Monday, December 28

Being Unrealistic

I caught myself about to say "you need to be a little more realistic" and held back the laughter at my own insane thought. There's this amazing clip of Will Smith on youtube where he talks about being unrealistic. Electricity was a completely unrealistic thought. It's completely unrealistic to walk in to a room, flip a little plastic knob and get electricity. It is such a ridiculously outrageous notion. But someone thought it was possible, and so we have electricity in every corner of our lives. Climbing into a giant metal tube and being transported thousands and thousands of kilometers through the air is completely unrealistic. It's outright crazy. But someone didn't think so, and so now we have this unbelievable ability to go from Melbourne to Seattle (so excited) through giant tubes speeding across and through the air space!

Sitting in front of a flat box looking thing and having a face-to-face conversation with someone who is geographically thousands of miles away and 12 hours in the future...yes, that's realistic. My own existence seems unrealistic to me. I mean here I am, a product of something unknown mingling with trillions of unique cells with uniquely different functions. I'm told that this body started out with a single cell that morphed itself into trillions of cells. That's realistic? Here I am thinking and breathing. Here I am moving these funny looking things I call fingers and forming out these sentences. Realistic?

Life to me is completely unrealistic in all that it brings in to creation, and yet here I am. Here you are.

Forget about being realistic in what you think is possible in your experience. Be completely unrealistic! Be dreamy. Be outrageous. Dwell in the realm of possibilities - the realm that our limited everyday conscious mind swears is an impossible realm. Know that whatever it is that you want to happen, CAN happen. It's possible! No matter how outrageous, crazy, or ridiculous your mind says it is, it CAN happen.

Being realistic is sticking to the known and refusing to expand beyond your comfort zone. Get crazy! Follow those absurd ideas. Believe that those absurd ideas of what can happen in your life ARE possible. Expand out of what you know can happen in this next instant. Because what you know is only the past. What you know is only what has happened before, what's been done before. What you know is monotonous repetition. What can your life become? Sticking to the known, being real-is-tic, is coming in to this experience and playing the same song everyone else is playing. It's like there's one record with one song on it that everyone is playing over and over, lifetime after lifetime. There's no growth in that. There's no creativity in that. There's no self-expression in that. If I'm comfortable and settled into where I am, it's only because I've stopped dreaming and believing in the possibility of my dream - whatever that dream is.

Growth comes to us because we not only DARE to DREAM but we dare to BELIEVE that our dream is possible and take steps toward it - no matter how unrealistic and crazy it may seem to our conscious mind and to the minds of those around us.

My life is half-part crazy, and half-part following my crazy and acting on behalf of it. Over the past several years, I've gotten a lot of "Kid, this is crazy!" My old email address used to even be krazykid07. I'm sensing a theme. And if I were to type out for myself all that I believe is ahead of me as my future right now, it would seem crazy, outrageous, and ridiculous. That's what lets me know I'm on the right track.

To fear our crazy dreams is to fear our own powerful creativity. And the only thing that fears anything is our own limited conscious mind. Who we are is fearless in nature.

Here I go again...



Friday, December 25


*susanmakesmusic* made my day today.
in a way i never ever expected.
just goes to show
that love loves to love you
in ways you can't even begin to fathom
i am so blessed with beings in my life
who constantly expand my definition of love!


Thursday, December 24

the Angels in my World

there is so much to be grateful for, so much to write, and i will do all of that soon!

everyday is a day to say THANK YOU

today, my heart is warmed by beautiful angels dancing as my soulmates ~

hApPy hOLidAys
Love is all there is
every day

thank you for you
YOU reading this
you are love
dancing as the most beautiful being
life has ever brought into this world


Thursday, December 17

the Power of 10

I've been tweeting about abundance this week and thought I'd blog about one of the fun games I came across (from Catherine Ponder) for working to change your perspective so that you are an attractive force fully open to all that you desire to experience, to all that this magnificent Universe has already lined up for you. Ready yourself to receive the gifts of life by re-wiring your own thinking, expectations, and ideas of just how abundantly things can flow in to your experience.

You can call it the Power of 10, 100, 1000 OR WHATEVER other number you so choose. The object of this little exercise/game is to train yourself into expecting an increase in the good you want to experience. Generally, conditioning has human minds expecting lack, scarcity, and every other insecure expectation you can think of. Well, this little game re-wires that learned tendency if you do it consistently, if you practice it until it becomes your natural go-to thought pattern.

Let's say you want to experience an increased flow of $$ in your experience. You begin to play this game any time money moves in your experience. Whether money is coming in (payday, gift, sale, gig etc.) or going out (gift, bills, purchases etc.) of your experience you engage yourself in a thought-stream that says:

"This [dollar amount i.e. $100] is only a symbol of the infinite wealth available to me. I am so thankful that 10 times this amount or [dollar amount x 10 i.e. $1,000] is right now coming to me quickly and in the most perfect way. I am abundantly blessed."

The trick is to practice this train of thought so that you're not flowing and reinforcing the old thought-habits of insecurity that say "oh but I don't have enough" or "oh but this might not last me until...". You are literally forming new networks of positive and abundant expectation in your brain that simultaneously change the energy you radiate out into your Universe - it will change the very make-up of your being. To experience abundance, you must Be Abundant - meaning you must vibrate your whole being in the resonance/frequency of abundance. Think about it for a second...what do you think someone who already has plenty of what you want to experience is thinking right now? What are their thought-streams or expectations on the subject like? That's the energy realm you want to resonate in.

You can do this exercise on anything you enjoy experiencing in your life. It will train your mind that whatever it is that you enjoy, whatever it is that you're wanting to experience, there's always more of it coming. Always. Abundantly. Endlessly. The Universe is quiet capable of flooring you with just how loved and adored you are in this experience, just how provided for and taken care of you are in this wilderness of magic and make-belief moments. You just have to turn on your thought-valves to receive what's in store.

There are 10 times more gifts coming to you for every gift you've already received or are giving. There are 10 times more gigs coming your way for every gig you have right now. For every sale you make, there are ten times more sales coming. There are 10 times the amount of clients you have right now coming. For every door of opportunity you see open right now, there are 10 times more doors opening quickly and immediately in the most perfect way. For every thing that makes you laugh now, there is so much more coming to make you laugh even more.

Can you feel the power of 10? Have fun with it. You'll end up with stuff like enough scarves to drape every room in a castle.

Abundance of any kind is not imposed upon us from something outside - it is our own state of being made manifest.

Be Abundant to the power of your choosing and experience the effect of your own chosen and practiced state of being. You can!

in Abundance,

Monday, December 14

Being Open

I've developed an openness I didn't know was possible, one that has me knowing what's at the heart of every face, whether that face is known or unfamiliar. My heart extends in every direction - there is no one person who is more my soul-mate than another. There is no one person who is less my soul-sister or soul-brother than another.

We've trained ourselves to specialize our connections based on the stories we collect. "You mean something to me because I know you" or "well I don't know you so I'm going to close myself off to you" is trained self-preservation at its best. It's a well practiced pattern in the human mind. We're so much more in how connected we are. Every discovery of an-other is a discovery of mySelf. How do you separate Life into "special" and "not special" - how do you hold one face to mean more than another when it is all the face of One Life, the face of Love?

In preserving your separation from everything...from your closing yourself off from that person or this person, in your being selective on who you let into your heart, you miss out on experiencing yourSelf from the beauty of another one of Your own angles. It's all You. Every angle, every perspective is your own. Every pair of eyes that look at you and that look for you, are your own. You are Eternity looking at yourself through numberless points of view. There's nothing else.
"From each, Love demands a mystic silence.
What do all seek so earnestly? Tis Love.

Love is the subject of their inmost thoughts,
In Love no longer "Thou" and "I" exist,
For self has passed away in the Beloved.

Now will I draw aside the veil from Love,
And in the temple of mine inmost soul
Behold the Friend, Incomparable Love.
He who would know the secret of both worlds
Will find that the secret of them both is Love."
                                                        - Attar

Be Love. Be All. Be Open.

Pranav Mistry

Talk about the digital age...

Saturday, December 12

12/12 and the Magic of Moving On

Over a month ago, I had a dream-vision of coming out of a cushioned house, following a big bear-dog like man on a bicycle (yes, clearly that's logical), climbing up the steps of experience and jumping in to try something new, to do something I've never done before. Upon coming into waking consciousness, I heard the me that I was in that dream say "that was the best three months of my experience." It was a distinct thought I brought into waking consciousness with me, and I felt the real and full enjoyment I felt for having taken on something completely different.

And now, as I sit here staring at the picture in front of me, of a man, a dog and a bear, having just decided to move on from the weekly radio show I've been doing for three months, I smile at yet another envisioned preview and the feeling that it brought along with it to reveal to me of this exact moment a month in advance. What comes through it all is a feeling of appreciating the steps that effortlessly assemble themselves before me and dissolve to make place for something new. I don't like to do anything that doesn't give me a full serving of joy, because when I'm in joy, when I'm coming from a place of joy then that's the space I'm taking and inviting those listening and reading into. For me, it's about energy, it's always about energy.

One of the guests we had said something to the effect that in life, in your moments, you are either under the trampoline banging your head every time you try to leap, or you are on top of the trampoline leaping without bounds on how high you can go. I agree, if something feels like it's too tight of a box, whatever it is, then your being is saying, is telling you that you are ready to spread your wings.

I shift into change when it begins to turtle into my experience. I take steps without hesitation. Openly. Rejoicing. I trust those inner impulses, the petals of my own being pushing themselves out to unfold. I've come to trust the process so much, and I've come to recognize that all these temporary appearances in this magical field we call Life are designed to show us exactly what we're capable of. What are you capable of? Have you ever asked yourself? When I feel that internal shift, I know the steps in front of me are about to re-arrange themselves. And they effortlessly do.

Living is such a beautiful dance of trust and movement.

in so much Love,

Thursday, December 10

Coming Clean

Things reveal themselves to me.

At times days in advance, at other times years in advance. I meet people years before I "really" meet them. I notice them before they even begin to appear to play their part in my movie. I can't explain it the way I'm living it or describe how this happens. Images, previews, visions, dreams. It gets so weird sometimes that I look for the real live curtains and cameras that are constructing the play that is my life.

I'm grateful for the Yogi's that showed up, that said things begin to get weird (I'm paraphrasing) when consciousness wakes up from the illusion of this game-world.

Stories upon stories are told of Seers, and as my spontaneous meditative states get deeper and I discover even more that time, space, and every other condition we believe exists in this "physical" reality really isn't there at all, I start holding the handles on my chair a little firmer.

I woke up from sleep tasting a dish my mom makes for me in my mouth. Like really tasting it. I told my mom about it on the phone that day, only to have her tell me that she just made that very dish. With the time difference, I was literally tasting the dish just as my mom was finished making it.

Time and space are such persistent illusions that you can pierce through. If you let yourself. I answer a question before it's even asked and only realize I've done so when the "other" says "how did you know that's what I was going to ask?" The only gap that exists between you and an-"other" is the one you create when you believe that space is real.

There's more and I think I'll make a point to write about them, since I'm not the only one experiencing the malleability of this reality and the magic of what we are...or are not, as the case may be.

Now seems like the right time to let my crazy really hang out all over the place.

in Dreams,

Tuesday, December 8

unexpected Mail!

lucky to be loved
by my canadianBug!
thank you sweet LisaBug  
love and hugs through the ether☺

Saturday, December 5

Mom and Dad

Something kept me up last night before I finally dozed off to sleep. I felt a powerful surge of love and appreciation for my mom, my one and only remaining parent, that then turned itself into awe and adoration for both my parents.

Physical distance is an amazing thing. All the ways my mom was pure love to me now shine boldly and brightly. I can feel every ounce of love she has ever extended toward me. I can't say "she's all I have" for life has taught me that I actually have the whole entire Universe. What I can say is that I see more clearer than ever today of how she, in her own perfect and beautiful way, is a shining example of how love expresses itself in and as every human being. A mother's love but mirrors the greatest love of all! And my mother is beautiful and stunning in the way she loves. Her generosity alone, with everyone, floors me to no end. She is endless giving, a gift that keeps on giving, parading around as a playful human being. And she's been an amazing teacher to me of what strength, love, and generosity can look like.

I was blessed with an equally amazing father. He totally walked on water to my eyes. I worshiped him in ways that to this day I have no words for. To my child eyes he was something extraordinary. I spent my evenings tucked under his arm refusing to go to bed, sneaking into my mom and dad's room so I can sleep on the floor on his side of the bed, and waking up early so I could see him before work and have his breakfast with him, just the two of us. And he spoiled me to the core. Sneaking me money even though my mom had said not to, or getting me whatever toy I wanted, when I wanted it, in so many ways, in love, in gifts, in attention, he gave me all of it. He taught me early on the same lesson that I now continue to learn on a Cosmic level...whatever it is that I want, all I have to do is ask, and it's mine!  And I never have to settle in love or anything else for I deserve all of what I ask for and more. Powerful.

My dad died when I was 12. Everyone expected me to fall apart and walked on eggshells around me because of that expectation, but that didn't happen. Instead, a bigger love revealed itself and walked me into all sorts of miracles and continues to do so to this day. I don't know anything about why I'm here or why I came through these amazing beings into this world. What I do know is that each step in my human experience has been a revelation in love. And that revelation began with my parents. My parents and everything that they are is a revealing of love. So today I send out the thanks I can muster up with all of my being and radiate it out to them - my mom in Ottawa, and my dad on the other side of the veil. Thank you for who you are in this moment, and thank you for being who and what you are to me. I love you. Immensely!

in love,

Friday, December 4

Being Queen of the Scarves

One of my beautiful loves wrote to say:

"I like the picture of you and the horsey.  AND I LOVE THE MONKEY PICTURE!!! How are you? You need to talk more about your social activities. your adventure. your personal life....i need to know more how you're adjusting and loving!!!"

First of all, I love him! I was just talking about him the other day and POOF there he is in my inbox!

I have been in Oceanside Vancouver Island for a total of 66 days now. At first my activities included nothing but being awe struck at the beauty of the natural world around me. I just walked around trying not to let my tongue hang out too much. It's stunningly beautiful out here.

One of the first things I did when I got here was seek out like-minded beings. Beings who work daily with their own mind so that they can achieve the experiences they want. Immediately, I found them, gathered them up and invited them into my little home in the woods. We've been meeting every few weeks cheering each other on and helping each other steer in the direction of our dreams ever since. We'll soon be growing to a total of 8 in the group!

  Aside from that I'm getting to go work on a really cool project right now. First, check out the pictures here - this is my view from outside my work place. I can see the mainland and the rocky mountains across the ocean. I keep exclaiming "this isn't real" to who ever is next to me because it always looks like a painting at some art gallery rather than a reality in front of me. It's stunning every time. Ocean. Mountains. Weather where I'm still only walking out with my spring coat on...
Back to the work thing's awesome having a steady stream of money coming in. I love LOVE coaching and having clients and doing what I love to do. But until my stream of clients and such becomes steady, getting another source of income was a good idea. I love having money! Like a lot! The job itself came together like magic. It all happened fast. I got the interview, got hired the next day, and started work three days later. Then conveniently the Universe put someone who lives close to me in that same job, so now I have a ride to and from work (which is about a 40min drive away) every day. Awesome yes? Yes, very awesome! I'm working with individuals with various backgrounds, everything from a really cool deputy Sheriff to a raw food queen to a Halalt Native who lives on the reserves and comes in and some really cool other fascinating experiences sit in the office with me. As of late, we may be making an 8 minute documentary on a farming and local food consumption related topic to submit to some sort of festival.  Cool right? Getting to interact with farmers is a new experience all on its own too. We had an open house the other day and each person there was an inspiration station all on his or her own. All and all, it's really awesome! Next up, I want to keep finding ways to keep doing what I love to do. I'm getting articles published right now in various mags, I'm doing the radio show, I'm coaching, I'm tweeting, and facebooking, and it's all perfect and I want to keep doing more of it!

The weekly radio show is keeping me on my toes. We seem to be getting more and more interesting guests and topics unfolding every week, which just adds more fuel to the fire within me. It's amazing just how much readiness there is for people to speak about and listen to the kind of topics we're putting out there. It's SO exciting to keep meeting people on this level and create this energy together...this thing that feels so good everywhere all over!

I'm not sure what else I can add to my report. The food variety here is SUPER. I have found poutine complete with cheese curds, something my Ottawa friends thought was unlikely, I have found fried tofu at the grocery store, and there's even a thai food place and Pho place around the corner from my work. 

What else? What else? OH! Scarves. I have a thing for scarves. I should probably stop talking about it but I can't. The prettiest scarves keep finding me. I went out on my lunch break with one of my co-workers the other day and found the perfect place selling MORE scarves, the exact kind I had passively been wishing I had!!! Soon I will build a fortress of scarves and call it my tower of love.

I'm also in the process of clarifying for myself where I want to live, besides California I mean. Sometimes I think living in the woods is heaven sent. Other times I feel like I may be ready to find my own space closer to the city where I have access to public transit and the like. This is something I'm still clarifying and asking for guidance on as I can't quite see what would be best yet. But as always, I trust the process of discovery and know the Universe is working overtime to take me into the best possible situations! It always has! Like magic miracles after miracles take my hand and lead me into the next best thing.

Family's really good, I'm making an effort to call my mom regularly - it's taking some training on my part as I'm usually pretty horrible with using the phone. My cousin's moving out to Ottawa from Ethiopia in January, so here's to a visit down that way in the near future. Dog is as beautiful as ever. And really, I'm getting to meet and be around some really amazing people on all levels in an amazingly beautiful place.

How's that for an update??!!?


love love love,

Wednesday, December 2

You Just Keep Revealing Your Never Ending Beauty

From my facebook live feed:

"inner and outer combine as oceans of infinite clarity" - Shane

"waves collide with rocks as prayer songs echo through the moonlit fog. huzzah! huzzah! the full moon shines, lighting our hearts with the remembrance of ourselves." - Ro

"And when duality is recognized as oneness, the full self can be recognized and expressed without resistance. That is clarity." - Shalene

Lucky that I'm in love with the light of You.

Beautiful beings cover this earth, look and see with your heart. I just want to grab each face and say...Thank You.

Beauty is everywhere.

in love,

Baby Smiles as Meditation

You know when you're having a frazzled day and something pops up in your face to get you to slow down, get back to earth, and just remem...