Sunday, October 29


Look inside, see if your rebellion is rooted in love.

Seek your true family, the community in which you feel at home. There you will find the quality of communication you long for.

Take time regularly for some form of meditation which steadies you in your center. Breathe into the Hara center (a hand's width below the navel), and collect your energies there.

Give whatever you would like to now, in full awareness of your boundless richness.

Meditate on this statement: "The truth which you speak has neither past nor future. It is, and that is all it needs to be."

Friday, October 27

the compassion of God

"And in the Bhakti Yoga Sastras it is also said that if honestly and sincerely a Sadhaka takes one step towards God, God comes running towards him taking a hundred steps. The Lord thinks, "Oh, he is coming to Me. I shall go and save him." Such is the compassion of God. ~ by Swami Krishnananda

Monday, October 23

...beginning new

change is in the air again...i can feel it coming on. i can't really describe any of it as I truly see it and feel it...but that's part of this game it seems. cryptic...but such is the mysteries of life.

i really don't even know what it is i'm feeling. i just know...this is ending...and i trust this knowing. i may not know the how, when, or anything else of it...but i know...this is ending.

Sunday, October 22

fascinating discovery...

“Past and future exist in the present reality, appearing to be different because of having different characteristics or forms. (Y.S. 4.1)”

if past and future exist only in the present reality, then "past" and "future" are the faces the present puts on. everything is a mask the present moment puts on. the concept of time gives the illusion that there is a continuation of moments, but in truth, for the Seer, there is only the now, only one moment that changes its colors around. the past and future don't exist in actuality but rather as imprints or images that have dissolved or that will rise in the field of your awareness.

..."All of the characteristics, forms, memories, deep impressions, etc., exist in the here and now, whether in active or potential forms. The appearance of past and future comes from the condition, path, or order in which they are sequenced."

this means that all the characteristics, forms, memories, and deep impression are within me RIGHT NOW. these things are either in active form, or in mere potentiality.

experience then is the mind arranging its memories, forms, characteristics, deep impressions etc. into a past and future. everything is already there, but it's the mind that puts the pieces together in accordance with its current understanding of what reality is. as the understanding is expanded, the images before the mind are rearranged to fit in with the current grasp...

Friday, October 13

the pain of imagined separation

every anxiety or stress i ever experience is based on the idea that i am separate from my source. regardless of the form the anxiety takes, this is the surest thing i have noticed. any kind of disorder in thoughts, or any kind of experience where i feel conflicted, if i look closely i totally see that underneath all the surface thoughts is the idea that i am limited, that i am separate, or that i am without the source. whenever i pause to look at the situation, i can see my discomfort and know that something isn't right, but it doesn't always dawn on me that in that moment i had attached to the idea that i was on my own in this life. this idea is layered with thoughts that change in appearance and content but that essentially reflect this at their core. i don't always recognize this. i'd like to be more aware of this and grasp the true nature of the "problem" whenever it arises.

Tuesday, October 10

The Girl and the Sea II

The Heart Center
I returned to the foot of the Ocean with some slight trepidation. The stillness of the night invited my longing heart, yet my mind knew not what to expect. I sat to gaze out into this infinite wonder again. I can't explain my affinity to this mysterious body of solidified mist. Like others before me, I too believe the Ocean has the answers to my one-thousand-and-one questions about this life, about my Self, and about all the elements of every level of my being. In its vastness and inner stillness, it holds all the secrets I long to know still. This was as clear as its translucent reality. This bolted vault that holds all of life's goodness, by its grace, lets me know what I can know. It speaks to me in a silent voice none can hear, and stirs my soul in ways that cannot be shown.
Just as it extended to the tips of my toes, and just as I began to break apart and follow it home, my hand came to rest on a pointed rock. Startled I jerk-opened my eyes and turned to my right. It was no rock. It was the shell of the sea turtle nestled right next to me. Oh the beauty of this creature, of its steady and solid stillness, of its magnificence. I reckoned that it too was on its journey home. I paused and gazed at it as my mind wondered what it was doing situated so close to me. Moments passed in silence while the palm of my hand rested on this rough casing of my new companion.
In the stillness of the moment and of my mind I asked myself "why is it that such a tender creature of nature, of such gentleness, poise, and grace clothes itself with such a thick and impermeable exterior?" I gazed at it further. I retracted my hand as I watched its fixed motionless ocean-ward gaze. Then a thought arose into my mind's eye.
“I am but a reflection of your heart.
I recognized this gentle whisper in my mind as my tone and yet not of my own making. I gasped lightly. My mind was gearing up to take a flight but I grabbed hold and grounded myself. I placed my hands on my sides and felt the cold sand between my fingers. I knew this was my chance to hear and cloth myself in a wisdom not my own. I asked what that meant.
“What does that mean?” I waited.
Then the tone that wasn't of my own making began.
“Sweet child you ask to enter life's secret chambers and know not she had long ago given you the key. Life reflects all the answers you seek in all the beauty she keeps close to her heart. But you do not see.
You see the magic of nature and yet you see not your own.
You gasp at the beauty of this shimmering moon and think nothing of your own. All you see before you is appearing FOR you. It means to point you toward your home and your truth. And this home is never where you thought it be.
I said that I am but a reflection of your heart. You think me tender, gentle, poise, still, and graceful. So too is your inner heart these things. But you have surrounded your gentleness with fences thicker than my shell.
Would you not free yourself of such a cage? Would you not free me from this heavy weight I'm made to carry to remind you?”
It retreated into its shell.
I felt my heart ache. My whole being responded in a sinking throb that rendered me breathless. I wished it stay unhidden from my eyes for all that was before me was the lifeless casing of something beautiful.
“Appearances deceive you dear child.”
My panic subsided as the voice continued.
“Beauty, truth, and love rest beyond appearances. Think not that a reflection or an appearance tells the whole story for it can only touch upon the surface of truth. A mirror never tells the whole story yet you have yourself believing you are the skin and bones, a lifeless casing of your choosing.”
I am puzzled. And yet I am comforted.
“Your home and mine is where the gentleness remains. Your home rests beneath the shell you have erected around your heart. Your heart is your home and it is your beauty also.
Dearest love of life, do you not realize that you abide in the heart of life itself?
Your heart is life's heart, for life never parts from herself.”
It fell silent for a moment.
“I come into this shell for it is where my safety lies. You have taught me and yourself that the heart of life is something to fear and to hide from.
You have misunderstood.
You fear the heart of life and have confined yourself into a cage of misery, into a shell unbecoming of your true beauty.
The heart of life is tender…it is good.
You have misunderstood.”
It emerged its head out of its shell and began to slowly slip into the sea. As it disappeared into its home, I heard its whisper between my ears.
“You have misunderstood. You have misunderstood.”

Monday, October 9

this unfolding Love

i can feel my heart trying to escape through my chest right in this moment. i've been feeling it since the moment i arrived and woke up in my old bed. there's a lot of love in the air. the trailing echo of love songs from my friends CD, the comfort and roominess of the back seat, the distant voices of the two girls in the front seats, and the pitch black darkness of the road all makes this seem like the perfect setting to make this entry. this love comes to me in many places and through many faces. it comes through so many embraces,smiles, and looks exchanged between friends and family alike. it turns to greet me in the yes of old and new, shining out a lightness i can spot a distance away as my heart flutters and my whole being pulses to the beat of this invisible tenderness that surrounds all things. but there's more to it than eyes can meet. there's more brewing underneath this skin that words can't yet express. there's a knowing of things to come, of things inexplicable and indefinable, of things the intellect alone cannot express without the aid of time and a new face that in truth is not new at all. and this knowing brings along with it a longing like no other. it's a longing for growth but of a different kind, of a kind i can't piece together as of yet. it's an unsolved puzzle but all the pieces laid out before me are beginning to make sense. the truth of the unseen and so much more reveal themselves in the most subtle of ways. Love and the expression of it through every aspect of my life consume my heart and yet fill its hunger at the same time. i am living in the heart of life and releasing my breath as i make this place my resting place. i'm nestled in the very fabric of a living and pulsing love that has come to be the air i breathe and the rhythm my soul moves to.

Sunday, October 8

the lightness of truth...

"...understand it is impossible that you be hurt except by your own thoughts"

how empowering

Sunday, October 1

Dear Love,

I feel myself opening and getting closer still to your tender and enveloping essence of bliss.
Your gifts are unending, ever flowing through me and setting every inch of me free from the cages I built around myself.
I live in your heart and the awareness of this grows with each passing breath.
You are the light that lets me see in a world diluted by its own forgetfulness.
Let not blindness come over me but call me with the silent whispers of your heart.
My soul's longing is this and only this.
Help me to stay aware.
Help me to stay in Love.
Help me to surrender all to your light, for your light is the only resting place for my soul.
I thank you for another day of loving.

Baby Smiles as Meditation

You know when you're having a frazzled day and something pops up in your face to get you to slow down, get back to earth, and just remem...