Friday, October 13

the pain of imagined separation

every anxiety or stress i ever experience is based on the idea that i am separate from my source. regardless of the form the anxiety takes, this is the surest thing i have noticed. any kind of disorder in thoughts, or any kind of experience where i feel conflicted, if i look closely i totally see that underneath all the surface thoughts is the idea that i am limited, that i am separate, or that i am without the source. whenever i pause to look at the situation, i can see my discomfort and know that something isn't right, but it doesn't always dawn on me that in that moment i had attached to the idea that i was on my own in this life. this idea is layered with thoughts that change in appearance and content but that essentially reflect this at their core. i don't always recognize this. i'd like to be more aware of this and grasp the true nature of the "problem" whenever it arises.

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