Monday, November 14

May we be filled with loving kindness

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be happy.
May I be safe.
May I awaken to the light of your true nature.
May I be free.

May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be free from suffering.
May you be happy.
May you be safe.
May you awaken to the light of your true nature.
May you be free.

May we be filled with loving kindness.
May we be peaceful and at ease.
May we be free from suffering.
May we be happy.
May we be safe.
May we awaken to the light of our true nature.
May we be free. 

May all beings be filled with loving kindness.
May all beings be peaceful and at ease.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature.
May all beings be free.

Sunday, October 30

Shift. Release. Rinse. Repeat.



Ever look at a photo and see the entirety of a story dissolve? Like your brain looks at the pixels and sees through down to the last grain, it sees the trees instead of the forest and then says ‘meh’. I wonder what it means when meanings change and dissolve right before your eyes. When the meaningful suddenly becomes meaningless and the meaningless suddenly fails to have any reality to your heart and mind.

It was never going to end, because it didn’t even begin.
This story telling through time and space we’ve been doing, that means everything.
Here we are again lost in a game of hide and seek.
Memories and patterns silenced so they never speak.

I hope that’s not what it means.

I hope I’m not seeing the same damn pattern repeating.

I wonder what happens when we realize our telling patterns – what happens when we step back from our own behaviors and look to see how we always do the same thing when we enter and exit scenes in our movie. We make our entry in the same way. We do our “look at me, hear me, see me” dance in the same way. We make changes to our landscape in the same way, doing our avoid-withdraw-run away dance in the same way. We maintain ourselves as repeating patterns so much so that if anyone was paying attention they would be able to predict what we were going to do next, because it’s always how we’ve done it before.

The only way to take control is to do something new and different than you’ve ever done before. Go off automatic. Question the steps and impulses and make a new decision based in your intelligence rather than your memories. Take all the memories you hold inside yourself and turn them upside down, shake them around and set them free. It’s the only way to a new reality. It’s the only way to higher ground. It’s the only way to a new game. Level up!

New definition of self.
New expectation for your environment.
New thoughts and emotions about what this moment means.
New actions and interactions.

Shift. Release. Rinse. Repeat.

Friday, August 12

The Sun's Always Shining

I imagine I have many entries about the sun in this blog to fill a book. That's how grateful I am to always return to that gold electric glow up in the sky and on the inside. That sun, it never stops shining, whether you can see it or not, its light ever-waiting for you to land on it with your eyes or with your heart.

What an undeniably wondrous existence this is.

I remembered something this morning. A trip to San Francisco that I made years ago, a trip the whole
way flying from the east coast to the west coat I spent thinking and feeling like I was riding off into the sunset of my heart. A feeling that I was both leaving and returning home. It had this element of nostalgia with it, a deja vu kind of plane ride that I couldn't put my finger on but felt nonetheless. That feeling stayed with me that trip as I walked the various hilly streets and played with friends.

I find it peculiar when I wake up to a familiar feeling, not knowing what put it there, what stirred it up into my awareness and yet still being able to connect and recall all the memories with it.

The hold of the folds that is this life, is the grand gesture that is God's own hand reaching to restart your heart. Hold on tight. There's no looking back, simply because there is no 'back there' anywhere in life. There's just right now, and whatever language of light plays out in your heart in this moment.

Our lives are woven with feelings and our days put together with geometry. We see what we think we see, but it is what we feel that tells us which world our soul currently inhabits. And when that world feels like light, and gratitude, and the magic of the unknown filling you with inexplicably good feeling anticipation, you must remind yourself to tip your hat to the sun up in the sky and deep inside.

Friday, July 15

The Will to Win by Berton Braley

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it,
If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry and cheap for it,
If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,
If gladly you'll sweat for it,
Fret for it,
Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,
If you'll simply go after that thing that you want
With all your capacity,
Strength, and sagacity,
Faith, hope, and confidence, stern pertinacity,
If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body and brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,
If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You'll get it.

Tuesday, July 5

Dive Deep, The Ocean's Just Right


Easy days.
Light days.
Light years in space and I'm as cleared as they come.

And I'm getting clearer still.

Shedding all that would keep us from being light. Unloop, unearth, unwire, fray, frizzle and fiddle until it all comes tumbling apart, tumbling down leaving only the shine of your unmarked soul.

What happens when you're shadow dancing thinking the magic couldn't have been bigger, brighter and more fantastic than what you are living, and you turn around to find that it's been your shadow you've been watching so far?

What happens when you finally finally finally look at yourself directly in all your illuminated glory?

What becomes of your dancing then?

Stick around.
And take your glasses off.
Look on up, the lighting's just right

We haven't seen anything but the farthest edges of all that we are. The splendor and the inexplicable wonder we watched so far is cast by the shadow of our shadows.

What then of our light then?

When in doubt, always choose the free fall.

Dive deep knowing you'll only land in a clearer space than the ground you were standing on.

Tuesday, March 1

On the object of emotional enlightment as the subject.

Orange cats and dreamy numbers and little boys with garden tools and my mind was going WHAT.

This morning I woke up with a new kind of feeling swirling all around and in my being. My meditations for the past six months or so have been on a whole new level. So has my life. I say this even though I've been meditating for at least about a decade and every single one of those sit downs, eye closed, watch breath moments haven't been anything other than utter deliciousness. But lately, thirty year old memories evaporating and all the juicy good feelings I've ever danced with taking up center stage has been the game. I smile a lot these days. Uncontrollably. I laugh in my bed early in the morning for no reason. Yes, exactly like a crazy person. It's wonderful!

Only the feelings I'm giving me I now know I'm giving to me. Breaking the old stimulus response loop, breaking that thing we do where we are entirely dependent on the environment to tell us who we are and what we feel and what we think and the like is a magical, a very magical thing indeed. What do you mean you can live life in a state that is totally independent of what does or doesn't happen in the world around you? What do you mean you can live a life knowing who you are on every level without the environment needing to tell you so?

I'm not rapping about intellectual enlightenment and the detachment and headlessness that brings. That too has its place but it's an incomplete puzzle. There needs to be an emotional enlightenment right along with that. When mind and intellect are awake alongside emotions and the body, oh what a swirly world it looks to be.

That probably won't make any sense to eyes that have not gone inside and looked at how the whole doing the human thing happens. That's what I said. You know that whole "you are not a human doing, you are a human being" thing? Well, you're actually not a human being either - you're doing the being human thing. You're doing all those beliefs and sighs and deep gut wrenching tearing yourself all up inside and rehearsing the same old emotions over and over again thing. What you are has no such boundaries of being-ness or no conditions or rules for operating in such a way. But alas, that is the game you play.

When was the last time I blogged anyway?

Well that is the juice for this early day after the leap year morning.

And the ending? Well...Love Wins Big.

Friday, November 13

When it’s Epic

What makes a story Epic?

If you go by Hollywood’s portrayal, an epic story is one of grand adventure – it could involve alien invasions or alien abductions or some endless sequence of overcoming one out of this world obstacle after another. “Epic” in the mainstream sense is equated with some larger-than-life external experience showing up to redefine the way you look at the world and maybe even yourself. But in this presentation, it’s all about what’s happening all around you and what’s happening to you…seldom is it about what’s happening through you.

I’m not sure what made me ask what makes something “epic” to me. I was reflecting on the past ten years of my life, looking at all of the adventures I’ve gone on and the changes I’ve experienced and I could only settle on one conclusion. What makes an experience epic for me in my own life is not when something apparently unbelievable comes along wrapped up in a giant golden bow but rather when something comes along and unwraps things inside of me so that I once again awaken to how everything is happening through me. The epic thing is the thing that makes me look at myself differently, makes me feel more empowered, more loved, more supported, more connected, more capable, more magical than I ever thought I could be. It makes me more self-aware and reminds me and reflects to me that all that I behold, whether believable or unbelievable, is my own doing.

What’s epic is never the thing "out there" but the thing inside your own being. The only larger than life thing there is, is the living power inside every being. That's it. Everything else is a mirage formed and deformed by the degree to which this living power is allowed to express itself fully through you.

The Universe doesn’t actually have scales in what it presents. Any scale that is perceived is a human construction and not an actual elevation or devaluation inherent in the thing being perceived. There are no great things and great people and small things and small people. Regardless of the wrappings something comes in, it is not greater or lesser than something else. No event, no circumstance, no individual or groups of individual are held to a higher value than others in the cosmic sense - only in the realm of conditioned thinking does such a gradation exist.

The core of everything that shows up is epic. If you focus on the wrappings, you will become entranced by them falling to the belief that they are as their surface suggests. But the surface, the wrapping, the appearance will always be an unreliable presentation. The value of what shows up, its true service to you and your evolution, is not in its appearance but rather in what it makes you aware of about your own being. If you focus on the core of whatever is showing up though, you will without fail awaken to the epic capacity inside yourself.

Every moment is an epic moment when you condition yourself to focus on its core, its essence, the substance out of which it has been formed.