down and doing flips, precisely because it's all a dream, it's all pure Emptiness...You don't feel less, you feel more -because you can afford to. You are no longer afraid of dying, and therefore you are not afraid of living. You become radical and wild, intense and vivid, shocking and silly. You let it all come pouring through, because it's all your dream. Life then assumes its true intensity, its vivid luminosity, its radical effervescence." -Ken Wilber

Friday, July 30


Everything about this amazing electric life is meant to be made love to. Everything.

Super Wow Video: The Miracle Is You by Kute Blackson

The miracle is you!

When you were first conceived you were a double strand of DNA in a fertilized ovum. Dividing 50 times, and you had over 100 trillion cells. More than all the stars in the milky way. Then you were born into existence.

Each of your cells do over 6 trillion things per second. Just think how a human body knows how to kill germs, digest, make babies, and talk, all at the same time.

Wednesday, July 28

Wiped Clean

More and more I wake up oblivious to where I am and who's around waiting to play in my days. It takes a little longer for the story of me to reload into my consciousness upon waking, that there's this period of blankness. Who am I? Where am I? What am I? No-thing. Blank. Complete absence of story-awareness.

OH YEA! Now I remember, I'm so and so living at such and such playing with so and so, and so on.

Friday, July 23


At least 90% of the people I meet tell me I have a calming presence or that in talking to me they feel more grounded.

Here's the thing.

Beyond the realm of mind, there is no movement. No world. No story. No adventure. No-thing. Empty and void of the charades of waking consciousness, a deep abiding stillness lives inside of you. Go there. Visit often.

The mind offers you numberless mansions to play in, to explore. But to walk out carrying the weight of every experience and to never rest, is to walk amongst your waking world without ever setting down to sleep.

Stop more. Breathe more. Step out of the mind realm more. Breathe. Be. Still. Rest. Let go more.

Then if you must pick up your stories and go into your adventures, do so knowing you can always stop, drop everything and come back to your Still Center.

Be Easy

Wednesday, July 21

Enlightened Dog Drama

Friends always ask me if I ever have "bad" days since I'm 99% of the time at the center of my peace. Until recently I would have said I rarely, if ever, feel powerless or overwhelmed about anything. I know how to focus myself and manage my mind, on most any topic to the point that I get the results I want quickly, if not immediately.

Enter my new life in an apartment with my almost 3 year old dog. For the first time in HER life, I started learning just how barky she was, and she was having to learn to modify her behavior to suit our new diggs. Before, in a house with a basement, an upstairs, and a backyard, no one really  noticed the barking. We all had ample space for ourselves. Even if it was annoying or at times irritating, it'd all be forgotten in seconds because she'd go outside to play in the yard, or upstairs to nestle against some wall or something else. Out of sight. Out of hearing distance.

Short-Ciruciting Cross-Eyed Moments Looked Like This 
It wasn't until I moved into a one bedroom apartment that I realized how disturbing it all is. Holy in-my-face shrieking. Go away! And the neighbors noticed too and sent in their complaints to the property manager. That did it. That added to my already frustrated short-circuiting brain and cross-eyed face. I'd already begun to work with her 'cause it just was not fun to be on the phone or skype with a client or friend with her noise-making. I started having to coordinate things, putting her in the kennel an hour before a call or something else, just to have the right atmosphere. I started to realize that I'd like more freedom in my home - the freedom to have any kind of noise in my apartment without my adorable dog freaking out. The freedom to have anyone stop by without Leela feeling like she has to sound the alarm. The freedom to enjoy and love her without wanting to gouge out my ears to preserve my peace.

Monday, July 19

Why "OM" ॐ?

Most of my online profiles say "Kidest OM ॐ" and in the past week I've been asked what that's about several times. So my mind exclaimed - to the blog mobile!

The short version is this - when I began studying about this world and the nature of reality, I came across traditions that identified A U M as the ultimate sound, the original sound of all existence. In essence, the sound that I am, the unique tone or frequency that makes up this me that shows up in your world is birthed by the ultimate sound - I am a song that Creation sings, daughter of OM in a sense. So I began signing my name in that way - Kidest OM, for that is my true last name if I were to have and give a name for who/what I am.

The end!

(And we all lived happily ever after!)

Actually that's not all - the translation of my earth-given last name means something like "his kingdom" or  "his empire" and my first name means "blessed" or "saint" so really we're not branching too far away with AUM.

Okay now The End. Really!

Saturday, July 17

I'm Out There!

Consciousness is the most amazing thing non-thing in this Universe. I had this thought yesterday that I blasted on my facebook pages...

the neuronal pathways you form in the brain as you re-wire yourself into alignment with your desired or preferred reality is what's showing up in the "outer world" as new opportunities, circumstances, people, and conditions. The inner pathways you form and the outer pathways you experience "out there" are one and the "in here" so "out there"!

I feel everything I have experienced and lived, studied and devoured hungry for the understanding of what this world is, is converging into the realization that is occupying my mind right now and further deepening and transforming everything that I've ever known myself to be. It is not the manifested world that carries the answers we seek. It is the states of being we forever generate inside ourselves that out-pictures onto the screen that is the waking world.

As within, so without - not philosophically, not metaphorically, but literally. As you re-wire your circuitry, as you re-arrange your inner home - the order of your own thoughts, expectations, beliefs, dreams - as you form  new synapses and new neural pathways based on the reality of what you want to see, the picture in front of you that is your life in the waking world CHANGES.

My spaceship, she transforms!!!

Wednesday, July 14

I Love this World!

I'm head over heels in love with this life. It never ends - the sense of awe for the way my moments arrange themselves. Each moment bringing something profound, each action unveiling a miracle, each breath bringing with it a feeling of love out of this world. Aren't we lucky to be alive to this? Aren't we fortunate to get to live and breathe the magic of this inexplicable world?

Miracles and magick abound - in fact, that's all this entire world is made of - all the particles of light have a miraculous magick about them - all that appears as the manifested world has this wondrous quality about it, and if you quiet yourself just for a moment, you will hear all the secrets of this wilderness being whispered to you. It all just takes me higher and higher!

Let's keep flying higher and higher!  Oh yes, LET'S!

Tuesday, July 13

Dear Sony Vaio

You are the bestest laptop EVER! Thank you for coming into my little happy bubble. Thank you for being so pretty and fast and loaded with amazing goodness and just wonderful and amazing. I love you! And I know we'll have many amazing moments and years together.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!

Baby Smiles as Meditation

You know when you're having a frazzled day and something pops up in your face to get you to slow down, get back to earth, and just remem...