Wednesday, June 10

Re-Lit

I feel it so well. I know it so well. The buzz. The high. I'm in it more often than I'm not.

Hi, my name is Kid, and I'm a joy-junkie.

So, when the picture re-arranges in a way that my mind can't organize itself around, I can feel the slight drop from my usual platform. Only it's not so much a drop as it is a hazy overcast, of thoughts too distant to make out but too subtle to dissolve, enough to see through but not quite clear enough to walk through. What is this vague feeling? I couldn't make it out.

So this morning, on my usual walk, I said out loud "okay, I need help with this one, 'cause I can't see it enough to clear it." And I moved on. Still at ease. Still feeling the added weight, light as it was. Still knowing the nature of things. Still amused by the picture. I moved on.

Who am I? What is this world?

Hours later, words later, meditations later, at the end of this day the strongest urge came over me to go see who was downstairs chatting and laughing with the family and the friends.

There she was. Bright eyes. Smile wide. And wrapping her arms around me, not once but three times.

She was help.

Just like that the subtle residue of the morning's distant mental acrobats dissolved to nothingness. Everything is clear again. I can see. I can feel.

It amazes me how quickly things come. It amazes me all the ways my moments, my mind, my being arrange and re-arrange in a given day. It amazes me that I can feel even the slightest dip in my tone.

It amazes me how aware we're capable of being.

And most of all, it amazes me that I'm here in this living demonstration of how Love is constantly listening. And how many open beautiful beings are around for those instances you need a kick-start.

Thank you for what you are.

in Love and thankfulness,
-me

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